To get free carer tickets with 8 year old autistic son?

[Mummaofautisticboy8]

My 8 year old son is recently diagnosed as autistic. It's pretty severe, as in he's 3 years behind academically, but he can talk and toilet etc. He met every part of the DSM V criteria and has regressions and so could fall further behind.

As part of his diagnosis, they gave links to various wonderful schemes where you can get free/reduced tickets as his carer.

As he's 8, at the moment I'd go along with him anywhere anyway, however in 5/6 years time when his friends visit the cinema without parents and he can't do that, the carer ticket will be helpful. If I introduce it later, I'm worried it could affect his confidence.

So how would you feel if an 8 year-old's parent used a "carer" ticket for the cinema/ theme park etc.? Financially we aren't badly off. I'm not sure if this makes a difference.

I haven't applied yet as I just can't work out how I'd feel about it. So please help me. I don't mind the response and planning to aply (or not!) based on this poll, but please, please keep it kind. :-)

Aibu

YABU- carer tickets should be when you can't afford a ticket and you need to go anyway with an 8 year-old

YANBU- your child has a disability, you've been advised to apply and using the systems he'll need in the future, now, will help him see this as the "norm" so he doesn't suddenly feel "different" as he gets older.

If you've got to the end, thank you. :-)

I've been using carer tickets for my autistic dd since she was 4. Financially we're not in any need at all, but that isn't the point of it. We're entitled and we certainly have financial implications on our overall budget due to her disabilities so I'm not going to turn down any financial support we can get.
Our dd2 had been diagnosed now, so we get family days out paying just for the dc and DH and I get a carer ticket each. We get DLA of course for the dcs too. Look into whether you can get a budget for Short Breaks from your council - we get over £800 per year to spend on things like cinema trips and other days out (but the amount depends on your council).

Absolutely do it. And while you're at it, look into an Access card to & see if you can queue in the disabled queue for theme parks etc. And get a sunflower lanyard- we had one when we flew abroad with DS2 (autism, ADHD, epilepsy) & didn't realise, but at the airport we got whisked discreetly through security queues.

Having a disabled child is so much harder than having a non-disabled child & it is harder for them too. You are entitled to every bit of help you can get.

I would think it's absolutely none of my business

Hi OP we use carers tickets because often we have to go several times to get the benefit of an outing as my son might be to anxious during the first go, then not manage the whole thing in the second go.

It also encourages us to just give something a go, as it doesn't matter too much if he has to leave as I haven't wasted to much money.

How would WE feel about someone else's care ticket? I am not sure anyone actually gives a rat's tail. Wouldn't cross my mind to spend a second considering whether or not you can afford to attend and activity or whether your child is sufficiently disabled. You are entitled to one and that's the end of discussion to me.

Use the carer ticket, by 8 if he didn’t have a disability he might be going to these places with a friend and their parent so only costing the child ticket. He always needs you with him because of his autism so take the free ticket.

I think you should definitely use the careers ticket. You are entitled to it. It wouldn't cross my mind to think otherwise ❤️

As with so many things - there will be plenty of people who have an issue with it, and they will be the people who have not thought it through or ever attempted to understand your situation. So please just ignore them and do what you need to do.

What does it matter what other people may feel about it? As it is no one would know anyway, as you pay the entrance fee like anybody else, and it would not be shouted out to the queue that you are also getting a ticket for a career included!

We felt quite fraudulent the first time we used our DLA/Carer's Allowance document from the Department for Work and Pensions to get a carer's discount. DS is diagnosed ASD but doesn't 'look' disabled. 10 years later I am brazen about it and don't give it a second thought. In that time I have only has one person look at the document properly.

If a place allows it then go for it. However not all places allow a carer ticket for children below a certain age, the access cards for example it’s difficult to get “plus one” on them for a young child as their arguement is any child that age would need a carer. When they get older there are instances where it works the other way round and you sometimes have to pay for certain things where a non disabled child would go on their own or with friends so
it’s swings and roundabouts

I'm so reassured by all of these lovely, kind, thoughtful comments. Thank you so much each and every one of you who have replied. I will definitely apply now.

