To privately judge this?!

[AboutmyMIL]

MIL has a new boyfriend. We met him briefly and both privately thought he seemed very young. We have since found out that this boyfriend is 24 years her junior. He was born the year before DH - so literally only 18 months older than her own son!

DH and MIL are not particularly close and I don’t think since he became an adult that MIL likes the idea of having an adult child and still feels very young herself. She has not acknowledged the fact she is going to be a grandma which is a shame for DH as I think he quietly hoped she would be more excited for him and us.

I would never openly judge anyone’s relationship age gap to their face or express my opinion that way but I am privately thinking WTF… how could you even see someone the same age as your son in that light? 🙈

I’d think “Blimey, that’s quite an age gap” but that would probably be the limit of my judgement, assuming the boyfriend seemed nice enough and they seemed happy.

A relative of mine is married to a man who is more than 20 years younger than her and of course everyone thought “Wow, he’s really young” when they got together, but they’ve been together for decades now. They really are incredibly well-suited and her two daughters adore him - her previous husband (their dad) was abusive and they were just delighted to see her happy with a sweet, kind man.

That’s right ages wise.

Wouldn’t it just. If my 24 ds came home with a nearly 50 yr old there’d be absolute hell to pay.

My ex's mum always saw herself as very youthful (and she was). She got together with a man 25 years her junior. Younger than her son! I admit I assumed it wouldn't last long but they were together well over 20 years until she died in her 70s. Her partner was, and is, devastated.
So yes their relationship was unconventional but they were very happy and a good match.
I feel as long they're both consenting adults, just let them get on with it. It'll last or it won't, which can be said of any relationship.

none of your business.
Thats what she wants. she dosent have to explain to you.

💯

Find that personally disgusting. Especially that he's around the same age as her own child. Tells you a lot about the type of person she is.

You are 'privately' judging and yet sharing your distaste with a load of strangers on the Internet? Classy.

Wow I am surprised how many ageist people there are on this thread. My In laws had a big age gap 18 years and they were married for over 40 years until he died at 95 a couple of years ago. They were both very happy.

Never falls to amaze me how adult children judge their parents - like previous posts have said not your business, and if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything.

Nothing not classy about posting anonymously, loads of posters on here post about families and friends. who’s classy enough for you?

I’m roughly that age, have children that age - no way would I have a relationship with someone the same age as my children - yes it’s weird and wrong.

It gives me the ick from both sides, older creepy man dating a woman 40 years his junior but also what would the woman in this scenario get out if it, oh yes… money! What folk do for financial security is their own business but Jesus wept 40 years is some gap! 🤢

Unless she's mega rich it probably won't last. He Will probably want children at some point and he won't get any with yoir MIL

I’m 50 but told I look younger. If I met a guy naturally (ie not online where you can generally see ages) and he was 30 but thought I was maybe 40 and we hit it off, then I don’t think I’d have an issue with dating him, even though my oldest DCs are late 20s.

it’s definitely a push with that sort of age gap, but just talking to my 18 y/o DD about dating age gaps and her DBro had a 23 yo GF at her age, which she thought was gross back then, but now sees how it might happen, as she’s working with some older guys that she gets on well with.

Age is just a number once you’re an actual adult, and especially past 25 or so when you’re fully done growing up (or should be!)