To expect Senior managers to say please and thank you?

[BurntBroccoli]

Senior team changed a few years ago and new people brought in (all male).

Whenever they email, they never say 'please' or 'thank you'. It feels so unprofessional and really irks me!

My background is civil service where everyone was always very polite.

Am I being unreasonable in expecting some manners?

How do I call them out on this?

I've spent 20 years in professional services and the more senior (and older) the manager the more they are polite and well mannered.

The up and coming 30-somethings and 40-somethings not so much. The ones who could really do with storing up some brownie points too 🙄

Working a school. Same thing there with senior leaders bar one. They seem to have all read the same management manual🙄

The worst is one in his 50s and the others are in their 40s.
Makes me put their email to the end of my list!

Yes, it looks that way.
To me email should still be a semi formal way of communication and should be polite.

I don't think you can call them out, other than raising it with the level above them as a workplace culture issue, if you work in the sort of place where this would be tolerated/cared about.

But if you're no longer working in the civil service, be mindful you can't impose that culture on a new workplace. I work with someone ex-CS who spends her life trying to implant that culture into our organisation - inappropriately!

Just reply in the same tone

Yes I'd match their tone. I hate when people don't put hi they just put '

'Labamba, I need x'

Feel like replying, 'Kevin, do fuck off'

I'd be interested to know if they are male or female. A lot of women are being taught how to word emails to sound more authoritative (like removing the word just or apologising) and I wonder if that might have something to do with it.

Could be an indication of their general demeanour, unfortunately. I was promoted to senior management a couple of years ago and quickly noticed that a good half the people at that level basically rely on being an arsehole to do their job. It's not just in the way they treat the people beneath them - it's things like trying to win a debate by making their opponent feel small, rather than by presenting a better case; game playing rather than collaborating, etc. Don't think it's something you can change, unfortunately.

Because men aren’t socialised to be meek and mild and soften every request whereas a lot of women apologise for their very existence. You often see stuff in LinkedIn about women re reading their emails and cutting the unnecessary words out.

my new manager cant even construct a sentence in an email. it is all nonsense

Depends on the context. It's a place of work, not a social gathering.
Rudeness unacceptable, please, pretty please, etc, are not necessary in many instances

You're not being unreasonable in expecting manners but it looks like you're not going to get any. They obviously don't do niceties.

Of course they should be polite, always use ‘thank you’ and mostly use ‘please’.

I wouldn’t use ‘please’ for a hard deadline, though, as it is a bit contradictory. I cannot think of anywhere else where I wouldn’t off hand.

Has no one heard of the term ‘noblesse oblige’?!

I always use please and thank you but don't really notice when someone else uses a more terse style.

I work in a school - I’m a senior manager (not teaching).

I say please/thank you and express gratitude when someone has done a good job.

My manager does too - he says thank you whenever I let him know something has been completed.

Never seen a senior person say please in an email. Sometimes thank you. More often than not it's very to the point. Here's one I got recently:

"Parkmybentley

Tina needs access to X."

That's it. Nothing to get offended about tbh.

"I don't think you can call them out, other than raising it with the level above them as a workplace culture issue, if you work in the sort of place where this would be tolerated/cared about.

But if you're no longer working in the civil service, be mindful you can't impose that culture on a new workplace. I work with someone ex-CS who spends her life trying to implant that culture into our organisation - inappropriately!"
@bergamotorange

Not trying to enforce CS culture at all and it's only the male Senior managers who do this. Rest are really polite.
Previous managers had great manners too.
It's just a very stark (annoying!) difference

Yes I do.

I'm menopausal and I think age has given me the confidence to call out rudeness. In my experience actually the worst offenders are vile bullying women. I responded recently to one email saying I would be delighted to give a full answer just as soon as I received the request again with some basic common courtesy and in line with how we are expected to treat our customers. I held my breath... but that's what I got and she has done so since.

Call it out, what are they going to do, report you to HR for expecting good manners?

Managers should realise they reap what they sow. Absolutely no excuse for a lack of please and thank you.

The impolite managers are all male.
Feel like I'm stooping to their level when I'm forced to reply without manners.

That would tick me off - yanbu.

There's being assertive and there's being rude. In a PPs example

Labamba, I need x

Is rude

Labamba - J has called and I need to send him x by 4 pm. Let me know asap if this is going to be a problem

Is not rude (even though there is no please or thank you and would be better still with a quick thanks at the end)

See in that second example how long would it take to type please?

Looking on Twitter seems I'm not the only one getting pissed off by this.

High level, senior manager here. I always say please and thank you no matter whether it's the CEO or the cleaner I'm talking with. Manners cost nothing and everyone deserves courtesy and respect. It really irks me when the courtesy is not reciprocated so IMO YANBU.

This