to totally ignore DD's opinion on who she wants and doesn't want at her 4th birthday party?

[Twiglett]

yeah thought not

she has decided she wants boy 1, boy 2, boy 3 (great so do I), boy 4 (oh no, no no, no), boy 5 (well mebbe)

doesn't want girl 1, 2, 3 or 4 (all nice)or girl 5 (who lives next door)

and wants a drama teacher who used to come into nursery the term before last to come

so that's decided then we'll have boy 1,2,4 and 5, the girls and next door neighbour

AGREE WITH ME OR LEAVE [GRIN]

he was vetoing lots of perfectly nice people to whom we owed hospitality

lololol

how unreasonable of him Franny! More Debrett's at bedtime I think

Ah, no worries, I'm trying to arrange a breastfeeding one and was going to pick your experienced brain.

Oh btw, on the actual subject of the OP.
I chose DD's party guests.

Kids are terribly fickle at that age. Isn't she likely to change her mind daily until the party. My dd (5) was recently not invited to a little girl's bday party because according to the mother she wasn't on the list of invitees that the little girl presented to her mother. My dd was devasted (essentially every other girl in her kindergarten class and most of the boys were invited). The silliest part is that Dd plays with this girl and they are friends. I am sure that she was not on the list because the little girl forgot. And the mother didn't do any editing. Now, post party, dd is upset, the little girl is upset because she doesn't understand why dd wasn't invited (told dd that her mummy forgot to give out the invitation). And the stupid mum acosted me in the school yard (because my dd was upset and told her dd so) and yelled at me for inciting my dd to be mean to her dd (none of which took place). All the other mothers have been coming up to me asking why my dd wasn't at the party because they know the two girls are friends. Anyway, whole load of silly unecessary drama because a mother didn't edit her dd's party invitee list. Sooooo, in my opinion and experience you are totally not being unreasonable if you edit the list.

Oh and....my trick is to invite everyone in the class (20). I already have that many relatives and kids who must be invited anyway. And the reality is that I have never had more than 10 and sometimes as few as 5 of the 20 invitees show up.

you know with DS I felt I had to invite the whole class and did

but I don't care so much with DD .. I think I was more concerned with what other parents might think of me if I didn't invite everyone and also think I was on a mission to prove I could do it

am now pondering limiting it to a few friends .. say 5 maximum?

Already have one LL

Twiglett, you're the boss, how many kids do you want there?
Would it be easier to have a smaller party and fewer children or have a larger party with your selection plus the little bleeders you'd prefer not to invite?

With DD I used 'Hmm, we only have enough room for X children so I think it's only fair you invite as you went to their party rather than who you don't mention to me much anyway so though you may be close to them today you might not still be friends with them next week'

oh crap, i have to throw 2 parties this summer. a 5th party in june and a 4th in july.
o
m
g
could i feel any less enthusiastic??
doubtful

MotherofUBERboys, combine them, turn it into a family occasion, BBQ, bouncy castle and four friends each.
So much simpler.

Her party, her list - addtions permitted from parents but no deletions.

Yes I do have a 3 year old soon to be 4 and am having the same trauma. It is HER party not yours, is it not?

Els so small and intimate (i.e. 3 friends plus her for tea) or whole class and the issue goes away. It is those pesky 10/15 invites that cause the hassle.

that only counts for first child tbh Gomez

TBH it's going to be a day of parties anyway cos family friends and DS' friend come after school too

spoilt brats that I have

first party twig.
Once you have done one that's it, the rules change.

Ah but this is my second (DD1 will be 8 soon and is having her first SLEEP-OVER, really looking forward to that Friday evening.)

So don't be mean. Said horror boy will not wish to attend stupid girly party anyhoo.

DD is lord of the boys to be fair so he would if invited

that was the plan VS... but they seem to be revolting (in manner of peasents)

i may assert authority and combine anyway.

Well don't let his parents hang about, give him a good bollocking early on and things will be fine.

I would say when they are old enough to pay for, arrange and cater for the party, then it counts as THEIR party

till then they will have to cope with a bit of input from me I'm afraid

dd1 turned 4 last summer and only wanted hordes of boys, fine with me as hired a place for £28 and that was it

this year, as will be 35wks pregnant, paying £10 per child for someone else to do it and she's farking inviting EVERYONE she knows - thats going to be quashed very soon

you choose, next year will be a whole different issue to contend with

she'll be that excited she'll not notice who is and who isn't there tbh

couple of cases bottles of wine in fridge for you at nighttime too

YANBU!
she's 4 and in my book you still get to make ALL the house rules!

Invite the whole class and serve lots of alcohol.

SofiaAmes where the devil have you been?

SofiaAmes - I thought like you that I could invite the whole class (20) and get some rejections. So entire class, two girls opposite & DS all invited (23 children) everybody except one is coming so I will have 22 children there - HELP

yanbu
you have to edit. dd is 13 but sn and I had to edit hers. no way was bad boy comming. so he could do his party trick..hit dd and show his lovely hand signs(ds not impressed) and she would then leave out lovely girl.
good luck on the day.