DS taking ages to fall asleep

[Wagamamaislife]

AIBU for getting annoyed that DS 6 can take ages to fall asleep? He is generally tired after a busy day, but can often take up to an hour (sometimes more) to sleep. He doesn’t get out of bed which I know is good but instead he tosses and turns for ages, kicking covers off and generally just seems to struggle to switch off. He’s always been a good sleeper so not sure why this change has happened. My husband thinks IABVU because he’s not being particularly naughty and getting out of bed etc and that it’s not his fault (I agree to some extent) but I know he’ll be an arse tomorrow when he hasn’t had enough sleep. I can almost guarentee I’ll need to wake him in the morning. Usually once he’s asleep he’s asleep, occasionally getting up for a wee but not usually. Do I just need to accept this is how he is? I would say he still gets at least 10
hours a night, usually around 11. Feel free to tell me to give my head a wobble

How do you know he's tossing and turning in bed?
It might take him some time to relax, and since he's not leaving his bedroom I don't think it's an issue really

I don't think taking an hour to get to sleep is that long. I always took far longer (still do), and, as a child, remember hearing my parents coming up to bed just after 11pm and I'd been in bed for ages.

It sounds as though your son has enough sleep so why worry.

I can hear him. Our house isn’t very soundproof at the best of times and his bedroom is directly above our living room

I guess I’m trying to get some perspective. Is this the norm, on the edges of being the norm or very much not the norm? I’m a first time mum so I have no idea! I don’t remember laying in bed awake for ages as a kid but I do know I was quite high energy as a child too so perhaps I did!

My 6 year old DS is usually up in bed by 7.30 reading until 8 and then he'll listen to an audiobook for 15 minutes or so. He goes through phases of faffing for hours which also makes me frustrated, as the same as you OP, he is a nightmare if he misses an hour or 2 of sleep (that being said he is usually awake by 6.30-7 regardless of the time he fell asleep)

Always find the audiobook and then switching it to some relaxing music helps, but one week he goes to bed within minutes the next it's 3 hours of 'mummmmmy' before finally sleeping. No advice but I feel your pain

Is this the norm, on the edges of being the norm or very much not the norm? Completely normal.

I don’t remember laying in bed awake for ages as a kid
1- he's six, you can't remember being six in any detail
2- he's a different person

Ds8 has always been like this. When he was younger he was up and down like a yo-yo but now he simply reads until he falls asleep which tends to be an hour after he goes up no matter what time. Suspect he just needs the time to wind down as he is a very high energy kid anyway.

My ds of a similar age is like this. I just let him read in bed until he falls asleep. If I know he’s tired and I want him asleep quickly then I will lay with him but if he’s clearly bouncy and not ready to sleep then I’ll leave him to it, as it winds me up to be in his room when he won’t sleep.

yes he’ll be tired in the morning but he’ll go to sleep quicker the next night so I think it evens out. He doesn’t go to bed until after 9pm, there is simply no point, he won’t sleep before then.

I have always taken a long time to fall asleep so I sympathise. I have been trying to reach him how to relax himself.

My 5 nearly 6yo can take a while to fall asleep. I don't think it's that unusual. 7:30/8 is his usual bedtime.

I'd love to have your problem. My 5 year old is currently still chatting her face off in her room, despite having been in bed since 8pm!!

I know that an hour isn’t much in the grand scheme of things and I’m aware lots of people have it way way worse. He’s a good boy, he isn’t disruptive to the rest of the family and he is trying to sleep. I just wish I knew how to help him unwind at the end of the day. As I’ve said, it’s not every night and sometimes he does drop off fairly quickly. He is sometimes worse on those nights when I think he must be shattered as he’s been doing lots but often those are the nights that he’s worse. Perhaps overtired? 🤷‍♀️

DD2 was a bit like this. I'd check your bedtime routine to make sure that it is all wind down with no stimulation - so 6.00 pm quiet play no screens, 6.30 tidy up and then upstairs for bath. 7pm in PJs and in bed - read a story. 7.30 lights out. We left a story CD on for her to listen to. She was happy to just lie there and listen until she dropped off. It was usually Roald Dahl so she could recite the words or sometimes Horrible Histories so I felt it was probably doing her some good even if she wasn't sleeping.

Have you tried teaching him to meditate? It's something you could do together to start with, maybe lying alongside him and talking him through it. Have a search online for a guided one suitable for young children that you could do together. Or maybe a calming yoga sequence just before bed?

I agree that he should be settling more quickly and feel he is likely to become agitated himself if he is trying to sleep but not managing to switch off. So many children in school complain about this problem!

Sorry but the "chatting her face off" made me laugh 😂. What time did she stop? I shouldn't laugh really, got a feeling my toddler will be like your DD when he's older😅