A public transport one - was I rude?

[ElTortilla]

The bus I get on for a 60 minute commute has three seats facing the side at the front and on the opposite side another facing the side. Then there are rows of two sets of seats either side if an aisle until the back of the bus.

I just got on for the start of my commute and a woman gets on with a small suitcase every weekday. She sat on the first row of two's facing the front across the aisle from where I was sat. I have a valid medical need to sit there. Bus wasn't busy. Lots of seats empty.

The lady with the small suitcase then moved over to sit next to me with the reason that she can then free up the other seats she was on because she needs to sit on the aisle with her case. She doesn't really as there's room infront of the seats to put the case and if she's on the aisle, she can always let someone sit on the window seat. There are also the side seats where she can very easily hold her case in front of her, though I appreciate that not everyone likes to sit there.

I excused myself nicely and told her she can sit there. She was wide hipped as I am and I simply can't sit for all that time squeezed in next to someone. She was clearly offended and at first was hesitant to let me past. When there were loads of free seats for me to escape to, I didn't want to sit squashed in. Also on the spectrum so I hate close contact with other people but being a public transport user I accept this is par for the course.

Was I being unreasonable and rude?

No.
Sit where you like, whether she's 'wide hipped' or not.
I used to move too if someone sat right next to me when there were other seats.

Did you tell her about her hips? I assume not. It's not rude to say excuse me and move on. Do you often overthink things?
Even if it was rude, who cares. The consequence to you is literally zero. So please find a way to move on with your life without second-guessing every move you make.

Not rude or unreasonable, no, but you can appreciate that from her POV, whatever her reason for choosing to sit beside you, it may have seemed you were saying ‘Your fat ass is squashing me’.

No, you can sit where you like and you don't owe anyone an explanation.

I didn't mention her hips. It wasn't just that. If there are places I can sit alone I will.

Perhaps, but was OP just supposed to be umcomfy for the whole journey? There was no reason for the other passenger to sit so close.

No def not rude.

No, I'd have done the same. I hate it when people sit next to me touching when there are free seats elsewhere and would move.

Me too.
Nothing wrong with that at all.

So? That's not OP's problem. People have to take responsibility for their own thoughts. If someone decided to interpret my words and actions a certain way, that's on them.

well it is kind of insulting that you moved, in a pathetic way, she didnt have to sit next to you did she? fair enough you moved

It's also quite odd to sit right next to someone on an otherwise empty bus/train. Maybe she actually wanted that seat and wanted OP to move? 🤔

I think you probably read into her response too much. She may have just been confused - why on earth would someone expect or force someone to sit by them on a bus? I imagine she really couldn’t care less.

Not rude at all. Especially as she had no need to move from where she was to sit by you and there were other empty spaces

No not rude, however please consider the other person. They may be an overthinker who is trying to do the right thing.

Unfortunately public transport is just that public and she can sit wherever she likes

I can understand why she might have taken the move as some form of criticism about her size, or that you thought she smelt. You were reasonable in wanting to move though.

Single seats on public transport where they are provided have their merits.

Of course you're not rude to move to where you want to sit. I'd also be a bit annoyed if someone sat next to me when there are free seats. It's very British to do so!

Not your problem if she was offended.

Not unreasonable OP. You were right to move. She also shouldn’t be putting her suitcase in the aisle and blocking or partially blocking it from access on and off for passengers. So you moving would have allowed her to move to the window seat and free up the aisle. If I’m understanding your post correctly. Although this is an all a bit moot since as you say there were other free seats and space in front the seats anyway! 🤷‍♀️. I can see why she might possibly have found it an insult that you got up. But then she was clearly acting weird so I wouldn’t lose sleep over it. I also find it strange and a little creepy when people sit right next to me when there are spaces elsewhere. An unnecessary invasion of personal space.

And op moved somewhere else, not like she threw her to the ground in response.

No. I move because the sun is too bright om that aide of the bus, or because someone smells....or because I just want to be sat by myself.
If they get offended, that there problem and not yours. Ou don't need to explain yourself to a stranger.

You weren’t being rude and imo she was being strange moving to squash herself next to you when she was already sitting in an empty seat. Plenty of time for her to move later if other passengers got on, although I don’t see why she’d need to.

Although of course someone else might have got on as the bus filled up and sat next to you, but on a largely empty bus I think she was being unnecessary - and definitely shouldn’t have shown reluctance to let you pass!

It’s funny how different people are - I’d always try and sit in a seat by myself. Others always make a beeline to sit next to other people 🤷‍♀️

I don’t think you were rude.

No not rude at all just sensible . Especially with all.the bugs around etc.

The trouble is, when you're neurodiverse you DO second-guess and overthink because that's how your brain works. Let's remember to be kind