I was told I wasn't quite meeting standards at work and am having support to address this. I've beaten myself up for not being good enough for weeks and was desperate to improve.
One area of support was on a particular type of document I have to prepare in my role. I've worked had to raise my game and had every example scrutinised with multiple feedback and it's working.
The other day I was asked to join a call to help review a similar type of document prepared by a more senior team member. It was full of the kind of mistakes that had got me in trouble and I made a whole page of notes of things they needed to address. My own manager was on the call and seemed a bit sheepish about it. So Ive been majorly called out for falling below standards yet this other team member gets away with similar and no one bats an eyelid or says anything.
Then I got some positive feedback on an email from a client. Various managers were copied in but no one mentioned anything or gave any recognition. Im not looking for my ego to be inflated here but I know that If it was a mistake or complaint, they'd have rung me straight away to haul me over hot coals. They only seem interested in finding fault.
I'm beginning to feel like I'll never meet the standards and even if I do no one will notice because they only seem to want to focus on the mistakes.