To take eldest DC and baby on day trips over the summer while middle child is at nursery?

[AngeloMysterioso]

So I’ve 3 DC- 4, 2 and 9mo baby.

DS 1 and 2 usually go to nursery together two days a week, however as eldest is starting primary in September we’ve decided to drop it down to one day a week to allow DS2 some time to get used to going in without him. So on those days it will be me, DS1 and baby at home.

I mentioned to DH that I’d like to take DS1 and baby on some fun day trips on those days, so that he can have some quality time with me and baby before he starts school.

It’s worth mentioning here that baby will be starting nursery one day a week in Sept and will also eventually start having an overnight once a week with GPs- at the moment it’s just DS1 and 2 going to GPs but DS1 won’t be able to once school starts as it’s midweek and they’re too far away to do the school run. So DS2 and baby are going to have lots of time together and with me/GPs while DS1 is at school.

I’m not thinking of anything huge, just like petting farms, zoos etc.

DH said he doesn’t think it will be fair on DS2 to miss out, although I’ve pointed out we can still do things as a whole family at the weekends.

AIBU?

I don’t see any wrong with it. Maybe you can balance it out with a bit of one on one time with your 2 year old?

Of course you're being unreasonable 🤣🤣like, not saying you can't do anyhing fun at allwhilst one child is at nursery. But you can't expect the 4 year old to NOT say, ohhhhhh we went to the zoo today, and if your 2 year old is like mine, they'll know they missed out. What a horrible idea 😭😭😭😭

That's seems fine to me (quite lovely really). I would also do the same for your 2 year old at some point so it balances out. Maybe when your eldest is at school.

I think this is really common. As long as DS2 gets some quality time too, I don’t think it’s a problem. I take my toddler to places on my day off on a Wednesday whilst my older son is at school. He understands this is the toddlers time and then during the hols, I put the toddler into childcare for a couple of days and the older child gets to select a couple of days out to do.

Do it once and see how it pans out. If DC1 decides to tell DC2 all about it and DC2 gets upset, then you might have to rethink.

I can see why you are sending DC2 on his own, makes sense. But maybe for a couple of weeks DC1 goes on his own and you do something with the two youngest?

As I mentioned in the OP, there’s going to be lots of times that DS2 and baby do things together with me or GPs while DS1 is at school so it will balance out. And yes I expect I will do the same for DS2 the month before he starts school, although that’s 2 years away yet.

I'd find something that the 4yo can do, but the 2yo would be to young for. The baby will just tag along, but they do the same whatever you do. If it's something the 2yo would be to young to enjoy anyway, they might not get so jealous.

While I see the logic I couldn't have left one out from a lovely trip out.

As a mum of three I think it’s hugely important to carve out 1:1 special time with your kids. It’s also a logistical nightmare actually making it happen. With a baby in the mix this is the closest you’ll get. So I say go for it. You can explain to middle that this was mummy/DS1 time and you’ll take him to something else for mummy/DS2 time at the weekend.

For what it’s worth I feel that overall my DC1 has often been the one to miss out on mum time as she’s the most self sufficient and mums often get stuck with the littlest. I wish I’d carved out a bit more special time with her when she was younger.