AIBU to not want to date this man because he’s Australian?

[SandalsAndSand]

There’s a mutual friend of sorts whom my friend keeps trying to get me to date and he’s apparently open to it but I’m not looking to date anyone however I might have considered it as we have several interests in common and he’s very nice but I know that he wants to return to Queensland at some point and I have family here that I really don’t want to leave and I don’t particularly want to leave the UK.

Another minor factor is that I don’t like the accent or Australian slang but the main reason is that I don’t want to leave the UK and I don’t think it’s fair to hold him back.

So AIBU?

YANBU

Even if he wasn't a total ocker, the accent would put me off, as it would for a Kiwi (they sound like Rhodesians!).

Perfectly valid reason not to start dating someone. It won’t end well.

You can choose not to date him for any reason you like, and your reasons seem perfectly valid.

YANBU if he intends to go back home, waste of time.

Being an Aussie wouldn’t put me off, I fancy John Torode and that is part of his appeal 😀

YANBU, I say this as someone who married a man from another country. You really need to be on the same page about the future to enter in to a potentially serious relationship with someone from a different country.

If you're looking for a long-term thing - yanbu

If you're open to something fun and not particularly serious - yabu

YANBU. But I do have to add that my SIL is an Australian, (my DD moved to Australia to live and met him there) and he is adorable.

But if you never want to leave the UK to live and he wants to return home at some point - it's a non starter.

G’day mate,

I don’t think this is the spunk for you even if he does know his way around a barbie.

I don’t think the accent is an issue but having been married to someone from far away within the UK I wouldn’t start a relationship with anybody who might want to move back to where they come from again. Plus there is all the travel to visit family and friends. Fine if you like that but not for me.

I would date someone who may go back to their country and keep it casual. It could ber fun and not too serious.

But if you don't like a voice, there's no getting past it. I was set up on a date with a man who stopped traffic he was so handsome, like a taller more athletic David Bowie. Worked as a male model and squeaked like Joe Pasquale. I couldn't face more than two dates. DH's voice, on the other hand made me melt. I spoke with him on the phone before meeting him and I was already smitten.

Unless you are just interested in a fling, then YANBU.

Australia is just so far away, so if he does intend to go home at some point, you'll either have to split up or go with him and accept that you'll likely only see your family once a year, if that. If you did go with him, had children and then split up, your situation would be even more complicated. A friend of mine has a son who went to live in Australia with his wife. They've now split up. He isn't happy in Australia and would love to come back to Britain, but that would mean leaving his two young sons behind.

Nobody thinks divorce will happen to them, but it's hardly a rare occurrence. And even if you don't get to that stage, one of you is going to have to make a big sacrifice to be together. I think you are sensible for looking at this in such a clear headed manner.

Very sensible of you! If you don’t want to move there best not to start

No way! Love the accent personally. Why would you get involved with a bloke planning on moving to the other side of the world if youre not ? What's the point?

Your friend should wind their neck in and stop 'trying to get you to date' anyone. You don't need any reason and any reason for not being interested is enough.

I’m not looking to date anyone so why even consider it at all? Why is the friend trying, and apparently trying over and over?

Yanbu.
He wants to return home and you have no interest in moving.
Absolutely no point in getting involved.

Totally reasonable

Just say calmly, 'I'm not looking for a casual relationship, thanks, Kate. Kevin is planning on returning to Australia eventually and that's not something I would ever consider, so I'm not interested in starting a relationship that is never going to end well.'

I wouldn't as a push from someone else but did myself post divorce, met him locally as he was over here teaching for a bit. I always knew he'd be going back, but we didn't talk about it and just had fun for 9 months. There was no big thing when he did, and we're still friendly on fb to this day, message on birthdays etc, comment on pics.

It’s never unreasonable to say no to dating someone if you don’t find them appealing.

There’s no point in dating someone who’s planning to move away, especially if you’re even that keen on him.

Just say no.

YANBU
Your reasons are valid

I agree - there was always an underlying issue that he gave up his country to be with me and l let him get away with all sorts because l constantly felt guilty about that.