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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How can I tell if I have an internal monologue?

232 replies

Barrol · 23/07/2024 18:21

I learned recently from my teen that ~ 30 to 50% of people don't have an “inner voice.”

I’m sure I do. As I type I hear my voice in my head. But am I just assuming I can? I’m confused. So maybe I am in the minority of people who don’t have an inner monologue. When I read I say it a loud in my head I think.

Please can anyone familiar with this topic elaborate.

OP posts:
Greengagesnfennel · 24/07/2024 00:26

Emotionalsupporthamster · 23/07/2024 19:20

Not sure about this. I don’t have an internal monologue but I do read an awful lot, for work and pleasure, and writing is a big part of my job. Language is central to my identity but it’s more of an expression of how I think rather than central to the construction of the thought itself if that makes sense.

I have no inner monologue and like reading too.
i’m a pretty chilled person (no gad). I daydream a lot but in pictures and feelings like a movie. When I read it’s like watching a movie not listening to an audio book.

whosthefoolnow · 24/07/2024 00:27

Whatstheweatherlike · 23/07/2024 20:48

Oh I've always wondered about this too. I've constantly got internal chatter going on as well as whatever song is my current earworm. One thing I do a lot is repearedly go over conversations or rehearse future conversations. I'm quite a worrier and something that I worry about is saying the wrong thing. I often wonder what a healthy inner monologue sounds like - mine definitely isn't!

Yes, practicing future conversations. I do this a lot. I'm not good at thinking on the spot or coming up with answers off the hoof so I find myself practicing what I'm going to say often.
I also find that my inner voice is very critical of me and rarely has anything nice to say to me. It will often say nice things about others, but never me.

GoodieMcTwoshoes · 24/07/2024 00:32

If you can 'hear' it in your head then you have one. I'dve thought most people have one. It narrates to you thoughts about memories, current situations, future plans etc.

HollyBerri · 24/07/2024 00:41

if something is annoying me i often think it through as if I am posting in aibu or writing to an agony aunt. I then formulate replies in my head.
Does anyone else do this?i have an inner dialogue- DH doesn’t. He reads out loud and moves his lips when he doesn’t.

Franjipanl8r · 24/07/2024 00:41

I definitely don’t have this monologue, I think visually like a movie or picture book. When I read I’m pretty slow - thinking in words or conversations would be exhausting for me!

It has blown my mind that not everyone thinks like this. I just assumed inside everyone’s brain was a silent movie of their thoughts!

Inthetropics · 24/07/2024 00:45

I don't have an inner monologue and I have no idea how people who do manage to live with it!

SplendidUtterly · 24/07/2024 00:46

Mine never shuts up telling me what to do/reminding me to do things. I have been caught answering it back out loud a few times(angrily) 😂

ClickClack300 · 24/07/2024 00:46

To those that don’t have them….. When you read silently that’s what an internal dialogue is imo. If you can read silently in your own head then you have an internal dialogue.

Its just thoughts really it doesn’t have to be “I’ll cook chicken for tea tonight” but the ability to think that silently in your head.

It’s like whispering and again reading in silent that’s all it is imo.

If you go for a job interview would you not practice the answers of the questions in your head? Say when you’re driving to your interview and you’re just going over in in your mind - that’s your internal dialogue that I would describe.

thaegumathteth · 24/07/2024 00:51

ClickClack300 · 24/07/2024 00:46

To those that don’t have them….. When you read silently that’s what an internal dialogue is imo. If you can read silently in your own head then you have an internal dialogue.

Its just thoughts really it doesn’t have to be “I’ll cook chicken for tea tonight” but the ability to think that silently in your head.

It’s like whispering and again reading in silent that’s all it is imo.

If you go for a job interview would you not practice the answers of the questions in your head? Say when you’re driving to your interview and you’re just going over in in your mind - that’s your internal dialogue that I would describe.

Edited

No I kind of see the words moving as I read them.

Re the interview - no I absolutely can't do that. I have to speak them out loud or write them down.

Shoopstoop · 24/07/2024 00:52

Nursingadvice · 23/07/2024 23:11

For me, I still have thoughts but there’s no conversation in my head. I’m so confused, is it like having a little person on your shoulder talking to you? 😂

I speak you myself out loud probably more often than is normal.

