British kids and eating habits - IABU ?

[lovemycoffee2]

I have two young kids and we live in the UK but we are not originally from here.

At home we cook everyday from scratch our food and we take that food at a lunch box at our workplace. We have a light dinner again made from scratch.

The issue is our kids which are of course going to school/nursery and they love to copy their friends!

In the UK it's healthy if a kid eats sausages (god knows what the meat has inside), or for example Heinz baked beans which have 10% sugar and 20% salt (leaving 70% being actual beans) or if they eat fish fingers which are pre-fried (even if you bake them they were already fried before got frozen) or chicken nuggets (again pre-fried which god knows what was the oil quality).

It's also acceptable to drink juices which have no sugar but plenty sweeteners.

Also, it's perfectly fine to have a ham sandwich for lunch which has ready made processed bread full of emulsifiers and ham which (like sausage) god knows what ingredients has.

It's ok that primary schools offer desserts, even if they are small portions and low sugar on a daily basis - not on a weekly or as special occasion! I don't have a dessert everyday, why my kid is offered one?

Honestly, are all these things ok? Am I paranoid?

I am very worried that the kids will either end up obsessed. with diabetes or with other health issues given all the processed food and the fact that we are what we eat.

YABU - are you crazy?

YANBU - unfortunately this is a "balanced healthy diet" in the UK!

I always take all that French advice with a grain of salt, but I have children who are not neurotypical. I realise that of course some children are picky for other reasons, but in my experience if you serve a varied diet at home, expose your children to different foods, and they still always want the same things, it's probably not your parenting. One of mine just watched me pop cherry tomatoes in my mouth while I was preparing dinner, but wouldn't touch one, because he will not eat raw veg, ever. I have watched parents absolutely twist themselves into knots over kids who are neophobic or selective, and pressuring them backfires more often than not. I always want to hear more about how the system works for children with real issues, because France's reputation for autism is appalling; they only wrested control from the psychoanalysts in the past decade or so!

Agree with you OP. We live in this country now but I grew up elsewhere and agree that most children’s diets, and a lot of adults diets include a lot of ready prepared frozen or convenience food. My DC were reception age when they were invited for their first pizza by their friends on a play date - they’d never had it before then. A year later it was McDonalds. They are now teens and I still cook everything from scratch but they do have a lot of beige food or fast food when with their friends. Just do what works for you.

Op I'm not British either but married to a British man and I too had some surprised over how food was done in the UK.

However, having said that your post comes across as very patronising and frankly uneducated.
Gods know what meat in Sausages and ham? Go ask the school kitchen and they will show you what meat is in them. Simply because it's sausages and ham doesn't = it is bad

Your comment about sugar in school bread rolls have you spoken to the school about the recipe they use? If not how do you know there is sugar in it? Or that they are unhealthy?

My children are mid to early 20s now they eat a varied diet none of them have chips often it was not a regular part of their growing up. Even with the friends where baked beans and sausages (that you seem to so disdain) was a regular occupancy. Fruit shoots were not a regular drink. Mine got capri sun at times but mostly they had water. (None of them were milk drinkers and 2 have lactose issues) only 1 of my friends kids regularly had sweet drinks and she had some medical issues that frankly meant anything she would eat was a good thing.

Your kids moan if you give the. Other stuff than their mates? Tough they will get over it. Parent them if this is a big deal for you. Kids learn soon enough at we do x at others they do Y.

Also open your mind a bit. There is plenty of good stuff in British culture including their food (Stilton yum) it is easy to get caught up in "back "home" we have it right" then you go back after a few years and you realise they have moved on.

Parent as you wish don't try to keep up with the Jones and also look for the positive in both cultures and celebrate this. No matter if you like it or not your children are growing up with a lot of British culture why dish it all?

I voted YANBU…although I do I think there are some inaccuracies in the OP (such as about baked beans!). I agree peer influence makes it hard for those of us who prefer to feed our children a more balanced diet. Not impossible of course, as yes, you can say no, it’s just far more of a battle when peer influence is so strong and not very balanced!

This is the most hilarious story of a sanctimonious parent getting their comeuppance I have ever read, thank you!

You can just hear her “But Felix, darling, there are special rules for hummingbirds!”

Has anyone actually bothered to check the school lunch menus? This is the one closest to my house, bog standard primary in a London suburb. Really doesn’t seem that awful to me!

OP, you seem to be very exercised about the idea of British children eating sausages (with "god knows what meat in them"), but last time I visited mainland Europe, sausages were pretty popular there too. From Spain's chorizo to Italy's salami, from France's saucisson to Germany's Wurst, they were everywhere (perhaps not in Malta, eh?).

Hahaha

But coffee isn't necessarily bad for you, individually you might not like it because of side effects but it's got good effects as well
I drink coffee and tea all day, no issues. Can have a coffee and go to bed as can my dad

In Wales we feed our kids raw leeks and laverbread.

@MeowCatPleaseMeowBack

I hold my hands up - reading my message back I did sound like a bit of a dick 😂

Bratwurst, currywurst, pommes frites, croissant, pain au chocolat, Kaffee und kuchen, schnitzel, apfelstrudel, schinken und käse - in fact in Germany, breads, hams, sausages, cheeses, and pickles are all common food staples in many Central European countries. A 'continental breakfast' is actually less healthy than scrambled eggs, beans and wholemeal toast.

There's a desire to push food consumption in the UK as unhealthy but cured meats, bread, cheese, pasta etc are all Northern European staples.

That looks fine. When I visited a French Lycée for the day as a teenager, the lunch we were served was chicken and chips. Not particularly better than that menu.

