Would you ask if you were still invited?!

[hereismydog]

Friend is getting married abroad next year, we all received Save The Dates a few months ago, and formal invitations must have gone out this week as the rest of our group (there are 7 of us) have said in the chat that they’ve received theirs. It’s been 4 days and ours hasn’t come 🫣 I know post can be a bit hit and miss so I’m inclined to think it’s probably a post problem rather than that I haven’t been invited! We haven’t fallen out, but I have recently sent my apologies that I can’t attend her baby shower as it’s a 10hr round trip (I’m also pregnant and struggling with coccyx pain whilst driving, and will be 24 weeks by the time of the shower!) so I’m not sure if I’ve annoyed her with that!

Would you wait another week or so and see if it turns up and then ask? Assume I haven’t been invited and say nothing? Or just ask if we are invited or not? 🙈

If you've received a save the date then yes I don't think there's anything wrong with saying yours hasn't come yet!
A save the date is sent out to people they're inviting!

Oooh thats tricky! I would ask her in a nice way, you need to know one way or another so you can save up etc.

I wouldn't worry about the babyshower, you are also pregnant and in pain! Most friends would understand ❤️

You need to know, so it’s perfectly reasonable to ask.

This!

Just put in the group chat that yours hasn’t arrived yet and keep it light hearted.

I’ve just found it tucked under the windscreen wiper of DP’s car 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Second problem is there’s no bloody name on the invitation so I don’t know if it’s for me, me and DP, or if baby is invited 😅

Glad you found it! What names were on the envelope?

Or on the save the date? Otherwise no big deal asking her to confirm who's invited.

Just looked at the invitation in more detail and there’s a QR code to a whole wedding website…

Baby isn’t invited and neither is DP, guess I won’t be going then as I won’t be leaving a 4 month old (likely breastfed!) baby at home. We’ve only been together 12 years so surprised he’s not invited, never mind 🥴

That sounds ridiculous tbh - an invitation to a wedding abroad is a big ask anyway, but to expect partners and children to be left at home is a joke! I know what I would do...

That’s really weird, I wouldn’t go either!

Are other partners invited?

Is the wedding really small?

I guess you could all travel and take it as a holiday, with you just going to the wedding with the rest of your friends?

Are your other friends’ partners invited? Are you absolutely sure he isn’t invited? Why did he have the invite in the first place?

That’s ridiculous expecting someone to travel to a destination wedding without their partner and baby. I wonder what goes through people’s minds sometimes. OP I’d double check you’ve got that right first, and if it is just you then I’d be declining in your position too.

Just looked up the venue and it seems bloody tiny, considering bride and groom both have huge families and lots of friends!

He’s definitely not invited, only my name was on the envelope and the website says no +1s and no children 😅 have asked the other girls and one of their partners is invited but he is also pals with the groom so that figures, my DP is friendly with the couple but he wouldn’t socialise with them independently if that makes sense. Website mentions a nanny service for the ceremony so could make use of that and just have a little relaxing holiday with my friends and baby outside of the wedding, would be nice to have a girls’ trip (plus whatever baby turns out to be!)

The invitation was tucked under the wiper by the postman as the wheelie bin was in the way so he couldn’t squeeze past the car (saw him this morning and he checked to make sure I’d seen it!)

Lucky it didn’t rain 😂

Oh with that update, if you’re happy with that arrangement then go for it!

I have a lot of experience of weddings with a baby. It’s really handy when there’s a nanny around (but don’t expect it to be the same as going without a baby!)

I’m going abroad alone with baby a few months prior to see my Mum so will have some practice at travelling with a tiny person. At least for the wedding I’ll be able to plonk baby on one of my friends on the flight while I go for a wee 😅

Also - I got it wrong, baby will be 9 months by the time of the wedding, I had 4 months in my head when I posted as that’s when I’ll be travelling to see my Mum.

I reckon we’ll be fine, I’ll be with my friends and my little one and DP can have a rest at home with the dog, which I’m sure he will be more than pleased about 😂 baby’s passport will be full by the time they turn 1 at this rate!

I’d get together with my mates and see if any of the other partners are up for making it a holiday.

The ladies can get dressed up and go to the wedding whilst the men lounge round the pool. Could be fun.

The baby will be that bit older , probably on solids. Would you just go yourself? Make it a nice trip with other women guests? DP can look after baby .

Sounds like you've got a plan. You can see the positive side, especially if there's a crèche at the ceremony. Go ahead and enjoy it! 😄

I would, but I think I’d miss them if I went alone for a whole week 😂 will see how I feel and can always add baby to the flight if I decide I don’t want to go without them!

Have just chatted to the other girls and we’re going to rent a little villa between all of us 🥰

Sounds fab - you'll have a great time!

Bare in mind if you EBF initially that baby to take a bottle by 9 months isn't a definite I had 2 bottle refuses and had to miss special occasions as they weren't invited x