Edited

For me it’s that all my thoughts are mediated by language, formed in language, maybe literally are language. It’s not that it's a conversation per se, it’s that without language I wouldn’t know how to think or know what I was thinking. So even if I have an intuition or a sensory impression I’m immediately putting words onto it and I don’t think I’m really even registering the experience until it’s in words? Hard to understand the mechanics exactly but I think that’s how it is.

Shoopstoop · 24/07/2024 00:59

Userxyd · 23/07/2024 23:12

This is all fascinating to me as an inner verbal diarrhoea-er.
So @Shoopstoop in a white quiet room what would be happening in your head? Peace and quiet? I cannot imagine not thinking anything - it's probably lovely but it sounds a bit scary tbh!

I would be thinking in very clear words “how do I escape this quiet white room? Get me out!” And if I couldn’t escape I would be daydreaming which would probably be repeating conversations from the past, or thinking about plans, or analysing problems - all in words the same as if I were writing it out.

Franjipanl8r · 24/07/2024 01:02

ClickClack300 · 24/07/2024 00:46

To those that don’t have them….. When you read silently that’s what an internal dialogue is imo. If you can read silently in your own head then you have an internal dialogue.

Its just thoughts really it doesn’t have to be “I’ll cook chicken for tea tonight” but the ability to think that silently in your head.

It’s like whispering and again reading in silent that’s all it is imo.

If you go for a job interview would you not practice the answers of the questions in your head? Say when you’re driving to your interview and you’re just going over in in your mind - that’s your internal dialogue that I would describe.

Edited

I find that really hard though. I actively have to stop my lips and tongue moving when I read in my head and I read at the speed I speak. For me words and language are a physical action and “in my head” is visual. If I drove to an interview I’d speak out loud or quietly mumble to rehearse it.

Hadjab · 24/07/2024 01:09

MummytoA · 23/07/2024 23:25

Can anyone explain the difference between a thought and an internal monologue? As I write this I'm saying it in my head, if that makes sense?

For me it’s a conversation.

“What shall we make for dinner?”

”Well, we had chicken yesterday. Maybe you should do a stir fry?”

”But there’s only two of us at home tonight, and it’s a family pack.”

”In that case, cook something from the freezer.”

”Yeah, but what?”

(actual conversation I had with myself this evening)

Inthetropics · 24/07/2024 01:10

ClickClack300 · 24/07/2024 00:46

To those that don’t have them….. When you read silently that’s what an internal dialogue is imo. If you can read silently in your own head then you have an internal dialogue.

Its just thoughts really it doesn’t have to be “I’ll cook chicken for tea tonight” but the ability to think that silently in your head.

It’s like whispering and again reading in silent that’s all it is imo.

If you go for a job interview would you not practice the answers of the questions in your head? Say when you’re driving to your interview and you’re just going over in in your mind - that’s your internal dialogue that I would describe.

Edited

I don't think in words or images. I'm not sure exactly how I read, but it's not the same way as when I'm reading a text out loud for someone else. When I read to myself silently what's written gets absorbed/decoded as somethings else that's not words, it's very abstract, it's a lot more like feeling something that needs no words in order to have meaning. Reading out loud is something completely diferent for me and seems to be a poorer experience in general. I don't quite know how to explain it.

Hadjab · 24/07/2024 01:16

Bungler · 24/07/2024 00:25

I have a particular voice which goes through my head when I’m reading posts on here. Everyone has the same voice. It is a different voice to the voices in my head when I am reading other things. I very rarely post but as I write this I’m also using the mumsnet voice.

I have several mumsnet voices, depending on the poster’s writing style.

The aggy voice

The simpering voice

The neutral voice

The weary voice

I only need to read the first sentence of a post, and my brain automatically switches.

MsAmerica · 24/07/2024 01:19

Barrol · 23/07/2024 18:21

I learned recently from my teen that ~ 30 to 50% of people don't have an “inner voice.”

I’m sure I do. As I type I hear my voice in my head. But am I just assuming I can? I’m confused. So maybe I am in the minority of people who don’t have an inner monologue. When I read I say it a loud in my head I think.

Please can anyone familiar with this topic elaborate.

Does it make a difference?

To me, an "inner voice" and an "internal monologue" aren't necessarily the same thing, anyway. But I think everyone has internal monologues, whether they're tedious things like, "Do I really have to shorten the pants?" or pondering big philosophical questions.

Snugglemonkey · 24/07/2024 01:21

Pieceofpurplesky · 23/07/2024 21:37

That totally blows my mind! My internal voice never stops. I am an insomniac because of its constant chatter. Sometimes there is more than one voice alongside a soundtrack. Trying to meditate leads to great adventures going off in my head - you know, picturing the calm place, gentle rain music and then a t-Rex arrives ....

