Dishonest sibling is executor in DM's will

[popthepopcorns]

Another inheritance one:

My elderly DM (94) named one of my siblings as her sole executor in her will when it was written several years ago because my sibling worked in finance. Her will divides everything evenly, but there are complicating factors (family trusts, and properties to be distributed with equalizing payments to reflect different values). It turns out the sibling appointed as DM's executor is very devious and dishonest. I don't want to give any outing details but I have recently discovered they have behaved dishonestly over many years on a personal, financial, and legal level. DM is mostly oblivious. Does anyone have any experience of similar? Would you say anything or just leave things as they are?

Have you spoken to your DM, does she know about her devious child?

If DM is alive and you are worried that devious sibling will be ripping you all off speak to DM with the actual proof that sibling has been dishonest and tell her your concerns.

This one’s a beast cos it’s the police when they start snaffling. Always great for family relations.

Suggest a solicitor is co-executor.

That would be my preference.

I've avoided telling DM the details because it would be very upsetting for her. She worries a lot already about all sorts of things and it affects her sleep etc.

I've tried suggesting that my sibling isn't very transparent/ communicative, but she defends them. Outlining the specifics would feel a bit cruel.

https://www.human-law.co.uk/_cmroot/human-law.co.uk/blog/2014/03/how-to-deal-with-the-executor-from-hell.aspx#:~:text=A%20(relatively)%20quick%20way%20to,form%20supported%20by%20an%20affidavit.

Worth a read.

If your mother is likely to become defensive of your sibling if you bring his/her misdeeds to light, you could approach her with the suggestion of appointing a different, neutral executor that not only has experience in probate, but isn’t going to be impacted by dealing with the estate whilst also grieving. A solicitor would fit the bill.

Thanks. I wonder how rare those Section 50 Applications are, and how often they are granted?

I can well imagine it coming to that in this case, unfortunately.

yep it’s a beast as pp said.

going through it at the minute. Dishonest sibling as executor. Hasn’t even applied for probate, has cleared out every account.

massive issue is if they’re sole executor only they can see the accounts. To get it investigated by police or probate office you need to show misconduct, which you can’t if you don’t have the accounts.

to get the accounts it takes a court order, which is £££££££ most people don’t have.

I think you need to play on the emotional element here OP. Try discussing with your Mum how much of a burden being sole executor will be on your DB, how time consuming, stressful ,and complex at a time when he should be grieving. Perhaps hint at how it may impact his family and own work life, and how much better it would be to share the load with a safe pair of hands such as a solicitor experienced in probate. You could even invent a freind who had been driven to the edge of a breakdown dealing with a similarly complex probate for a parent. And it is hard - as sole executrix for my mothers very simple estate I can confirm that .

I will try that, but I imagine DM will then want to discuss it with the sibling, who will likely do everything they can to dissuade her. There is a lot of money at stake and my sibling is very goal-oriented.

Sorry you are going through this, hope you are able to resolve the situation.

ask to share the load with sibling as you will both be grieving. Get your parent to spend their money now and enjoy life

If they have been dishonest legally, have you reported them to the police? Or their professional regulatory body?

This

Well if you have information that proves dishonesty you can challenge the executor via a solicitor stating your concerns. You as a beneficiary of the will you are entitled to have site of all documents. You can ask for copies of all documents and ask questions during probate and after. The executor is entitled to be paid reasonable expenses for the work they carry out.

@popthepopcorns a better tack maybe asking your DM to add you as an Executor. This could be done as a codicil. If not you then a solicitor. Play it as it’s too much for one person given the complex situation.

In the meantime subtly gather evidence of your DMs property and investments.

There are also two free things you can do WRT properties. Not perfect but helpful.

1. Sign up for property alerts https://www.gov.uk/guidance/property-alert
2. Try to convince your DM to add your email address to the property register. Do it from a helpful fraud prevention approach. You can have up to 3 addresses and an email address means any notifications go to all 3 addresses. This alerts you to any loans etc secured against the property. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/updating-registered-owners-contact-address