Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry at partner?

42 replies

righsaidlead · 25/07/2024 08:22

My partners dad lives down south
He is in the area on holiday
Last week he said he would visit today to see partner.
All week I have said to him to text his dad and ask what the plan is.
What time he is coming etc
My partner has a hospital apt at 2 ,so I said ask him to meet you after your appointment.

His dad rang last night and he said to him
"Yeah I'm at hospital at 2 ,if you want to come over first or meet me after ,up to you"
His dad said il come over before.

Partner didn't ask for a time
Or if he wanted to grab lunch before

So this morning I'm up but have to pop out
I have repeatedly asked him to text his dad and ask for a time he is coming.
He refuses saying "he will come when he is ready "

I say "do I need to buy something for lunch "
He says "don't know ,dad might want to go out "
So I ask him to text him again ...
No he will just come over

Aibu to be pissed off ?
1.he should of said after 2 In the first place
2.have common sense to be a adult and ask a Time

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 25/07/2024 08:24

Just do whatever you had planned and let your partner sort out any arrangements.
If you want you could make sure there are things in to make a sarnie but I am sure your partner could handle that as well.
I don't know why you need to be as involved

Appledoughnut · 25/07/2024 08:24

Buy yourself lunch and leave them to it.

politicalintrigue · 25/07/2024 08:25

back off op

this is father and son

presumably they know how their relationship works

you sound utterly obsessed with this meet up

back. off

Aussieland · 25/07/2024 08:26

Also confused as to why you are getting involved. Leave them to it. If they want food I am sure as 2 adults they will be able to locate some

Spirallingdownwards · 25/07/2024 08:26

Or just relax and not worry about it. He is coming over beforehand. And your DH is relaxed about it and can sort something to eat out whether they pop out as he says or he nips to buy some stuff to make sandwiches.

If you are really that bothered buy sandwich stuff but don't get cross if they decide to go out anyway.

Not sure why all the fuss. He is coming before.

MyKidsAreTooNoisy · 25/07/2024 08:27

Neither of them seem that bothered so why are you getting so involved and het up. Like what everyone else says.

HoppingPavlova · 25/07/2024 08:27

Presumably they are two grown men who have spent a good deal of time together over the years, and can sort their lunch out together? Why are you involved?

Original poster
righsaidlead · 25/07/2024 08:28

@politicalintrigue utterly obsessed with this meet up ? Get a grip
My partner told me to take the day off work because his dad wanted me to be here
Surely I should know what the plan is

OP posts:
cupcaske123 · 25/07/2024 08:28

Why are you so involved? He's a grown man and he can take care of his father. He can surely make a sandwich or take him out if there's nothing in the house. They have phones and can talk to each other to sort out plans.

Macaroni46 · 25/07/2024 08:29

I've your post several times. I don't see what the problem is? Just leave them to it? Some people like to plan whilst others are more go with the flow. Your partner's an adult. If they need food they can go to a shop?

politicalintrigue · 25/07/2024 08:29

righsaidlead · 25/07/2024 08:28

@politicalintrigue utterly obsessed with this meet up ? Get a grip
My partner told me to take the day off work because his dad wanted me to be here
Surely I should know what the plan is

re read your OP

how many times have you. badgered him to get a time?! 😆

oh and starting a mumsnet thread about it!

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 25/07/2024 08:29

Not sure why you care. Stop micromanaging two adults and go about your day.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 25/07/2024 08:30

I think yabu...not for wanting to know what's going on but for facilitating his dithering...it sounds like if his dad was coming over while he had the appointment you'd have fixed it by being in. And if his dad was here for lunch, you're planning on fixing it by getting lunch in. Why? He doesn't tell you whats going on, you just make plans to suit yourself and do your own thing. So if he is not getting organised I'm not sure why you're getting so involved in his plans. He wants to see his dad for a couple of hours and be flexible over timings...no need for a load of questions and reminders

politicalintrigue · 25/07/2024 08:30

All week I have said to him to text his dad and ask what the plan is.

i have repeatedly asked him to text his dad

Yup. obsessed!

FloordrobeIsGoingToGetME · 25/07/2024 08:31

I'm a planner too, OP.

I don't like loose arrangements so this would irk me as well.

I'm presuming that your partner is pretty relaxed about arrangements in general?

I guess you're going to have to find a balance or you're in for a stressful life!

politicalintrigue · 25/07/2024 08:31

Get a grip

love it! 😆

Original poster
righsaidlead · 25/07/2024 08:32

He asked me to take the day off work especially
At first he said we will go for tea after my appointment.
Then he said he wasn't sure
I said well il just go to work
He said no you have to be here

So surely I should have a idea if I need to get ready to go out somewhere nice or if he is just popping for a cuppa
If it's the later -I've just lost a days pay for nothing

OP posts:
Stressybetty · 25/07/2024 08:33

Yeah this would annoy me too, him potentially appearing any time. I'd have been up early just in case etc. But really if you need to pop out just do it and grab some sandwich stuff while you're out.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 25/07/2024 08:33

I've just seen your update. That makes a bit of a difference. Your partner 'told' (not asked??) you to take the day off work...to see his dad for an unspecified amount of time, and you might or might not be going out for lunch...yes that's a bit annoying

politicalintrigue · 25/07/2024 08:33

righsaidlead · 25/07/2024 08:32

He asked me to take the day off work especially
At first he said we will go for tea after my appointment.
Then he said he wasn't sure
I said well il just go to work
He said no you have to be here

So surely I should have a idea if I need to get ready to go out somewhere nice or if he is just popping for a cuppa
If it's the later -I've just lost a days pay for nothing

💧

Original poster
righsaidlead · 25/07/2024 08:33

The house is a mess
My partner has been off work all week and done nothing
So this morning I have to clean everything before the dad gets here
So I'm stressed

OP posts:
pictoosh · 25/07/2024 08:34

I'm with the rest...let them organise themselves. You have broached it repeatedly and been waved away...so take it for what it is and go with the flow.

IncognitoUsername · 25/07/2024 08:34

I would be cross if I’d taken a day off but didn’t have a plan. How long is Dad going to be there and how difficult was it for you to take the day off? (This may be me projecting as it’s very difficult for me to take a day off on a whim in my job)

cupcaske123 · 25/07/2024 08:34

righsaidlead · 25/07/2024 08:28

@politicalintrigue utterly obsessed with this meet up ? Get a grip
My partner told me to take the day off work because his dad wanted me to be here
Surely I should know what the plan is

Well you know he'll be there before the hospital appointment at two. Are you planning a welcoming parade that needs to be organised?

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 25/07/2024 08:34

I think I'd be making arrangements to go into work a bit late to be honest, unless his dad is ill or lives ages away and you barely see him, I wouldn't be taking the day off to have a sandwich with anyone

Swipe left for the next trending thread