To think that 'bless your heart' is not a nice things to say - light hearted!

[Thewheelweavesasthewheelwills]

So I won't say what we were discussing because I don't want to derail the thread. But an American (I did have look) said to me something along the lines of 'your comment is completely ignorant, bless your heart' I can't find the comment now, I think he's deleted it.

I don't think he was sincere about blessing my heart 😂is it something a lot of people say from certain areas in the USA to basically mean 'feck off with yourself I think you're an idiot' ?

When I’ve seen it on tv it’s always a patronising thing that you say to end the conversation.

It's really patronising. I hate it. I think it's also designed to make it hard to respond: it seems to shut the conversation down. I'd much rather someone just said, "don't be an idiot." At least you can respond to that!

It's like a pat on the head but with words, it's not intended to be 'nice'.

It's passive aggressive and patronising. Imagine it said in a southern drawl with head tilt and tinkly laugh.

I always think of Lemon in Hart of Dixie.

Can it ever be used in a good context? Like does it stem from somewhere nice? I've only seen it on TV in a nearly rude way as well.

i think it depends on HOW it is said... google says:

"Bless your heart" is a phrase common to the Southern United States. The phrase has multiple meanings and is used to express genuine sympathy but sometimes as an insult that conveys condescension, derision, or contempt. It may also be spoken as a precursor to an insult to mitigate its severity.

Any form of "bless" not said in response to a sneeze is patronising.

Well like everything it's context and tone of voice depended. Said to a sweet four year old who has just presented you with a flower she has picked and given to you with an "I love you", it's a genuinely meant expression of affection and love.

Said in a patronising tone of voice to an adult who has just expressed an opinion, it's a patronising way of belittling their views as overly idealistic or impractical.

I agree, it’s almost always patronising. It’s really saying ‘you idiot’.

It's a Southern thing and yes, very dependent on tone and context. It can be both an insulting or kind.

I'm from the Southern US. @thursdaymurderclub has explained it very well. Context is all. It can be very nuanced. Neighbor brings you a freshly baked pie that is your favorite while you are recovering from an illness and you say "Bless your heart, that is so nice of you." That's a compliment. Neighbor mows over your flower bed by accident and kills your favorite plantings and you say about him "Bless his heart, I think he's mowing under the influence again." Not a compliment.

When it's not a compliment, it's usually said about someone, not to their face.

So it can be good I get how the context could change it. I don't think he meant any goodness for my heart 😂I've only really heard it in Sweet Magnolias as well and I don't think they were usually too genuine with it either.

I get 'Oh bless!' and 'Bless your heart' a lot.
Usually from supermarket cashiers or people in call centres.
I am about as vulnerable as Atilla the Hun, and do not require any help other than the normal service.
I try to be a polite and pleasant customer, and get 'blessed' in return.
I don't call anyone out on this, because I think it comes from a good place, even if it sounds a little condescending.

Bless your heart in the USA means oh how fucking ignorant/stupid you are.

It doesn't mean that in the UK. It literally means bless you heart, you did a kind thing.

I think it varies massively with the context.

I've heard it said in the context of expressing sympathy and a "oh no, what a shame" vibe.
But I've also heard it in the context of "you dummy."

@Thewheelweavesasthewheelwills I am pretty sure he didn't mean it as a compliment in the context you quoted. 😀

I once overheard a conversation in a shop changing room between a customer and a sales assistant. The costumer was talking about her hobby of Morris dancing and how much she loved it etc. It was a really interesting chat and they were getting on famously. The customer then mentioned that she'd hurt her knee so wasn't currently as agile as she had been. The sales assistant said, "awww bless you" and the hitherto lovely customer snapped at her not to be so horribly patronising. Then reverted back to lovely customer leaving the sales assistant speechless.

I know Texans who use it genuinely in a kind way, but yes it can also be sarcastic and patronising.

I have also come across 'Have the day you deserve' to end a conversation. Normally following a disagreement.
(I quite like this one 😁)

I heard it on an episode of BBQ show down last night. Southern Am. In response to someone calling them beautiful. Seemed kindly meant.

Here in UK recently a sales assistant used it about 5 times to me during a brief conversation about looking for something specific and not being able to to find it. (to buy).

It was said with the such feeling it was as if i was about 90 years old and had just fallen head first down a flight of steps or something! I really didn't need earnest blessing. It was odd 🤔

Absolutely he had a completely different POV on a controversial enough subject

Perhaps the American usage is somewhat different from the way it has historically been used in the UK. Either that, or he's a dickhead who doesn't understand what it means.

According to my SIL from Mississippi, that's exactly what it does mean.

Not a compliment.