The eldest makes the big decisions

[Orangeandgold]

Does your family run like this? I’m the eldest, and recently there has been a few financial family decisions that have had to be made (e.g. helping to pay for a funeral taking place back home), and I’ve noticed that my family come to me to “sign things off” or bring people together.

Recently something happened in my family where my cousins children were put into care - my mum is the eldest (alive) in her family in the Uk, and all the relatives (as we have family abroad) were calling her as if it was her fault that it happened “under her watch” when my cousin didn’t even involve her in his daily life! It stressed her out so much, and she finally made the decision to just remove herself from the situation.

I know this highly depends on family set up - but does your family look to the eldest to make huge decisions? Or to oversee huge family matters? AIBU to believe that this role is exhausted and you should be able to pass the baton to someone else as I have a few cousins that love the control and would take on this kind of role naturally.

Not in my family so it may be a cultural thing. My grandmother is the last living person of her generation and she is "the family elder" and everyone looks after her. My mother is the eldest of her generation but she is only involved in decisions about my granny and her property. Nobody would have the audacity to ask her to take on responsibility for unrelated children.
I am the eldest in my generation and don't expect to get involved in my cousins' affairs.
We are a close family and we help when needed but it's not been put to us that we somehow have to be in everyone's business

In my family I am this person. Not the eldest, but am the eldest daughter. I adore my brother but he isn’t the person you’d go to for problem solving.