Sharing food/utensils

[Maloneyb]

My in-laws completely disregard our boundaries - it’s about them this post, so turn away if the inlaw posts annoy you..!

I have a whole history with my in-laws where they purposely push and disrespect our boundaries.
One I’ve tried so hard to be firm on is sharing food/utensils/saliva covered stuff with my toddler.

the last few times we’ve seen them they’ve eaten an ice cream or ice lolly.. got their whole mouth or tongue on it and proceeded to feed my child. To which I’ve had to kick my dh to make the point. It makes me so mad!! We’ve told them so many times!

then they go and use their spoons - which they lick to “clean” (the irony) to feed my child something else! And again having to say use a different spoon.

We’ve explained so many times that we don’t like it, don’t want him getting sick etc.
they get upset and moody.
now they’re not talking to us.

we have a raft of problems but this seems to really be at the forefront at the moment. I just want to know if I’m being unreasonable? I don’t want my child getting sick nor sharing anyone’s stuff in this way!

if you think I’m being unreasonable pls explain so I can understand but honestly, I can’t get my head around the sheer disrespect of our boundaries.

How olds the kid? Because honestly, shared cutlery from family is the least of it when it comes to what and how they’ll catch stuff.

it’s your kid, but it’s way too uptight from my perspective. I’d probably begrudgingly do it l, at least when you’re around, but be rolling my eyes behind your back though …

It just wouldn’t bother me. Your kid will be licking pavements and the like.

I mean, if it pisses you off, then they shouldn’t do it but really, they think you’re being a bit bonkers about this and I can see why.

No it would never bother me if dgp shared an ice cream with dc. I would not want them to use dirty cutlery but would be happy for them to share a spoon or give dc a taste of food from their spoon. Are there bigger issues you have with them?

You lost me at 'boundaries' but no this would not actually bother me

I think you’re being OTT; it’s family and it’s probably more a risk to the in laws they’d catch something from your kid! Honestly you have to pick your battles. Appreciate they have a good relationship with their grand child

Going against the others above me... I'm with you OP.

I disagree with the above. Yes, they may be licking pavements, etc, but you still have the right to protect them as much as possible. They could have diseases, say mouth ulcers, which could so easily be passed on.

This is your boundary, and you need to be firm. Simply say you're uncomfortable with them doing this, you've told them not to, and they're still doing it, so they're not to feed your child.

They can huff all they want. I actually shuddered when reading the above posts, I'm extremely hygienic, this would bother me too.

You are not being unreasonable, I completely agree with you. Once my MIL got a 99 ice cream licked it all over and then tried to pass it over to my one year old! Not happening on my watch, and I'd say the same if my mum had done it.

@C1N1C mouth ulcers aren't contagious

Not hygienic, not nice and bad manners. What's wrong with everyone minding their own ice cream and using clean spoons for shared foods?!

You're right, I wrote that as I woke up. I meant cold sores

It's gross. Shouldn't you avoid sharing saliva with young babies/children as it interferes with their own bacteria? My fil used to try and do stuff like this to ds. His breath honks and he never brushes his teeth. Still offers us water from his bottle too 🤮