Work cf stories. Anyone else work cheeky fuckers?

[PizzaFecker]

Our business has passed an important audit so we ordered dominos for lunch.
Enough dominos pizza to give everyone 1/2 a pizza each and sides and drinks.

Total cost was £450.

One of the senior managers just had to have a word with one of the other senior leadership team that putting 3 entire pizzas, sides and a drink in his car because 'he wanted to take it home for his family and would freeze the leftovers' isn't appropriate when the admin staff haven't even had chance to get any pizza yet.

Our work generally have No issues with people taking leftovers but not when other people haven't even had lunch yet!!

Anyone else work with cheeky bastards?

Someone in my team once asked our manager if we could move our team meeting back an hour, because she was bidding on a Louis Vuitton bag and the auction ended during the original meeting slot. Our manager said no and the colleague scowled and sulked for the rest of the day.

Why is it mostly managers or Snr managers who go in for all this skullduggery? Surely they a)have enough money in any case and b) it hardly holds up in terms of the morals of the company!! Dreadful outright stealing in some instances.

I just remembered one woman I worked with. She’d only been working at the company a year. A manager had brought in a mini food buffet for some reason including those packs of 5 donuts. It was next to me on a separate table. I saw her take one donut and start eating it at the buffet, then take a second back to her desk. 5 minutes later she went to the printer picking up a third donut on the way. Then on the way back pick up the pack which had 2 left and go to her desk scoffing those. She was the laziest lying worker I’ve ever come across. She was a CFer in lots of ways but that one I remember!

You wonder in those situations whether someone knows something and would whistleblow if anything was done about it.

Can you upload them as pdfs with your name watermarked into the corner?

Worked in a school, head teacher, deputy and chair of governors also diverted funds into their own pockets. All resigned and no one was prosecuted

I've mentioned this on here before, but the same happened with the PTA treasurer at a school where my ex worked. What she took amounted to thousands over the year - they never got it back from her - and all that was planned was to keep her well away from the money in future

So imagine my surprise at a later school boot sale, to see her trotting round collecting the pitch fees

My company had arranged free cinema tickets for children in deprived areas. They were sitting in a bundle waiting to be distributed. Big boss (who was making lots of money running his own business on the side) came over and asked what they were. He then made off with some of the tickets.

The worst cf was my ex husband, he started a business up with his friends around their hobby. I spend a lot of time working for it, packaging parcels etc but he would always take them to the post office. I questioned him one day about the costs coming out of our personal account and he told me not to worry as it was just caught up in business expenses and will come back at the end of the year. The end of the year came all post office expenses had been paid into his personal account and all profit was taken in stock for his hobby. This loss wasn’t pennies either.

i hope to get my revenge when i remind him his starting funds came out of the joint account so I'm entitled to half of profit etc through our divorce. I’m also happy to send documents to HMRC as well.

Years ago I booked the travel for our organisation. It was hundreds of thousands as the engineers travelled to Las Vegas, Korea, Bolonga etc.

The hotels they stayed in gave points out if you booked them in there and I was told I couldn't accept them. I was on about a fifth of the managers salary but found he'd been claiming my points, which amounted to cases of wine, weekend luxury hotel stays, free cinema tickets. It was over a thousand pounds worth, and the fucker already over claimed on his expenses.

Bastard

We used to book holiday using a big desk diary. First person would write their name on the top line for the day they wanted, anyone wanting the same day would then write their name on the next free line. When approved, the manager would initial next to each name to confirm. If there were too many names, then the bottom people wouldn't get the day they wanted.

I only had a pencil when I wrote in my name in for a week of holiday. Only one person was allowed off (can't remember why). Cheeky fucker came along behind me and rubbed out my name and wrote hers instead. Confronted her when I found out what she'd done but she denied all knowledge, despite going bright red and looking guilty as hell. Manager said there was nothing she could do (even though she knew CF colleague had form for CFery like this).

I was already fed up but that was the final straw. Found a new job and ended up leaving on the last day I would have worked before that week off.

Reminds me of the thread a little back where greedy fucker went out for a meal with his team and splashed out on wine and steak etc, and expected the bill to be split including some admin staff who only had salads.

OP called him out on it and he got the right hump, was a great read and well done to the OP.

I don’t get the brass neck of some people. I’m the polar opposite. A customer once delivered me a fuck off hamper because I suggested him a solution which saved him thousands. It was addressed to me and me only. I opened it and told everyone to take what they wanted. I actually didn’t see a single item from that hamper 😂 I think they assumed I took first as it was addressed to me

Used to work with someone who grabbed the Christmas chocolates (Quality Street, Roses tins etc) provided by chief exec and some suppliers and fished out every one of the purple caramel ones and stashed them in her drawer. We're talking probably a dozen tins of them that were handed in over the festive period.

One year, someone must have sneaked into her drawer and crushed them all to bits leaving her drawer covered in caramel. We never found out who did that but it was hilarious!

