New here so hope I’ve got the right place…
I'm nearly 50 and have had years of anger towards my very narcissistic father.
I was a Daddy’s girl (not through choice) and after yrs of abuse he inflicted on my mother and various affairs, he finally left when I was 13. Didn’t say goodbye, was just gone when I got home from school.
He was never a particularly nice person but he was my Dad. I hated him for what he did to my Mum and spent my teenage yrs full of resentment. I saw him occasionally but also swore at him and fell out with him often.
Hes always been the most selfish person I’ve ever known. He was horrible to his parents. Has been the worst father to his kids and never ever bothered to even try and be a grandfather to his two grandchildren.
Hes currently on wife no.3. She gave up her life to move to this county and marry him. He’s treated her no better than he’s ever treated anyone. In 2022 she somehow managed to convince him to move to another county a very long way from here. To be honest, I definitely encouraged him to go. As far away as possible suits me and my siblings just fine. However, he now thinks he can use my house as a bed & breakfast when he decides he wants a break back here.
I don’t want him here. I’ve avoided him like the plague the past two times he’s visited as he doesn’t ask in advance. He just rocks up expecting a sofa. Two visits ago I said no he couldn’t stay and he rocked up anyway so I told him I had Covid.
He’s 73, still works full time. Blows every penny along with his pension. Gives his poor sick wife £100 a month to survive on and pleads poverty that he can’t afford to pay for digs.
When I have allowed him to stay, I get no thanks, I have to run around after him, cook for him, take him and collect him from pub and he didn’t even offer to pay for fish n chips. Just claimed my sofa and tv remote and that was that.
He hasn’t bothered with his family ever but now he’s getting old, it’s like he expects us all to be there.
There are many more details that I shan’t bore you all with but I would just like any views on anyone else on same sort of situation and how you deal with it.
Am I being unreasonable to not want him in my life now.
Am I being reasonable that he can’t just expect us to be there now he’s getting old.