Neighbours kids playing outside early…

[FooFightersFan]

It’s the school holidays and I appreciate that by starting this thread I’m going to sound like a right grump, but here goes…

Our garden backs onto two houses, both of which are owned by couples with young kids. All four parents work from home full time.

The kids (youngest 3, all primary school aged) regularly play outside in the gardens. The houses are new build with literally no plants or shrubs. Just lawn surrounded by fence / brick walls. The noise just bounces around as there is nothing to ‘absorb’ it.

I accept that they are noisy when they play because they are young, energetic and kids!

Now that the school summer holidays are well under way, it’s become apparent that getting up and out into the garden at 8am is their routine. And they shout. A lot.
Then at 10am they go inside and there is silence for a while.

I can deal with it, I have 2 kids and I appreciate that’s what kids are like.

and here’s the “but”…

My son works full time and his room overlooks our back garden. He works 12 hour shifts a lot of days, in hospitality. Most shifts mean he is home around 11pm and in bed by midnight. He’s getting increasingly fed up with the neighbour kids’ morning routine.

During term time, the outside playing is just at the weekend. But now it’s a daily occurrence due to the holidays, I really feel for my son, because being woken up 90 mins before he needs to be up for his next shift is pretty miserable.

WIBU to message or pop round to my neighbours and see if they can encourage their kids to be quieter (a big ask) or to not let them out before 9:00.

I’ve become that grumpy neighbour 😩

Is there a bedroom at the front of your house that your son could sleep in?

My kids weren't early birds so they wouldn't have been out playing at that time but I think you just have to accept that 8am is the time that most people feel it's ok to start making noise. People are out and about, gardeners are mowing and builders are building.

Kids screaming are a bit annoying - we live next to a school so it is quieter in the school holidays.

If he gets home at 11pm. Sleeps at midnight until 8am. What's the problem with them making noice at that time? How much sleep does he need?

I think you'd be unreasonable to ask tbh. Why does your son's sleeping pattern trump multiple children's playing pattern?

I think 8am is too early and I'd be pissed off if our neighbours mowed the lawn every day at 9, or did something else equally noisy.

The thing is, you could be pissed off all you like but you wouldn't be able to stop it.

The same goes for OP's scenario- yes, it's annoying when you're woken up on a day off or after a late shift but it's not really anyone else's problem. The solution is for you to use earplugs etc. not for other people to stop living normally and making normal, everyday noises.

Ues because children can play out at 80, it is perfectly normal and is a very important part of child development. I doubt your son was silent during his childhood?

Yanbu, I think 9 am is early enough for noisy kids outside. Obviously the parents want them out so their noise doesn’t disturb them, but to hell with the neighbours who it does disturb.

I think it wouldn't be unreasonable for your son to pop over and say how lovely it is to hear kids enjoying the garden, but would it be possible to kindly move it just half an hour later as he is working shifts and his sleep is disturbed.

You can't enforce it, but if they are made aware that the noise is affecting someone else, they might try and compromise?

I know I would try and accommodate my neighbour for a reasonable request.

What is even funnier @FooFightersFan is that you believe the world revolves about your son.

Just because your son goes to bed at midnight, and considers 8:00 very early, does not mean the whole neighbourhood needs to adapt to your son hours.

"Screaming"?? You didnt put that in your OP. You said "shouting". Now that the answers are not what you like, you have ramped it up to "screaming", a shout and a scream are different.

Next it'll be "well actually they are out there at 6am - am I still being unreasonable?" just to make yourself feel in the right

I would speak to the parents but I would make a sort of game of it.

There is a fairy that lives in your garden and his / her job is to help people sleep. She helps tidy up their brains and makes sure they have nice dreams.

You can tell when she is working because the curtains / blind is closed on your son's room.

The fairy knows how hard it is for children to play quietly so she leaves gifts for quiet children.

They can tell when there is a gift because the bedroom curtains open.

Hang a bag of some sort on the adjoining fence / wall and stock up on small things like stickers, bubbles, single lego bricks, balloons that sort of thing.

If the kids are quiet they get a treat.

And yes your son needs some ear plugs.

At 19, is there a reason he can't speak to them himself given it's him who has the issue?

If my neighbour worked 12 hour shifts and nicely asked me this I wouldn’t hesitate to keep the children inside and quiet for a bit longer on the relevant days. I would never had let my ds make a racket if I knew next door worked those hours, it’s so selfish.

And what if your neighbours worked nights and wanted to sleep all day - would you keep your kids inside all summer?

I wouldn’t dream of letting my kids play outside in the garden at 8am. It’s not early to be up - but it is early for loud outside play.

However, I don’t think you should be telling neighbours what to do in their own home.

I think it’s time for some ear-plugs.

Building and road works are allowed to commence at that time so YABU and really sound very precious about your 19yr old adult son who is getting 8hrs of sleep anyway.

Please teach him how to adjust his own life to accommodate his wants over reinforcing the idea he is entitled to request other people to change their reasonable behaviors, it will serve him better in the long run.

Can appreciate your son working hard OP but 8am isn’t early and is quite reasonable if you think reasonable for garden play is 9am then they might have been up for 4 hours by then already!! Give the parents a break.

I feel your pain @FooFightersFan -the DC in the garden that backs onto mine are out as early as 6:30. Every day.
It seems the parents just open the door and out they go-no parents out with them. And they scream and thud and are so so so loud.

And they are annoyed with me if I don't throw the balls back quickly enough.

Do I ever say anything? No. Do I quietly fume? Yes. 😂

@FooFightersFan At least one neighbour in my new build estate has decided to strim their lawn at half 6 or 7 every morning this week, 8am sounds very considerate.

Earplugs.

I used to work late and was woken up by noisy motorbikes around 6/7/8am. I couldn’t ask them not to use the road and you can’t ask your neighbours not to use their garden. Earplugs is an easy fix.

8am in fine. Builders are allowed to start work at 8am in residential areas so I would be happy with kids playing rather than drills and hammers at that time. It’s for a few weeks come September it will be back to normal so no I would not say anything to the neighbours.

Sorry but I used to work night shifts and I have to say 8am isn't early.
If it's too early for your son then he needs ear plugs.
You're both being a bit precious.

I agree. 9am outside was always our rule and is our grandchild’s now.

Our neighbours kids are out on the trampoline at 7 🤪

You can get really good ear plugs these days, doesn't just have to be the foam things. Look into Loop ear buds. I'm sure there are other brands out there as well for sleeping comfortably.

Peter Kay did a hilarious sketch about that.

Phone rings at 8.55pm = "Hello? Oh hi, how are you?"

Phone rings at 9.05pm = << Cautious whispering >> "Hello???? Who IS this???"

😂