To not like "I hope this email finds you well" (or similar) as a professional greeting?

[WindsurfingDreams]

It just sets my teeth on edge. I know the person sending it probably means well, and I am not entirely sure why it annoys me to be honest so I may well be being unreasonable.

I suspect it's partly because I am chronically ill so can't remember the last time I was "well".

But partly it just feels so unnecessary and not particularly professional (particularly when sent outside the organisation).

Anyway, I am partly hoping this thread will give me another perspective so I feel less irritated when I see it

Ps yes I know it is totally trivial etc etc. I don't spend hours dwelling on it!

I am not sure that 'I hope you are well' is automatically interpreted that way by everyone... underlining your comment that emails are easy to misinterpret.

A quick straw poll (global tech company) of a bunchof 20somethings to 50somethings (me!!) is that it means 'I am about to impose upon you to do something that's either not really your job or needed in an unreasonably short timeframe!! when used at work

So I suspect that its very company specific in its interpretation, and so shouldn't be used for any formal / external emails

I'm guilty of just going straight to the matter at hand. But it is a convention to offer a greeting, even though they know I couldn't care less how they are!
So I do start with a chatty 'hope you are enjoying the sun' sort of thing. I think they may be more likely to respond well if I greet them with a polite and personal comment.

@Pennyandolive

its not wishing you well though, it's 'hoping' you are well & when you're not you can't exactly say 'No, I have a health issue that makes me feel like absolute shit actually' & it's just another pretence you have to keep up.

i get people don't mean any harm by it and it's just a social 'nicety' but it can be jarring when you're not well. Especially with an
ongoing issue.

@WindsurfingDreams I think all you can do is keep rephrasing in your head as nothing more than a long way of saying 'hi' a 'social nicety' than means nothing.

i understand totally why it's jarring though.

I honestly thought someone was going to say I hope this email finds you before I do 😁 - I can't remember where I saw that, but I did make me laugh.

I use it (and mean it...mostly...). I have always I think kept my professional emails friendly (and professional) - ie hello, a brief nicety, content, many thanks.

As an aside (but related point). I work in a professional environment that is very male dominated (and feels like a boys club, which frankly now I'm in my 40s and it's still a bloody boys club is really starting to wear thin). I have been told a couple of times throughout my career (by men) that my tone can sometimes be a bit 'short' (when negotiating with the other side). I have given this a lot of reflection and genuinely (a) don't think it is (see above - I include the extra niceties etc above versus plenty of people who write "name, content....., their name" (ie no hello, no kind regards etc)), and (b) encounter many men whose tone is not just blunt or direct but actually downright rude on occasion, and yet don't imagine for a second they're ever pulled up on their tone.

Do other women on here feel they're often held to a different standard to male colleagues, particularly re tone / style of communication / style of management?

@Hateam

hate 'boils my piss'

gets on my last nerve!

I use the broader 'I hope all is well with you' as an opener.

That way, if they're currently dealing with the aftermath of some sort of disaster, it's a great soft opener for them to come back to me, and can't easily be confused with me asking them for a medical history.

Can't bloody stand 'Best' at the end of an email though. Best what??!! Just write the whole damn thing!!

I'm fully behind the intention - be friendly, don't just demand, etc - but it's one of those slightly stiff office phrases that sets my teeth on edge, like 'kind regards' or 'can I advise yourself that...' or 'best'. It feels like a doily under a plate of biscuits.

But then I work in an industry where extreme fury with a colleague is demonstrated by only putting a single x at the end of an email.

Mine usually begin "I hope you are well'. The example you give is too wordy for me.

All my emails are just;

Hi person / team.
Email content.
My preset sign off signature thing.

If we’re into a call & response type conversation, then I don’t bother with the hi bit any more, just straight to content.

When people send emails on a Monday asking how my weekend was? Err, I’ll respond to whatever you’ve put in the content thanks.

@DidYerAye

if I got an email saying 'can I advise yourself that'

it would get a stiff ignoring 🤣🤣

I don't like it either, but have started putting it, becuase if I start an email withouth it, and then they reply with it I feel like they're calling me rude for not putting it in the first place!

That's exactly it, every day is a battle to put on a face and "be well" for work. My close colleagues know and are aware of this (as it is hard to hide). But actually through my illness I am aware how many others put on a brave face to work through chronic illness etc.

I don't doubt for a minute that people mean well, it just always feels a bit jarring in an email from random professionals outside the organisation!

I think there are less health oriented "soft openers" that are better

So if you take communication stock phrases literally, surely you need to start with: Yours sincerely - because I might be joking? Yours faithfully - with respect and devotion (apparently), Best regards - because I hold you in high esteem, Kind wishes - nice!

The point is, it makes life quick and easy because you don't have to work out what to say every time. Different if you're emailing colleagues on a regular basis, but handy for formal and irregular communication.

But all your other examples don't relate to someone's health status.

I get they are seen by some as a stock phrase but that itself indicates how little actual "hope" there is behind it.

There are plenty of equally bland phrases unrelated to health that can be used.

I don't know, it just seems weirdly personal and therefore unprofessional.

I hate it when people say 'last nerve'!

Makes me stabby!

Yes, I would genuinely like everyone in the world to be well, even the people I don’t know. There is nobody I would wish anything less than that. They are humans, I don’t need to know them to hope they’re well.

Of course there's no "hope" behind it. There's no "kindness" behind kind wishes either, or sincerity or faith for that matter.

I guess the original 'I hope this letter finds you well' came from a time when communication was very slow, and there was a real possibility that the recipient could have come down with influenza or some other deadly plague. It probably was a genuine hope in those days.

In that situation I’d just say what I wanted but politely. Give context if I don’t really know them or deal with them regularly.

I'd do an opener explaining why I was contacting them eg "xyz has asked me to contact you " or "I understand you are dealing with xyz" .

I'm generally contacting other professionals so that seems the appropriate format

This is how I remember all e-mails starting a few years ago - I feel like the whole "Hope this finds you well" thing only started during covid

Or am I just mis-remebering?

This

I hate it too especially as a first line, it sets off my " are you a spammer/what are you trying sell me/ what are you buttering me up for/ what's the catch" alarm.

I don't mind 1 friendly line at the end (depending on how well you know them) but in work I don't think it's really needed. I think an email should be polite, professional and short without flowery filler.

The worst is a long over friendly email is awful, you just want to get to the content, deal with the email and get on with your work.

Thanks - I used to do emails more like this, but then most colleagues contacting me put some kind of pleasantry in first, so I feel like I should do too! It's probably a bit of a cycle where we are all copying each other

How about ' I hope this email blows your tits clean off Janet"