To be worried about 1 girl in dds secondary school

[sadforherr]

Dd is starting year 7 this year, she had a friend in primary, they were best friends for a couple of years and then year 5 it took a turn, bff was showing signs of manipulation and dd is very easily influenced and quite shy.

Year 6 it escalated this girl became really nasty we had to get the parents and school involved.

And more recently she has been threatening dd with fighting talk. Ive told her mum, no response.

Dd is petrified about sec school as this girl will be going. She is worried about the girl doing something to her. I have tried to reassure her without promising it wont happen as obviously i cant control what happens in school WHICH SOUNDS INSANE TO EVEN SAY! I want to protect my little girl so badly.

I guess im looking for wise mums who have been through this to offer some ideas of how i can prepare her or just how to handle this?
Do i tell the school beforehand?

The mum is actually (was) really nice we used to have either girl at our houses and she isnt from a bad family as such. However she does have older sisters so im assuming they have an influence. But the mum just has chosen not to speak to me about the issues. She will say hi if she sees me thats it.

Are any of the threats via text/in writing?

I would involve the police if necessary. This needs stamping out before secondary school. Text the mum and tell her you’ve had enough of her daughter threatening yours, you’ve given her the opportunity to sort it out and the next time it happens you’ll be reporting it.

@DontBiteTheCat she is very smart fir her age! She send messages makes sure dd has read then deletes!

She also only messages things that could be explained as meaning something else if that makes sense?

Although we know the clear meaning of it

But if is read, it's only deleted for the sender? Your DD will still have it

Sign your daughter up for some self defence classes.

Take photos of the messages as soon as the arrive on your dds phone

Screenshot messages as soon as they come through and talk to the pastoral team at the secondary school.make them aware and ask for them to be in different tutor groups

We had this issue. I sent my daughter to a different secondary, albeit she went into this school knowing only 2 other girls and was wary. She settled great and has a great bunch of friends.

Your DD should take screen shots

Ensure the secondary staff are aware asap.

Send her to a different school and block this girl on all social media .

If it’s WhatsApp, turn read receipts and last seen off so she doesn’t know they’ve been read and can’t see your DD is online. Then screenshot.

Or screenshot from the home screen if she gets a notification and can read the message.

a family member had something similar before her DS started secondary school. She was able to speak to the school the day before the kids went back and they were really good.

You can ask the secondary school that they are not in the same class. Some secondaries divide the school into sections with little interaction between sections so you could find out if this is the case and ask that they are placed in different ones.

Your daughter needs to screenshot when it comes onto her Home Screen and not open the messages at all

I knew a girl who was due to start secondary school a few years ago. Their was 1 nice girl in her class and the rest of her class were horrible. She was never invited to birthday parties or to the local bigger town to say go shopping or for a McDonald's.
She had other friends outside of school. Her mother spoke to the principal of the secondary school and asked that she be put in a class separate from her primary school class and the reason why. She let the principal know exactly what these girls were like.

Today her daughter has done her A levels, has group of friends and is look forward to going to university.
I know another child who was bullied. His mother sent him to school in the in nearest big town rather than the local school. He has friends, a social life and is doing well in school.

Do this and get your daughter away from a girl like her.

I agree. Nobody bullies my granddaughter . Not even the boys. She knows exactly what to do if attacked, and has used her skills.