Got made redundant and decided to move to Scotland - hence the name.
Last day I took in loads of Tunnocks items for workmates.
Staff took one each at morning break.
Management took the remainder as refreshments for a meeting.

Gold star for you. Well done on your valuable contribution.

Do you count how many sheets of toilet roll your colleagues use?

Same - is she saying he either used their money to buy them? Or the personal possessions they put in were chocolate biscuits?

To redress the balance from a manager perspective- I had some CF in my teams
One put a case of wine for a customer on his expenses- next joint visit I asked to go to that customer- did not happen again

One needed to travel overseas. He had a company car- he tried to claim taxi to the airport and mileage while he was away as his wife was driving it

One when at a meeting in Germany claimed he had no money and borrowed 50 Euro from me ( this was not in days of yore you could use a cashpoint) then was shocked when in addition to me signing his expenses I wanted the 50 Euro back- I explained I was not his mum.

One decided to shower naked on a beach in Israel- causing me to have to deal with the police- complained that everyone showered naked- not in public unless pissed they don't

one pocket dialled me when going to the cinema with their child during the work day

One assumed because I was booked into the same hotel- by a centralised travel function - it meant I wanted to shag him

Long time ago and I must have been 8 months pregnant. Working a bit late (my official hours were 9.30-5.30) as it was central London in August and the tubes were quieter after 6.30. Thinking of packing up and heading home when one of the senior directors handed me a 50 page contract to fax. His PA had gone home at 5 so he just gave it to me to send instead. The final straw was that, he then buggered off home too.

Now if the CF had asked me nicely and I knew he was beavering away in his office, I’d have been okay about it. It was the fact that he knew it needed faxing that night, but had let his PA leave anyway as he was aware I’d likely still be around, so he just assumed I had nothing better to do after hours than his work. He was an arrogant twat and nobody liked him.

After I saw him swan out of the front door, I promptly burst into (furious) tears and was sobbing angrily, when the Chairman’s chauffeur walked in and found me. He promptly hot-footed it up to Chairman’s office and told her all about it. She called me in, and packed me off home in chauffeur-driven car. I didn’t find out until months later that she rang him at home straightaway, completely bollocked him, reminded him I was v pregnant and and told him that he was NEVER EVER to ask me to do anything for him EVER AGAIN. He didn’t.

p.s. I did happen to be the Chairman’s PA which obviously helped, but actually she would have reacted the same way it he’d done it to someone else.

I've remembered another. I signed off on all the invoices for engineers travel. they were used to travel to and from the airport. The taxi company gave them a receipt to sign for each journey so they weren't out their own money

When the invoice from the taxi company came all the signed dockets were attached and there were about 10 with my signature. They'd been getting taxis to the pub and forging my name.

Again bastards as I couid have got into big trouble, but they didn't realise I got all their receipts to verify.

I was on the school PTA years ago...

After some building work we had to give up our cupboard and share with the art supplies in the staff room. Every fete I would have to replace reusable supplies and our catering size tea/coffee/sugar would always have disappeared. At one point the PTA Chair walked in on a member of staff helping themselves to our flashing deely boppers/rings/glosticks etc that we sold at the discos because they were going on a hen do.

We eventually moved our stuff elsewhere (which we organised and paid for) and the main culprits were livid that only the PTA chair and the school caretaker had access to it.

Most offices count how much photocopying you do. My last office used to send an email round every month to those who had done the most copying, with hints on how to reduce paper use.

She was printing reams of paper every week, not a few pages! She was dismissed soon after for gross misconduct for something unrelated to the printing.

@ShiningforLeeBertie that was my thread 😄 and nothing to report, he hasn’t been out much since (not with my team at all!)

I worked with someone who was always off sick or had some emergency or dire thing happen to him. When he was at work he did fuck all. If you ever asked him a favour, swapping duties, it was always met with a no, sorry he couldn't. Strolled into the office most days at 10am, took his hours lunch, went missing at random times during the day for an hour at a time and promptly left the office at 5pm. No idea how he managed to fit a full working week in.

The role included duty days dealing with emergencies, there were two of us on duty and you were expected to stay online or in the office until the job was done. He was my duty partner and we still had loads of work. He told me towards the end of the day he was heading away for the weekend and needed to log off at 5pm as he had a train to catch. I would have been happy to cover if he was a team player. He stayed online a bit longer than he planned but left me to finish on my own. He texted me later to say he'd missed his train. (Couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke).

I emailed my whole team to ask for office cover for a day as I had plans and was actually scheduled to be in two weeks on the bounce. (Was meant to be one week in and the next at home).

I got a message from him to say sorry he couldn't cover me.

My manager looked at the rota and said 'why are you in the office two weeks in a row' quickly changed this to CF and he was then begging for office cover. He probably thought I had said something, I hadn't but was quite funny.

😂