Yes 😂😂

This is the dinner menu from the primary school that my daughters went to. There is always veg available, they don’t get a pudding every day and one day a week is always meat free. My younger daughter went to school dinners more than the older one, she preferred a packed lunch.

They were both brought up eating home made food from scratch with the odd chicken nugget dinner thrown in. They both like sausages but only one will eat mash and neither of the two of them like beans 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yes, YABU. You parent your kids. You send them to school with lunches you're happy with - but don't paint the UK as the only country that promotes unhealthy eating in Europe!!

The UK is way ahead of most European countries when it comes to vegetarian restaurants or being vegan, gluten free, etc.

Chuh.

I think variety is a big thing. Everyone is always astonished I don't like steak but I eat most other stuff
So yes the grains and pulses and salads but also pizza, burgers etc. Not a fussy eater and if it's put in front of me I eat it

A colleague hadn't tried a lot of foods and as an adult she said one day she was worried about trying new stuff because of cost. Like buying blueberries and not liking them and they would be wasted. Ended up bringing different stuff every day and she found loads she liked

Another colleague had an awful diet (mostly red bull and sausage rolls) and would sit going "ugh what's that? Ew I would never eat that. That salad looks disgusting"
STFU and let me eat my lunch

I agree with you that school lunches are not healthy and there's so much room for improvement. However for many parents they do not have the time or mental capacity to make lunches for their children everyday.

When my kids were in nursery I looked for one with a cook on site and they were so proud of her cooking and even let me come in on several days to try out her menu. It was delicious and nutritionally balanced. My kids are in primary school now and bring home cooked food for lunch because that's the taste they prefer. They are lucky because as a sahm I will do this for them, but even I find it a pain and get lazy sometimes. Can't imagine how hard it gets for working parents to do the same.

Had a quick look through your responses OP, and I haven't read the whole thread. Perhaps you could give us all a lovely no processed meal plan for 7 days? You'll get extra stars if you make it vegan (only for me and the other vegans who might read it). Cheers.

Giggling at the idea that being Maltese means you have a healthy diet. Clearly OP hasn't heard of pastizzi. Or noticed that Malta's obesity rates are among the highest in the EU.

I do find it interesting that so many parents who care what their kids eat at home then blindingly sign up to the free school meals. I get they’re free and for some families there’s no choice financially, but I wonder if those that do have a choice don’t understand how poor nutritionally the meals often are.

The French food companies wouldn’t even tender for the school food contracts as the price per child offered by the government wasn’t deemed enough to provide a meal properly (it’s £2.50 per child per meal this year, compared to about £6 if you were paying for school lunch in France). If you think about what £2.50 would buy you in the shops, in terms of a decent, fresh, unprocessed meal and it’s pretty much impossible (you can’t even get the cheapest Tesco meal deal for that price). Particularly when it has to include a main and pudding. When I pop into my son’s school, the kids regularly don’t have any vegetables on their plates, will have a carb like pasta/white rice with some meat, and extra white packet bread as a filler. Which is really not a great meal.

We don’t do anything crazy, but send my son in with a packed lunch of fresh (bakery not packet) brown bread sandwich with cheese, along with cucumber sticks, raw pepper, a few crackers, some raisins and a banana, sometimes with a mini homemade muffin to mix it up. Even with this lunch I’m confident he’s getting a far better meal than the free school lunch, as there is pretty much nothing processed in it and it has 3 of his portions of fruit/veg. The school meal is often full of processed/ultra processed food, really cheap meat (no idea what is in that) and very few fresh vegetables.

I’m sure some schools are better than others but having 3 teachers in the family they all report back the same from different schools, and they wouldn’t eat the food there themselves so I question why it’s deemed ok for the kids.

I agree OP. My son’s pre school prides itself on “homemade healthy food” but there are a lot of sausages, sausage rolls, baked beans, ham, and pizza. Jam is offered to them at breakfast too, I’ve said he should not have jam but I know he gets it anyway as they can’t supervise them all the time. I was super strict with no sugar ( at home and at nursery) until he was around 3 and reminded them weekly he should not have any. The processed food he still got at nursery unfortunately but not at home.
When he got more aware about what other kids were having I relaxed that rule. They also allow children to bring in cake if it’s been their birthday and there are always someone’s birthday! I’m the annoying parent who tries to advocate for healthier food but there aren’t enough parents who care and want to join in. I also don’t want to forbid my DS to have what the other kids are having daily in front of him, it’s a really difficult situation. I can tell that my DS is already starting to not want the usual healthy food and prefers fish fingers to oven baked salmon, it pains me! We are visiting family in Scandinavia at the moment and his cousins are smashing their fish and vege and he is picking at it, it’s not great to watch. He’s been too used to having processed food at pre school, even though we don’t have that at home he still goes 4 days a week so there are many meals, it doesn’t matter that we eat healthy at home, his preferences have already been changed, it’s sad to see.
At home we eat a lot of healthy food, lots of vege and not processed but we also have treats, that is usually us baking something together ( he loves it and I know what’s in it so it’s a win win) or having an ice cream on a hot day. He knows it’s not every day food, it’s occasionally.

I also find that kids menus mostly contains nuggets and fish fingers, we should try and give our kids the most nutritious food we can, not processed rubbish. The same goes for the schools, they need more money and guidelines put in place to make it happen. Children need nutritious food for their development and there have been many studies showing that healthy eating supports calmer and more focused children.

It's not everyone kids who eat like this but my ex-friend kids always ate chicken nuggets/chips/beans or takeaway and drink cola. There is a certain type of parent that feeds their kids this type of things

That's 6% total sugar, not added sugar! Tomatoes contain natural sugars and they'll be included in this add well

You could use that argument for everything. I know chronic smokers who never developed health issues or cancer. Doesn't mean it is fine to smoke or normal.