Bad vibes in friendships

[ivise]

Long story short . How would u act towards friendships in your family or anyone who always seems to suggest to meet up but never actually plans on doing anything ,just waits for you to invite them.
Recently I have replied with same message back like saying yes let's meet up, we should meet but never suggest on doing something because I am tired of always be the one inviting to my house and making dinners and what not . Not because I don't want but I want to be invited too or we both decide on plans( involves kids who loves playing together ). I feel bad because I want kids to play but should be both way thing surely .

No, it doesn’t go both ways. In an ideal world yes, but some people are better than others at nurturing relationships. If however, you no longer find this rewarding then don’t do it.

Keep on doing what you're doing OP. Basically they want you to host. Cheeky

You could suggest meeting up at a park equidistant and you each bring your own picnic.

Do not let them use you

It's not like I mind hosting or inviting to my house but it's always nice someone else sometimes do it , especially when kids are involved,it's nice for them to see someone is making effort . I don't like the feeling being asked to meet and then if I don't make plans it's like we just going to keep on going in circles 😁

So many people do this, I cannot understand why. I understand being busy or distracted or whatever, but send an occasional message to keep the trail going, it takes about 10 seconds. What really upsets me is if I don't make the effort then the communication falls away, I have lost friends over this, they would much rather never see me again than send a bloody text message.

If someone doesn't want to spend time with you why not say no and be honest. What I get is 'Yeah I'd love to meet up! When suits you?' followed by me saying I could do next Thurs, Fri etc, followed by 'sorry I'm busy those times', followed by me suggesting maybe they tell me when they are free and I'll work around it, followed by silence for 4 months until I start the process again. And sometimes I no longer start the process, in which case they will say we drifted apart when that is very much not the case. As the years go on I'm less inclined to chase people and be made a fool of again.

@Twistybranch I get that , but how is relationships between two people work when one person is always the one making plans. What if they stop or can't . Means you not going to see them anymore ? I dont mean in a way u do than I do ,no but what if I really couldn't do this time than what ? Means I am only going to see them if I make plans.

Just say "why don't I come over to yours this time"