to think the mum who said her ds would be at dd's party then......

[2shoes]

didn't show is a rude cow person.
no phone call, text or email. whatever happened to manners?

phew thought i was in trouble madonna

I would wait and see if there's a good reason - there probably is. All sorts of things happen that might mean she couldn't come or forgot.

We had two no-shows at dd's party earlier this year - one turned up a day late having got the date wrong, and was mortified (the mother and I actually had a lovely time, hoovering up the left over cake and watching the two children playing with the balloons). The other one just failed to show up, didn't send a message apologising, didn't give me a reason - I saw her at nursery a week or so later and she just gave me a wave from the car as she drove off. And she had replied two days before the party saying yes. So I still have no idea what happened there and consider that rude, in the absence of more information.

Happened at my ds party last week two no shows who had said yes, one did the same last year too why not just say no ? I had no explanation then either.

YANBU, but could she have just forgotten? If I don't check my diary, I even forget things that happen every week at the same time.

Once I just totally forgot about a party/ The Mum guessed I had forgotten because I had replied and asked for directions but that had been 2 weeks before.
Also forgot about a party when my Dad died.
Aplogised for both.

I wouldn't judge just yet. You don't know the reason why they didn't make it. Could have been a family emergency or something making even calling you dificult at present.

Give her time to get back to you. Someone didn't turn up to DS's party and her parents apologised the next week when they saw me -- she had been quite ill. Actually it was quite convenient as it meant there were enough party bags for the friend who turned up without having RSVPd and my supposition that the friend whose mother had sent a message on the Friday (for a Saturday party) saying that she "hadn't decided yet" whether her DD was coming wouldn't eventually turn up proved to be correct...

If she has really, really forgotten about the party then she may not apologise when she next sees you, although she may when she eventually realises what she has done (this time next week!)

I once forgot to collect DD from a party.

2shoes, if there was something serious/urgent which distracted her from letting you know, then YABU. Also, people are busy and do forget things - but I'd expect an apology in that situation. If they just changed their minds, couldn't be bothered to come etc etc, I'd be really annoyed and in that situation YANBU. Most times, people fall in to the latter category and you wonder how they'd feel if someone did that for their DC's party.....

tbh I wasnt suprised. last time she said yes. then on the day said she he wouldn't be comming as her dh was ill and she couldn't bring her ds on her own.
I won't hold my breath for her to ciontact me. but this party has taught me not to be so nice.

you'll know yourself whether they had a reasonable explanation or not. If not, I think it's bloody rude. Expensive for you, and upsetting for your DS. But sometimes people aren't prepared to share all their personal problems so don't assume they are being rude until you know that for sure.

Oh get over your self 2shoes, this will not be the last time someone doesn't turn up to your ds party.

sussies, lay off 2shoes, this party was important to her dd.

2shoes, I hope dd had a good party anyway

Oh, I felt awful recently. Ds was supposed to go to school friend's party and I'd told the mum that dh would be taking him as I was on a course all day so couldn't go. Anyway, I'm on the course and about 2/3 hours after it would have started, my heart sank and I nearly burst into tears (pregnancy hormones). I hadn't reminded dh to take him and I just KNEW he'd have forgotten. Present and everything sorted, ds knew the day before that he was due to attend but it went bang out of my head at the last minute. I was upset as didn't want to look like a rude cow etc. plus ds gets on really well with this particular boy.

I couldn't find her phone number so emailed her when I got home but she didn't get it. I just apologised like mad at school on the Monday. Felt so and about it.

sussies, I think you were out of order there and perhaps you are someone who doesn't think it necessary to decline an invitation? I, and others, have been trying to say to 2shoes that sometimes there are valid reasons why people don't turn up - so 2shoes should bide her time before calling people rude cows/making a scene etc. But if people just can't be arsed to turn up/politely decline an invitation then they are being rude cows. Sounds like you might be one of them, sussies.

looneytunes, shit happens. But at least you realised and apologised at the first opportunity. Different to not caring at all.

as others have said, depends on the reason. if she just couldn't be arsed then yanbu. If there was some sort of emergency, yabu. How was the party, anyway?

dd had a lovely party.
I just in some ways feel sorry for these dc's who miss out. in the sn world party invites are not as normal as in the nt world. so sad the lad missed out.(again)
there are only 7 dc's in dd's class and I was prepared for not a lot of yes's as it was holiday time.

it is DS's party next weekend and I have factored into numbers that some won't turn up on the day,, not because they are lazy or can't be arsed but because shit happens... sickness, tantrums, etc.. but DS1 will be 4 if he was 12 I wouldn't make such allowances.

I have a SN ds and a NT dd, it happens that parents forget whether they children are sn or nt. I am always polite enough to decline if we can't go. I am just saying it happens and If 2shoes revisits this thread in 10 years time it will have happened again at least once. So why worry about it. At least most of the kids turned up, unlike the Nt boy whose party dd went to when they were both 6 and she was the only one there out of the 12 accepted children!

Don't plan for some not turning up though - at DD's party yesterday ALL 22 turned up who said they were coming.

Before you get cross wait and see if they send their apologies this week at school.

Not necessarily rude but maybe forgetful. Understand the irritation though.

Did completely forget one birthday party, thought it was the following week & only realised after the event. Sent in a card, present and a reasonable lie excuse via nursery though otherwise it might sound like your child's party was so insignificant we forgot!

sussies in 10 years time dd will be 23.
get your facts straight please.

2shoes at what point in this whole thread up to here Sun 13-Apr-08 22:00:30, and in your profile have you said your daughter was 13. You haven't and I have read this twice. I bet you couldn't tell me how old my kids are could you?

oh sorry. you seemed to know enough to have a pop so assumed you knew all about me.