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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For being annoyed at my friends and for dropping out?

5 replies

laura6767 · 25/07/2024 22:27

Myself and two girlfriends arranged a night out for the three us a few weeks ago. The night out is planned for this Saturday coming. One of the friends is in an on again off again relationship and myself and the third girl are dating.
Earlier this week my friend asked if she could bring the guy she is dating. I thought this was strange as it’s only their third date and he might feel uncomfortable him and 3 girls (two of which he has never met before). Anyway I the other girl said yes as I felt like I couldn’t really say I’d rather it just be us girls. Plus I thought well at least I have the third girl to pair up with/chat to. Now the girl with the on again off again boyfriend is inviting him as well!
They suggested I invite the guy I’m dating however I recently told them I was having doubts and would probably end things with him. So i don’t really want to invite him and I think they must know that given what I’ve said.
I don’t want to go on the night out and be the fith wheel. Am I justified in not going or am I overreacting? I’ve been the third / fith wheel before and it’s horrible. I’m also kind of annoyed at them for putting me in this position.
I don’t want to make a drama about it, I could just say I’m feeling ill and can’t make it. But they would suspect my reasons. I’m really disappointed as we’ve had this in the diary for ages and we don’t get to do nights out together very often! Why are some women just so obsessed with men that they will put any guy above anything/anyone else!

OP posts:
cupcaske123 · 25/07/2024 22:32

I would drop out and make it clear next time it's a girls night out.

Ponderingwindow · 25/07/2024 22:32

Could you draw a diagram? Having trouble following that.

tennesseewhiskey1 · 25/07/2024 22:33

I think you should have just been honest with them at the start - if they are you friends, why didn't you just say you would have preferred and all girls night? Its a bit late now and your thinking about lying - dont, just be honest.

otravezempezamos · 25/07/2024 22:35

I’m with you OP. I hate this ‘the more the merrier’ approach. I prefer to go out with MY friends. I’d send a cheery message and say I’ll sit this one out. Fancied a girls night tbh. Hope to meet soon.

KrisAkabusi · 25/07/2024 23:08

I felt like I couldn’t really say I’d rather it just be us girls.

Yes you could have! Yet another example where all the drama could be solved if people were just prepared to have a conversation. Instead of being honest, you're now thinking of pretending to be ill and not seing your friends at all.

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