It was my mother’s 65th birthday recently and because we’re such a big family I arranged for a surprise party - everyone in agreement at the cost per head. When it came to payment despite asking and said to private message me if there was an issue a few took ages to respond, to the point I actually paid for everyone which spurred them into action. Frustrating but not too much of an issue. I then paid additionally for extra food, one family said they would bring a packed lunch for their kids so not to count them - I ended up paying for one kids portion as I knew they’d likely eat and told my DB - just got a ‘thanks’, rather than an offer to buy me a drink or something. Come the day, again I offered to go to the bar, DSiL wanted a drink but no ‘how much do I owe?’. Again, I wouldn’t have accepted but it’s just politeness! The hotel staff brought take away boxes and before most of us got a look in, DB and his kids and DSiL were clawing at the food leaving nothing for the rest of us - there was a fair bit left too! Given I’d paid more than my share, arranged everything I’d have thought it’d be polite for my mother and I to have first dibs! None of them are particularly struggling financially- just frustrated at how rude they were! AIBU?