Am I the nightmare neighbour?

[pxris]

I live in an end terraced house connected to the alleyway a few of my neighbours and I use to take our wheelie bins out. My next door neighbour has access to my garden and then through my side gate in order to take his bins out (I have no control over this, and that’s fine). Tbh I’m happy he has to use my garden as it often means he brings my bins in/out without me having to ask!

But he gets a large number of visitors who for some reason never use his front door! There’s a constant stream of people in and out my back garden, they’re even using the back gate as well as the side gate and then leaving them open or unlocked all the time.

Toys are being stolen from my garden. My 2 year old almost ran out into the alleyway last week when I’d gone out to put rubbish in the wheelie bin not realising the side gate is “shut” but unlocked. It also feels like my garden is some sort of communal area for the whole estate. I’m tired of being in what should be the privacy of my own home and then looking up to see a random stranger looking at me through the window.

ABIU to put a lock on both of my gates and him only 1 key? I also want to put up a sign that says to keep the gates closed. I don’t even really want to put on lock on there as it will be an inconvenience on bin day but what else can I do? Just want everyone to F off but I don’t want to be seen as a nightmare neighbour.

Put links on the gates, tell ndn that people have been walking through your garden so you're going to have to keep it locked now.

Lock your garden. Strangers can go around to their fruends house.

Well check your deeds and see what the access definition is. It may specify certain use (like bins or deliveries to garden). Then talk to your neighbour before doing anything else? But be armed by facts.

Put a keypad lock on. They can have the code for bins only. Tell them your toddler found the gate open so you need to secure it,

Doesn’t feel like you are the nightmare neighbour -it actually sounds like a nightmare for you. But you do need to check the position with access before you put a lock on the side gates etc

Put the lock on, tell the neighbour why you have done this.

Lock on back gate, lock on side gate.
Surely he has access ONLY for moving bins and emergencies? There's no way there should be a constant stream of randoms walking through your garden, especially when you have a toddler.
I would buy the locks right away, and if he needs access to put the bin out he can have one key for the side gate only.

No don't use a key pad lock, he will just tell everyone the PIN.

Check your deeds, does he have right of way for access for bins only etc?

Then you tell him your toddler is being put at risk so you are locking it and he can have access to it on X day for bins.

Don't let him talk you down "I'll make sure people lock it behind" just repeat that you are padlocking it.

Did you post about this before? Just speak to him.

we have the same arrangement through our back gardens (terraced) and when the couple on the end had kids, they put a locked gate up for security and gave us all a key. Seemed sensible and no one had an issue with it. We weren't traipsing strangers through, just using it for bins, but had no issue with them wanting more security.

Buy a lock for your gate and only open it on bin day.

The deeds will probably say it's for general access not just bins as the access would have been for people to take coal through to their own houses when the houses were built (assuming it's a Victorian terrace or similar). But anyone with an ounce of common sense/courtesy wouldn't let their mates traipse through someone else's garden whenever they feel like it. Sounds like you're on reasonable terms with him so maybe just say it makes you uncomfortable and can he keep it for bins or emergency only. Sorry you are having this aggro. I've lived in similar properties but luckily for me people kept their wheelie bins out front.

I had the same problem with my last rental. Drove me insane. I have no solution as that houses deeds stipulated no lock. But when I eventually bought, it was a non-negotiable that I'd have no ROWs.

So no advise but immense sympathy.

As he sounds reasonable, could you simply ask him to tell his visitors to only use the front? My Dh had this arrangement, painful, frankly, as people would walk right past his kitchen window!

Have you spoken to him about it?

Depends on what your deeds say. If they say neighbours have access then not a lot you can do, and can't lock it.
Shared access arrangements like this always causes issues.

Yep lock on both gates and give him a key. Explain you have had toys stolen and toddler escaped.

We had a similar situation and we keep the gate locked for security. Only 2 neighbours had the combination, but as tenants changed none of them know it and haven't asked. It's actually a really onerous way to take bins out, and the two houses with access built bin shelters at the front because it was not convenient to walk 3 houses across and about 20 metres around the side of our house, navigating a locked iron gate, to take bins out.

This. Really state the toddler/safety aspect.

Fit the gate with a spring and slam lock so that it can't be left open/unlocked.

No decent person could argue with that.

Does he have right of access to the rear of his house through your garden or is it specifically limited to moving the bins.?

Is he only supposed to use the side gate & not the back gate?

You can probably install a lock on your back gate with no issue and not give him a key but if he does has some access right you will have to negotiate on the side gate.

You could start by checking your deeds to find out exactly what his access rights are and then have a conversation with him about what to do to stop so many people using his back door.

YANBU, the right of access is for taking bins out, not for random nosey visitors. I'd slap up a lock today and not think any more about it. And I would explicitly state your garden is private property and your neighbours visitors are not to have the code as you will not accept random people walking through. He's clearly allowing them to do it.

the right of access is for taking bins out, not for random nosey visitors.

Does it say that anywhere though? My back garden is the only way my neighbours access their house - them, their family, visitors, deliveries. It's just the way it is in some places

I would go down the route of not blaming him in the first instance but explaining how your toddler got out and that it’s shaken you so here is a key for bin day.

If he then continues to let people in that way you can have another chat about it.

Does he come and go through the back/your gates, or just his visitors?

If he comes through for general access it is probably because he has positioned furniture across his front door and can’t easily get in and out.

If he uses the front and his guests use the back they are fuckin weird.