To not invite colleague?

[BradleyJekins]

I work in a mid sized team of 20 which is fairly evenly split in terms of gender.

I’ve become close with two women and we went out last weekend and a photo was posted. A different colleague then messaged me on Teams so say “why wasn’t I invited?”

I just feel like just because we’re colleagues means I have to spend my free time with her and if it were a team of four then of course I’d never exclude her - but at least 7 others weren’t invited.

Well part of me thinks it's fine, but on the other hand I've worked in a small team and not been invited out with people I thought were friends and it's hurtful. She obviously considers you more friends than you guys do her.

She's NBU to be hurt but it always catches me out when people don't follow the 'normal' rules of social engagement - if you notice you weren't invited when you'd like to be you can't just march up and ask why not!

I have a school mum who does this to me and I have occasionally contemplated being actually honest and saying I don't feel that we are close friends/i don't enjoy her company as I sometimes think, is it kinder to be honest?

But if it was me I would never in a million years ask! Some people you click with, some you don't. That's just human relationships.

There were no men invited (from the 10 men in the team) and 7 women who weren't invited either. 17 weren't invited, only 3 women went out