I found myself switching onto a new phone this evening, and felt curious to read back to my earliest messages from my ex of 4 years ago, which seems an age ago now.
The reason I did this, is that I am now again just on the point of dating someone new again who is an almost identical persona of my ex in a lot of ways.
I have just counted through the first ten text messages of my ex, and 2 of them are lies, just small lies, so small they never registered with me, even with the passing of time as the relationship progress. Let’s say that he had said he was growing sunflowers and dahlias in his garden as an example.
The lies were about seasonal vegetation growing in his back garden.
I never grew seasonal veg, so I was none the wiser back then!
I have only just noticed that discrepancy this evening, reading back.
Anyway. his main problem which had caused lots of issues in the relationship that finally caused it to all to end, had nothing to do with compulsive lying…
but now I think it was an early red flag to that I missed, which I maybe should be paying far more closer attention to now.
How common is it for people to tell outright fabrications in the first ten text messages when getting to know someone, especially if it turns out as such you end up being together for years, and you only spot the inconsistency well after the end of the relationship?
I’m not talking about scammers or playboys or what have you, because that’s not what happened… I’m only wanting to find out her how often people here expect it’s okay to lie in the earliest text messages?
My reason for asking is the meeting of someone here who seems to be extremely similar to my ex, and I’m thinking what percentage of this coming to know each other period I should consider lies?
How much of a lie is acceptable or normal to tel as you’re first getting to know someone? And most importantly, now much does the lie you tell reveal about yourself?
*Certain details were changed to preserve anonymity