Sick of days being so disjointed

[bojoscomb]

Tips on how to manage this over the holidays please.
Basically I have a toddler whose routine is taking over our days.
Typical day looks like this:
Toddler co sleeps with me but wakes up at the arse crack of dawn so dh usually gets up with her and I get up around 7 on a work day and maybe 8 at the weekend/holidays.
By about 10am dd is knackered and needs a nap but will only nap in her bed so there's very little time between me getting up and nap time to do much. Sometimes we manage a quick walk or morning park trip.
While she's napping I'll have a bath and get ready for the day.
She'll get up around 12 and then has lunch so realistically it's close to 1pm before we can even get out anywhere.
I have older dc and during the holidays they are going to be waiting around until afternoon before we can go anywhere in this current routine.
Don't get me wrong, it works for me during term time but it's really not ideal. I know she'll be dropping the nap soon but really not sure how to navigate the holidays other than sticking her in the car at nap time and hoping she'll sleep. However if she doesn't or if she doesn't have long enough we'll be in for a day of misery anyway.
Are all people totally governed by their toddlers like this?

Yes. It's knackering, boring and frustrating.

But the good news is that it does get better.

Sorry about that, it doesn't seem fair on the older children so I personally would not make everyone's life revolve around the toddler's routine every day. That may slso make them resent their dibling. Maybe have a few quiet days at home so toddler can nap but other days organise things for the others and toddler has to tag along and sleep whenever? Maybe prioritise a different family member's preference on a rota (including the adults!)? Good luck!

Yes, it was like this with my 2, it was really hard to get out but honestly your elder ones won't mind if you don't go out,just want time with mum 💗 get on good old amazon and get some bits to do at home, garden games, play doh, build a forte, get dd to help you sort socks and towels. bit of garden camping, water fights. Got any friends you could send them out with? I would have been irittated by the response I just gave to you but honestly it'll only be for this summer and the days will fly by. Next summer will be a breeze and you can look forward to long days out with them all. Its not that your totally governed by them, at the moment you are the centre of their universe, again very irritating response and prob not very helpful in this moment but before you know it they'll be self sufficient and you'll look back fondly at when your summer was like this, again I know a very irritating response...

She just won't sleep on the go. Never has. And when I've tried it or hoped she'd sleep in the car she just gets grizzly and ruins the day out anyway.
We have the same scenario in the evenings. Once she's had her evening meal we have an hour or so of just waiting about until she goes to bed. In term time one of us is usually running the older dc about at the time to clubs or whatever but I just get really irritable during this 'non time' where we don't have the time to do anything but the hour just seems to stretch out with nothing to do.
Now the weather has picked up at least we can spend this time in the garden I guess.
It's just stressful how her routine (which admittedly I've become rigid with because it benefits us in some ways) is dictating everything. But I know it won't last forever, guess I just need to stick it out for now.

How old is the toddler? A 2 hour nap seems alot at 10am.

It's probably because she gets up at about 5am and is exhausted 😩

I have a very similar set up, same with husband getting up and me back to sleep until 7 or 8. 2 older children. I’m loving this week! We have all had lazy mornings and then headed out after lunch. Plenty of the day still to do stuff, we have had a picnic or chips in the park for tea and not needed to rush back until after 6pm.
do your older ones not fancy doing some craft, games, garden time at home when the weather is nice?

Editing as I didn’t mean to sound smug. All 3 of mine are fairly high emotional needs children so I guess I’ve just been surprised that it’s been so nice as I’ve been totally dreading the summer hols. It will be nice when we can do bigger trips out, but those days will come soon enough. My littlest will sleep on the go but I find the nap time essential to do housework.

I don’t think it’s really being governed by toddlers. Toddlers are more higher needs in terms of their structure and routine, bedtime etc.
But there are two parents, one can take the older kids out on the weekend or one can be at home during the week and the other can do a later activity with the kids.

Agree with this. She will have to nap in the pushchair. Totally unfair to the older kids to have their summer holiday ruined.

Shower the night before and dress as soon as you get up? We have the same pattern but I find the key is to all get dressed before we go down for breakfast. Then straight out the door once eaten and teeth brushed

Do at home activities in the morning like:

baking
colouring
crafts
puzzles
a movie
general toy play

then in the afternoon make sure you leave the house to break up the day for things like:

Library visits
park trips
swimming
soft play

@otravezempezamos it's easy to say that but when she physically won't nap in the pushchair it ends up ruining the day anyway.

This week the older dc haven't minded lazy mornings, we've had good weather so they've been in the garden and occupying themselves in the house with no issues, it's actually nice for them to have some downtime. But I can see it wearing thin after 6 weeks.

You need to limit it to half an hour, then a nap at 12.30 - 2, then bed at 7 but if over 18m should be dropping the first nap

Do you think she might sleep in until later if she drops one nap?

When dd was 5 and ds was a baby, we mostly did things in the afternoon, after he’d had a nap.

Alot of it involved a picnic lunch as I recall. I think a lot of the fellow mums of 5 yos were up for this too!

How old is the “older” dc? Makes a difference if they are still relatively tiny like my dd was (5) or they’re 12 or something (assuming if older than that they’d just do their thing)