Neighbours kids playing outside early…

[FooFightersFan]

It’s the school holidays and I appreciate that by starting this thread I’m going to sound like a right grump, but here goes…

Our garden backs onto two houses, both of which are owned by couples with young kids. All four parents work from home full time.

The kids (youngest 3, all primary school aged) regularly play outside in the gardens. The houses are new build with literally no plants or shrubs. Just lawn surrounded by fence / brick walls. The noise just bounces around as there is nothing to ‘absorb’ it.

I accept that they are noisy when they play because they are young, energetic and kids!

Now that the school summer holidays are well under way, it’s become apparent that getting up and out into the garden at 8am is their routine. And they shout. A lot.
Then at 10am they go inside and there is silence for a while.

I can deal with it, I have 2 kids and I appreciate that’s what kids are like.

and here’s the “but”…

My son works full time and his room overlooks our back garden. He works 12 hour shifts a lot of days, in hospitality. Most shifts mean he is home around 11pm and in bed by midnight. He’s getting increasingly fed up with the neighbour kids’ morning routine.

During term time, the outside playing is just at the weekend. But now it’s a daily occurrence due to the holidays, I really feel for my son, because being woken up 90 mins before he needs to be up for his next shift is pretty miserable.

WIBU to message or pop round to my neighbours and see if they can encourage their kids to be quieter (a big ask) or to not let them out before 9:00.

I’ve become that grumpy neighbour 😩

This reminds me of a conversation with my 3yo at 6:15 the other week:

DC: 'Can I play outside?'
Me: 'No, it's too early - you'll wake the neighbours'
DC (after a brief pause): 'But I want to wake the neighbours' 😆

I am up by 8am (usually up between 6.30 and 7.30) but it would still really annoy me if every morning I could hear children screaming that early. It's annoying enough at any time but some peace in the mornings would be nice.

If it were occasional it would not be so bad (still annoying that they let their children scream) but when it is so often it is just rudeness from the neighbours and bad parenting

I used to make my DC (now adults) come indoors if they start shouting or screaming loudly. No one wants to hear loud crying and whining either. Most of neighbours at that time were elderly. Some parents aren't bothered however much noise their kids make.

Lots of things are annoying when you've got close neighbours though. Children playing outside in the summer holidays is just inevitable. Children are allowed to play in their own gardens. It isn't all the time because they are usually at school. It's only the first week of the holidays, need to work on your resilience if you're already annoyed.

I was being sarcastic. There's nothing wrong with asking kids not to scream until a bit more of a reasonable hour. Irrelevant that they've been up since 6am.

Hyacinth, I'm surprised at you using such coarse language, dear.

Agree with this.
The kids' parents wouldn't like it if you decided to make loads of noise in the garden at 8/9/10pm on a school night.
It's called consideration for your neighbours.

Yes. Sorry , I see that now!

And agree 😃

Staying with relations I was kept awake until past midnight by the neighbour having a long telephone conversation, by my window, with someone in another time zone. I got up at 6.00 and played a raucous game in the garden with the dog, made a cup of tea and sat by her window talking loudly to my friend in Sydney. The late night chatting didn't happen again.

Hi. I’m back.

So there’s been lots of input from you all. Some in my favour and lots not.

I don’t mollycoddle my son. He is shattered when he comes home at night. But very much still ‘wired’ and therefore takes some time to decompress from a long day. He has something to eat and then goes and gets ready for bed. He’s probably asleep (I’m guessing - I don’t check, honestly! I’m not as smothering as some of you seem to think) sometime after midnight.
I used to work shifts in a pub in my youth and I know I couldn’t just come home and sleep straight away. So to say he’s getting 8 hours sleep is not entirely true. Anyway…

I didn’t get my arse handed to me and then exaggerate my post. Thanks.

Since the spring (unless it’s raining etc) the boy will be in the garden early (according to me).
He will shout for his parents from the garden “Daddy! Daddy! DADDDDDDYYYYY!” until someone responds and comes to see what he wants.

He will throw a tennis ball against the boundary fence repeatedly.

When he is playing with the other neighbours children he is often shouting at them to play how he wants to play.

Now at the weekends I can suck it up. It’s 8am and I don’t have to get up at the weekends. So I can just lie there and grumble and doze for a bit. As can my DH. As can my son. It’s 2 days out of 7.

