To think DH should have told me he sold this car

[Farkinell]

One of our daughters needed a newer car so we've upgraded her car, and wanted to sell her old car privately to maximise income from it.

It's taken longer than expected.

I went away for a couple of days over the weekend and came back late last night.

As I left the house this morning I noticed it wasn't on the adjoining road where it's been for about 4 weeks. I'd expressed concern about it looking unused on the road (I shifted it around a few times over the month to make it look as though it was being used regularly) abd had suggested a crook lock for it, but hadn't got round to that.

I called DH worried that it had been stolen, but he didn't reply.

I sent him a WhatsApp and about 90 minutes later he replied that he'd sold it over the weekend, forgot to mention it. He did reply as soon as he saw the WhatsApp, had been in meetings all morning. He was apologetic for not mentioning messaging me about it.

I've had a period of time thinking we'd got all the rigaramole of dealing with the insurance.

AIBU thinking he should have updated me?

I'd just be grateful it was sold, I have to do everything admin wise 😂

If I was WhatsApping then yes. I'd expect to know.

If he's a known idiot I would still not be happy but resigned to it.

The devil inside me would have an old lady moment and put laxatives in his coffee. I'm not as sweet as I used to be.

It's not the wondering where it was that people find odd. It's the fact that once your DH had told you where it was and apologised, that you are still thinking about it. Other than about how to spend the money.

I’d just be bloody grateful it had been shifted tbh. We have numerous cars (not showing off 😂) and I rarely notice them unless I’m walking towards one that I parked last to drive.
I’ve been away working and we are going on holiday tomorrow night, dh told me about 5 minutes ago that he’s organised someone to come and do some decorating while we’re away - he sorted it over the weekend but there wasn’t any need to update me at the time and he forgot to tell me last night. I’m absolutely delighted that I don’t have to arrange it and that we’ll be away for it all.

I think you're getting some silly responses on here. Of course you'd expect your DH to mention something like selling a car and being paid £4.5k! Anyone on here saying otherwise mustn't have that kind of relationship where you actually chat about things and mention things going on to one another.

I think you’re overreacting. The car needed to go and now it’s gone. I would rather have cute messages about my pets than a boring car any day! He just forgot.

Are you asking would I see the car had gone and just shrug my shoulders? Well no, I wouldn’t, and I don’t think anyone is suggesting you should have. But I’d do exactly what you did and ring up and check. I’d probably think my husband was a bit daft for forgetting to mention it, but once I knew that’s what had happened, that would be it - “mystery” solved.

You even said yourself that you sometimes move it to avoid it looking abandoned. That was another fairly likely explanation. A car you wanted to sell is sold; why are you making it into an issue?

It's not the wondering where it was that people find odd. It's the fact that once your DH had told you where it was and apologised, that you are still thinking about it. Other than about how to spend the money.

This

Has anyone actually said that they wouldn’t expect a message about it? Or is it actually that people are saying, “Yeah, he should have messaged but he forgot; no harm done”?

So you're just picking out the messages you want to, not the ones that say:

You're hard work
You're determined to make it a big deal
You have issues
Why are you running to a public forum

@Illbethereforyouuu

Here's a reply to I have issues.

@Illbethereforyouuu im not answering every poster, I've answered several.

I'm certainly not avoiding any that don't align with my view. HTH

I'm thinking of spending the money?

It's gone straight into an account to replace some of the money we used to get her the new car she needed.

What do you want me to do, reply to every single post? Even the OP isn’t doing that!

I was referring to the poster I quoted, not you OP.

I said the OP was getting some silly responses, you tried to shut it down saying people are not saying whatever, they are saying blah blah. So I pointed out all the comments of people being silly to the OP.

I was going to say something similar. As a widow I've just had to sell my rather old car, find another rather old car and deal with all the paperwork etc. It would've been bliss to have someone just take care of it all and £4,500 in the bank to boot.

I'd message him to ask if he'd moved it and when he replied no, he'd sold it as we were trying to do, I'd say 'Oh, right, it gave me a bit of a moment when I saw it was gone - do you want rice or pasta tonight?' and get on with my day.

He forgot to tell you, and apologised for forgetting. You'd already agreed between you you would be selling it. There's no issue here

Well obviously you disagree with me, but I don’t think it’s “silly” to tell the OP she’s making too much of it. I would think someone was hard work if they were still acting like a simple mistake was such a big issue!

I think this too.

At what point has she made an issue of it or acted like it was such a big issue? Have you read the thread? OP says she asked him about it, he replied, he apologised for not mentioning and OP accepted with no hard feelings. She has simply asked on a forum if people think it's strange to not mention selling a big item to your wife. These forums are to ask questions and get people's opinions.

Have you read the thread?

Of course I have.

She has simply asked on a forum if people think it's strange to not mention selling a big item to your wife.

And several people have said “Not really - he just forgot to message you”. Selling the car without telling her he even planned to - yes, that would be weird. But they’ve been planning to for the last month.

These forums are to ask questions and get people's opinions.

And I have and several others have offered opinions. They just happen to be different opinions to yours.

Well yes of course I'd ask him but I wouldn't get the arse that he forgot to tell me and feel the need to post about it