AIBU to remove MIL from Facebook?

[Hidingplace]

MIL added me to FB years ago. Like many older people, she uses it a lot to post pictures etc and I use it very occasionally for personal reasons but follow local groups etc, which I find really useful. Hence, why I don’t want to take myself off.

Anyway, increasingly, MIL shares awful, racist posts. Often shares Britain First memes etc…it’s horrendous.

Partner is not like this at all. Years ago we had a big sort of discussion/argument with her at Christmas where he said that demonstrated how he would never change her mind.

Anyway, fast forward to now and I’m
getting so angry with some of the things I see. I tried to ‘hide’ her so I wouldn’t see her posts but it hasn’t seemed to work. I said to other half that I was going to remove her and send her a message along the lines of ‘sorry I’m going to have to remove you but I find many of your posts very upsetting but no hard feelings’. To be clear, if this was anyone else I would have done this ages ago!

AIBU to do this? Do I have to put up with the awful racist behaviour so as not cause any issues? I just feel like if you see this you should call it out, but equally do understand his unease.

Help!!!

Just mute her /unfollow her. Saves the drama.

Block her via the privacy settings. Follow any groups you find useful on your own account, then block. You can Google how to do this and it will also stop her finding you. I don’t understand how you can’t do this or it hasn’t worked.

Hide her. You don't have to be dramatic or try and make a point to her - she clearly won't hear it.

Go into your FB and look at her latest post. Click the 3 dots in the top right and select “ unfollow MIL but remain friends”. You won’t see her posts and she’ll be non the wiser.

This.

She is not going to change, so it's not worth the fight. However, you don't have to put up with it. If she asks, tell her - I don't agree with with some of your posts, so rather than fall out it's best if I don't see them.

Interesting, thanks for replies.
I don’t understand how I hadn’t managed to do this either as thought I had. I’ve done this to one person in the past (for different reasons) and I never see their posts. I think maybe because I have an old phone that plays up and so can’t use the app so have to use the web page, things don’t work or something. Maybe when I get a new phone I’ll get a nicer news feed.

Thank you. Just to be clear, I was going to send her a very kind message if I deleted her…I’m certainly not looking for any kind of fight. I hate conflict and arguing with family members is definitely not something I want to do.

Just block her. I blocked my in-laws after a horrible post saying that teenagers these days are snowflakes blah blah blah. I'd of ignored it but i was at the time separated from my teen dd who had tried to take her own life the week before and was in a psychiatric hospital

I’m so sorry to hear that, what an awful thing to experience; I hate that bloody word. Sounds like you did the right thing X

I put YABU - because I don't understand why you don't just block her.

I would block her and tell her I couldn’t bare to see her hateful posts any longer.

When people say block do you mean remove as a friend? I’m not that savvy when it comes to social media but my understanding was blocking was when someone was trying to contact you whereas removing someone as a friend just takes them away…

I’d delete but not mention it unless she does. Would be easier to say face to face, and exactly that, that her posts upset you

There is no such thing as a kind message in this situation. It'll be the nuclear option.

Send her a note to let her know that someone has hacked her SM and is posting embarrassingly stupid stuff that makes people think she has gone nuts?

Just kidding. Just block or unfriend her. I don’t have FB so I don’t know the lingo but I would not bother saving the delicate feelings of an avowed racist.

Sending any kind of message is causing drama.

Just unfriend her and if she even notices (doubtful if you hardly ever post on there), just say you don't know what's happened but you've stopped using FB anyway.

I have made several of my in-laws 'acquaintances' on Facebook and unfollowed them. MIL mainly for picking arguments with my friends in the comments of anything I post.
Now anything I put on Facebook goes to 'Friends except acquaintances'.

Personally I'd be ceasing all contact with her, not just on FB.

Thanks everyone who replied. Food for thought. Im going to sleep on it and decide what to do. She’s visiting on Sunday so need to make a decision by then X

Are the posts bad enough that you can report them to Facebook as racist and have them removed? Maybe she’ll either take the hint that they’re not appropriate or get a ban until she stops posting.

Wow that’s so insensitive of her!!
hope your daughter is ok now.
did you get any backlash for blocking her?

I could have written this exact same post. My MIL is the same posting racist memes about immigrants most of the stuff she posts is factually incorrect and the best part is my FIL is a bloody Indian Immigrant!! My husband is 1/2 Indian and my children 1/4 Indian. All FILs Indian immigrant family are on her Facebook too!

I find it sooo hard as anyone else I would call them out on it. To be fair if it was to my face I would but by some miracle the topic has not come up. I’ve blocked her but somehow every now and then they seem to get through and I get wound up. I don’t know what the answer is but I know how you feel

@Cheeseismyfavourite nice to know someone else is going through the same. I would like to say that’s unbelievable of your MIL but I can imagine! If any racist comments are made in front of me I always say something…am met with stupidity in return tbh. We once got into the heated disagreement whereby my partner and myself showed up each of her beliefs and since then she clearly avoids saying stuff in front of us but sometimes it slips through. And like you I thought i’d unfollowed her or something but the last few weeks I’m being shown stuff.
@BlueBlahBlah Her comments are awful…one came through that wasn’t her sharing something and was her own comments. I didn’t realise you can report stuff to FB, although I have heard of it now I think about it. I realise I’m making myself look very novice when it comes to social media but this is actually a great suggestion! Thanks!
@LindorDoubleChoc I see very little of her. I know though; I would never associate with someone like this out of choice normally but it’s not really out of choice!

I'd be tempted to tell her on Sunday that as you have friends of different ethnicities on Facebook, you are going to have to unfriend her as they are seeing her comments and it's causing offence.

I also have a MIL who does this.

Memes saying stuff like 'we need to look after these' (pic of homeless person) 'before these' (pic of some people on a boat). Endless crap about the good old days and how kids today don't know how hard it was in her day. How neuro-divergent kids have nothing wrong with them and just need a good telling off.

She's as thick as shit. No amount of explaining will change her. We unfollowed to save the earache.