It might be worth googling progressive muscle relaxation. I a like you, but I use this to be meditative and give my mind a rest.

nonumbersinthisname · 24/07/2024 02:06

The first time I realised I had an internal monologue was when I got drunk for the first time when I first went to uni. Although I was blotto, a voice inside me was running a narration “interesting, legs aren’t working properly because I want to walk over there but they’re taking me here instead. Oh no I can’t form my words properly. Am I making a tit of myself? Thank god mum can’t see me now she’d never let me hear the end of this.” And so on. That’s when I realised the voice was always there, being drunk made everything else in my brain shut up so I could hear it. It’s never gone away since then. Also an extensive reader as a child and now have anxiety thanks to the endless “what if…” thoughts going on. It’s like Inside Out is going on in there all the time.

I also have a rich and extensive daydreaming life that thankfully stays just this side of maladaptive daydreaming because it doesn’t take over my life or impact day to day activities. They’re like movies running through my head where I’m the central character, some are realistic with real life people (eg what I’ll do when I win Euromillions) and some are complete fantasy (think along the lines of Lost in Austen). I never get bored on long journeys or in doctors waiting rooms or in interminable Town Hall meetings that are the scourge of corporate life. Interestingly my anxiety also goes away when I’m daydreaming, so I happily give in to it.

Monty27 · 24/07/2024 02:31

I'm definitely inner voice person.
Don't mean to derail @HIJKLMNOPQ but it does bother me a little when I'm vaccuming and it sounds like a repetitive random chant in my head.

PomPomtheGreat · 24/07/2024 02:36

Newrumpus · 23/07/2024 18:45

There are some people who are both aphantasic and have no internal monologue.

That would be me - if you add in face blind as well.

Oddly enough, I am a writer. No problems at all with using words well. I just don't hear them being said out loud inside my head.

SquitMcJit · 24/07/2024 02:59

Rfthyhuj · 23/07/2024 23:50

Surely thinking the thoughts is an inner monologue? The monologue is your thoughts.

I think the difference is I don’t hear a voice sounding things out, as some people are describing. And I didn’t know other people did have this monologue. I am having the thoughts - e.g. what will I say in an interview or I need to put the bins out, but it isn’t being articulated in words as though I’m listening to someone/myself saying “It’s bin night, put the bins out.”

And when reading or typing I don’t hear the individual words. I can choose to do this if I want to ( if something is hard to understand or express) but mainly the words are all flowing together to form an impression.

But at the same time, I’m not skim reading or filtering things out in a text, like someone mentioned upthread - I’m really aware of word choices and writing styles. Words really resonate and stick with me. I love poetry and I have loads of pieces of writing in my memory. But I’m not hearing a voice reading in my head (unless I choose to) - which I think is what some people seem to be describing experiencing when they’re reading or writing.

If I was sat in an empty white room I would be sat in silence but would most likely be thinking about lots of things but there wouldn’t be a voice talking to me or narrating those thoughts. And I can zone out if I want to.

And, yes @Adatewithmyself I would see a calendar unfolding in my mind if I thought about next month or Thursday or last year!

I also have mild synethesia around letters having certain colours.

So I think I must be a very visual thinker. But also reading and writing are very important to me too and are a big part of my job and also what I choose to do in my spare time.

This has been such an interesting discussion. I’ve loved reading everyone’s experiences and how we are all trying to describe how our brains are working and processing things. And it’s all quite hard to articulate too!

SquitMcJit · 24/07/2024 03:04

PomPomtheGreat · 24/07/2024 02:36

That would be me - if you add in face blind as well.

Oddly enough, I am a writer. No problems at all with using words well. I just don't hear them being said out loud inside my head.

That is fascinating!

BelindaOkra · 24/07/2024 03:18

Mine is constant. Not particularly anxious. Do like reading and do daydream a lot.

Catsmere · 24/07/2024 04:31

I still don't really know what's meant by the term, unless it's this: "A person without an inner monologue isn’t constantly imagining their next move in their head, Pressley adds. Instead, they just kind of do it." Which certainly describes me, I don't plan things out like that.

(source www.bustle.com/wellness/does-everyone-have-an-internal-monologue)

Wallywobbles · 24/07/2024 04:42

My inner monologue is very busy in my sleep too. Wakes me up every day.

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