Leak of private info

[Anon4once]

If you trusted a friend with sensitive information that she was careless with and it got out and back to other people.
How would you feel?
I shouldn't have said/typed it but I thought it was going no further.

Should I have said nothing or is it ok to say things you shouldn't and trust it goes no further?

I'm not sure how to feel.

It's tough - I think whilst we would hope that information shared that was sensitive would be kept quiet by the other person, I stick to the rules of not sharing anything I wouldn't be happy for everyone to know. Honestly once you've told someone information it's out of your hands and control, what happens is unfortunately up to them.

I'm confused with your phrasing of "got back to other people" - did you share sensitive information about other people? If so your friend might have thought they should know that.

Careless how?
What kind of information?
Did she know it was private?

Those three things would probably change my response.

It depends what information it was. If you or someone else was at risk of harm sharing such information would be justifiable.

It was my own information that she was careless with and someone else got it.

I would ask her what the fuck she was up to telling people something she was told to keep private.

What kind of information, OP is afraid of dogs is very different to OP is having an affair, is pregnant and her husband doesn't know the baby isn't is, in terms of overall impact.

My friend did this

Actually two of them

When I fled d v I confided in two of them

One told all my friends the details

One told all our colleagues

Was fuming as I was deeply ashamed and had not told my family the full details
So my colleagues knew twice as much as my siblings did

Never forgave them or

Should I have said nothing or is it ok to say things you shouldn't and trust it goes no further?

I won't say anything to anyone who isn't directly involved with the information I know, which 99% of the time, means they know already.

I'm not a particularly trusting person of others and it means I don't have to worry about people opening their mouths, when they shouldn't.

I'd be annoyed with the friend but also with myself. She wouldn't get the chance to do it again.

Once you’ve told someone, then it’s out there.

I don’t think you can ever trust anyone 100 percent not to repeat something.

Family member A was told by family member B of B’s medical diagnosis recently in strict confidence.

Family member A blabbed to DH and I less than two hours after being told under the guise of asking DH about some medical investigation.

‘A’ also told another family member C and C then told two more people. It turned out that about 8 of us knew of B’s terminal diagnosis before B’s own adult children did.

Trust no one.

Once you pass a secret on to someone else, you have lost control.If you are a loose lips you cannot expect those you tell to be any better

If you want it secret, tell no one. No one is totally trustworthy especially after a few drinks.

Two people can keep a secret. If one of them is dead.

She didn't intentionally pass it on.
I don't want to say too much in case anyone recognised the situation

How do you not intentionally pass info on?

Like I say, I don't want to say too much. It wasn't verbally passed on...
That's not the issue.
The issue I have is, she should have been more careful with things she was informed of.