Am I in the wrong?

[paulhollywoodshairgel]

My dd is about to go into year 10. She is friends with a boy in year above. I think they might be headed towards more than friends. Husband has freaked out as he's a year older. Wants to put a stop to it. My opinion is that she will just go behind our backs if that happens. I'd much rather her be open and honest and that we have more chance of keeping an eye on things?? She's a sensible girl and very open and I'd like to keep it that way!! Am I wrong?

Completely normal behaviour! My son has a girlfriend in the year below (both secondary) and it's absolutely fine! Your husband is being weird. Leave the girl alone other than to offer her advice on what's healthy/red flags. She needs to learn her own way.

Fwiw, I didn't approve of my sons choice when he went with the last girl, in the same year. All I did was share my concerns with him (her parents buy her vapes and as this, always have loads of kids round there) then left him to it. I even bought her Christmas presents! Because he needed to learn what's healthy in a relationship. He eventually dumped her as she was causing arguments every time he seen his friends without her. What I'm trying to say is, if you hold them too hard, they suffocate then eventually will be desperate to break free. Guide them but always let them live.

Thanks all. I reminded him that she will go her own way no matter what he says. She's a pretty open book and quite a little feminist so I don't think she'll take any shit 😂😂 from the boy or her dad 😂 I thought it was quite normal but sometimes I doubt myself like we all do! Thanks again!

Glad you have got some comfort here that you are not being unreasonable,. Completely agree that denying them a relationship, whatever that might be, may backfire. She won't thank you for it, or will carry it out anyway, in a less safe way than both of you might have wanted. If your OH cannot cope with it, it is probably one of those things I'm afraid, and maybe acknowledging his feelings might help and you should talk (but ask yourself, would have he coped in six month's time, a year's time or whenever?) If he cannot come round, you should be the guiding light and the listening ear, and your OH has to respect your role as it is quite a difficult one. You are not condoning it, you are understanding it, there is a massive difference. Hope it goes ok. xx