Forcing your opinions on others?

[DoYouThink1]

Excuse the title, I couldn't think of any other way to word it.
So I have a close family member who just has very different ways and opinions on how things should be done and I don't know if I am being too sensitive or if this would bother others. In my opinion everyone has different ways of doing things and it doesn't bother me how others do things I am happy doing it the way I want to and that's literally the end of it.
My family member will constantly make negative comments for example I didn't jump up and grab my washing out of the machine the second it finished the other day and she was actually shocked I don't get it out immediately or it will crease. She doesn't like the fact I only iron the kids school uniform and not all their clothes, she doesn't like that I don't separate my whites from lights, I don't clean/wipe over all our shoes after every wear.
She doesn't like my parenting and thinks I should do everything for my kids, which I pretty much do but one is a teen and more than capable of doing chores. I could go on.
The thing is I can't stop her having these opinions but is it not rude to voice them to me all the time? I NEVER comment on the way she does things even when i don't agree. And also it gets me down because as a single mum I feel like I do my very best for my kids, my house is always clean but nothing is ever to her standard even though i don't ask for her opinion!

I have someone in our family like this.

I either ignore her or just say "oh right" and change the subject.

It drives me insane though......but she's OK in most other ways (except she has no "off" switch and doesn't shut up)

My mother is like this.

Never happier than putting her way up and thereby pulling others down. It's tedious. Cannot wrap her little noggin around the fact that others do things differently - and that doesn't make it wrong - just different. .

Can't you just politely tell her you're happy with your way of doing things and suggest it's time to draw a line under the whole subject? Whether you have to say it once or a few times it'll make for a more peaceful life and probably a better relationship in the long run.

I would see her less.

How much is she around you to be commenting every time the washing finishes? Nobody in my family has any idea if or what iron!

Tell her to fuck off and mind her own business

My mother is like this. It’s really controlling. She told me how to drink a cup of tea the other day. Tedious. Just try to ignore them and change the subject

I do things the way I think is best- if I thought someone else’s way was better I would be doing it that way- so clearly I think my way is superior.

But! I don’t care how anyone else does things (unless I see a way I haven’t thought of that is better than my current way in which case I change what I do)

A lot of people feel judged by anyone doing anything differently to how they do it, so she takes out washing asap, sees that you don’t and makes it about her- she projects feelings of judgement from you onto her own behaviour.

It’s a shame for them really, to be so insecure in their own ways of being.

Is it your mum by any chance?

Mums are just like that sometimes. Mine is and it drives me mad but there's nothing I can do other than disown her/ stop visiting which I'm not going to.

You just have to work on your own emotional responses to it and build a kind of barrier so it doesn't bother you so much.

She's round alot! Just pops in as she pleases, I honestly think she can sense when my washing is about to end! Several times she's come round before and commented my washing on the airer is wet and will smell, it's been on the airer about 20 mins and nobody including her has ever said my clothes smell damp and I have asked people before as she makes me paranoid!

Yes it is my mum 😅
I do need to do exactly as you say and I've tried to just say oh ok and try not let it get to me but it is hard.
The other day I got out my garden furniture and to be fair it had been left out a little over winter so it needs a good scrub. She looked at it in pure digest telling me I need to clean it straight away. Which I obviously was planning on doing but it's the way she says it like I wouldn't have thought of it. I don't live up to her standards and she has to remind of that everyday.
She doesn't like my children to be out in my garden with no shoes (it's just grass) if they spill something eg some ketchup on a top she thinks it should be changed straight away, I'm more of a wipe it off and chuck it in the wash at the end of the day person (unless it's a major spillage)

How do you respond to her, OP?

If you're happy with the way you do things, I think the first reply nailed it.

I've got to ask - what way was that? How many ways are there?

I leave the teabag in.

Just tell her that you’re a grown up now, and you’re happy with your own choices.

Tell her to do it.

Complains the washing is finished, fantastic can you hang it out for me.

Complains damp clothes on the airer, o I was just about to turn them, do you mind doing it.

Dirty shoes, if you look in x cupboard you will see a cloth can you just do it.

spillage, your right, grab a new top from their room and pop it on will you.

Dirty furniture, I was going to ask if you’d mind doing I know your better at this stuff than me.

and so on… always do it with a smile and a ahh that will be a great help, thanks mum comment.