Now it’s practically every day of the week. For the next few weeks. In the summer. When we sleep with windows open.

Playing outside is great for kids. It wasn’t that long ago that mine were doing that. I’m not that forgetful. But I would go outside and let them know that they needed to turn down the volume if I could hear them shouting or screaming outside. No they were not perfect but I was mindful that we lived surrounded by older neighbours and they’d had their stint of noisy kids with their own.

Also, wanting to help my own child to get decent sleep and rest is still permissible. Even if he is 19. Deemed an adult with an adult job in an industry that is very tiring and at times stressful. Everyone one is entitled to have rest in between work.

So from the more positive responses I’ve received, I will suggest earplugs to my son. I will psych myself up to see if neighbours would mind mentioning to their kids about noise.

I shan’t be putting the house up for sale just yet!

I don't think it's neighbourly for kids to play out loudly before 9am myself. Id have a word with them.

I think on a weekday 8 am is to be expected. Lots of noise is annoying at any time because of course people all have different routines.
Earplugs for your son - good silicone ones - would see to be the answer.

And get some plants and shrubs in!

My garden is full of plants and shrubs and a few trees. It’s THEIR gardens that are bare. Just lawn.
Maybe I can offer them some cuttings from my garden 😆 …which will effective sound absorbers by the time their kids are grown up 😂

Kids aren't entitled to make excessive noise though. That's inconsiderate.

I don't think 8am is early at all for kids to be playing in their garden. I suggest 2 things; firstly ear plugs (the Beary Quiet ones are great). and secondly it's attitude. If he wakes up because he hears them and feels annoyed because of it then he'll stay awake; if kids wake me up I tell myself it is nice to hear kids being kids and playing and I drift back to sleep. I do regularly get woken up by the children next door but it's nice they are having fun. Obviously if they are screaming it's different, but if it's "happy noise" I think no issue.

If you get home at midnight after a 12 hour shift you may not be able to sleep immediately. Wind down time will be needed.

Keep a log and report to the council if it is actually "excessive". Otherwise, kids are absolutely entitled to play outside after 8am.

Children playing is one thing, children screaming and screeching is another.

I didn't say I was annoyed. I said I would be annoyed if I could hear screaming every morning from 8am.

I sleep at the front so, thankfully, can't hear the screeching girl next door. I can't hear her in my living room either. I can only hear her in my kitchen or if I sit in my garden which I don't tend to do because I not only have to listen to her screeching literally non stop but also her mum talking/shouting at the top of her voice, the dogs barking, mum shouting at the dogs to shut up etc etc.

I do think you are being very unreasonable. I have worked in hospitality and understand that it’s very long and unsociable hours, however, to moan about children playing at an hour which isn’t that early is ridiculous.
you say they are shouting but we don’t know if that’s true.
Your son is getting the recommend minimum amount of sleep even if he was to fall asleep at 1am.
You live amongst other families, therefore what do you expect? You don’t seem to grasp the fact that your son is working hours ‘not the norm’ so why should everyone pander to his wishes?
you mention you sleep with the windows open in the summer therefore you are bound to hear more noise.
i think it’s a really bad idea to go and ask them to keep their kids quiet, either they will turn on you or they will feel constant worry about any noise their children make and therefore won’t be able to enjoy their home as they have a right to.
its a good lesson for your son to realise that the world doesn’t revolve around him

They are kids 🙄

I don't think thst is under dispute is it?

The point is kids should be able to play in their garden without disturbing neighbours. If neighbours are disturbed they are being too noisy. It s very simple.

Op you could just have a loud garden party complete with fireworks at their darlings bedtime and see how that goes down.

@annamilo 😂
I say that they are shouting but you don’t know if that’s true?
You say you worked in hospitality but we don’t know if that’s true!
🤡

its a good lesson for your son to realise that the world doesn’t revolve around him

@annamilo that's quite a useful life skill for children to learn, too.

@sixtyten absolutely 👍🏼

I have two close neighbours with young children. One family the children scream all the time they’re out, awful. The other family’s children play nicely, with normal child noise, it’s lovely. They also went right up in my estimation as the wee girl got a trampoline for her birthday: she and her brother were out bouncing on it at 7, but with no noise other than the slight squeak 😂