A lovely example of social media being positive. :-)

I have a disability which affects my mobility so I am entitled to a free companion ticket to various places. Technically we could afford to pay for 2 tickets but my disability means lots of other small extra expenses. For instance I can't reach to cut my toe nails so it costs £30 for someone else to do it, I have a cleaner regularly and can't do much routine maintenance in our home. I bet the same applies to you if you think about it. Take the free ticket and enjoy the extra outing, its a small bonus but worth having

Anyone can apply for a carer card, whether this is to care for a child or an adult

You can apply for discounted entries to museums, cinema, attractions, plus discounts for shopping, concerts, festivals etc

We use carer tickets for our autistic son. We can't ever guarantee him enjoying an experience and we've often had to leave early. Without a carer ticket, we probably wouldn't go at all.

My career earnings have been dramatically reduced by his autism. Any disability benefits still leave us behind where we would be financially if he wasn't autistic.

He may need expensive extra care as he gets older. Carer tickets save money now against future expenses.

YANBU.

Listen. We don’t get a lot of perks for raising an autistic child. Who cares what anyone else thinks? I get the free ticket for myself and a queue hopper for my son at every theme park we visit and I don’t give a hoot if anyone else thinks badly of me.

Does he get DLA? I think most carer tickets require proof of this, please check. IHRTFT but you could also queue jump at theme parks too, which would probably be helpful.

Definitely get it, OP. I was like you and doubted whether I “should” use it. However a lot of places I take her to we end up having to leave much earlier or abandon the trip due to ASD related issues. I find it free-ing (!!?) to know that that ten mins she spent at an event wasn’t potentially £40 or so down the drain. It also helps me to broaden options of where we go, which helps her experience much more than she would otherwise if I’m scrabbling for money that month.

My DD gets DLA, so I get carers tickets for her. She's 10.

Don't overthink it.

We often leave early because it's inaccessible or she's tired.

Or we spend the whole day in one area because she's scared to go up to the next bit.

I felt the same but then I realised how much of day trips we spend sitting in quiet areas or just generally taking things slower. Even things like the theatre or cinema, I find I miss quite a bit of the show as I'm reassuring her. It also means I can take another adult to take DS off while DD is having these breaks.

Excellent! you are fully entitled to make use of discounts. Like other posters have said, many of us have had to change career/reduce hours to support our children, it's easy to forget the changes we have made.

I have two children entitled to DLA so when we go on big trips I put down for two carer tickets. It’s not about the money, it’s the fact we don’t get full ‘value’ out of all day experiences like other families do. There’s also other extra costs involved just getting us there and around the place. We will often revisit a place to make up for any parts we didn’t get to explore the previous time due to having to leave after 2 hours. And we always spend a small fortune in the gift shop to avoid meltdowns/keep calm on the way home…

I use carer tickets all the time with my disabled 6 year old. Yes any 6 year needs an adult but she needs constant supervision anywhere, beyond what you would expect of a typical 6 year old. We need two adults, one to watch her and one for my other two children for safety and in case of leaving early, needing to change her etc. So we pay for one adult, carers ticket for the other. It’s part of disability access, you should definitely use it!

Use it. I have it for 4 of my dc's. When they were little I used it to bring grandparents or someone to be an extra pair of hands on days out. Now they are older it means I don't have to pay for the grumpy teenagers to go to the zoo when they don't want to go but they aren't able to be left behind.

I have three children with autism and felt like you when they were first diagnosed. I found it really hard the first time. Someone pointed out to me that someone with nt children could take them somewhere for say 6 hours whereas we wouldn't last longer than an hour. They suggested, if I found it easier, to think of it as a discount as we were going for only part of the time.
We also try to get a year pass from places that you pay once and go all year as that takes the pressure off needing to get to do alot in one day which is impossible for us. So we have one for a nearby castle. We quite often go and just paddle in their stream and then come home cos that's all they can cope with. We wouldn't be able to do that at full price