AIBU to be worried

[LTw75]

I’ve just logged on to do a Sainsbury’s online shop and in my favourites folder are condoms which I’ve never bought and my husband swears is not him… All other favourites match what has been previously purchased. I can’t help but worry he may be lying… AIBU?

He’s bought them in store with his Nectar card?

I’d struggle to believe he put them in the online shop unless you worked away from home a lot.

I would be suspicious. Sorry, OP.

I’m wondering if one of them could be your mystery shopper!

I would be suspicious. Unless your teens admit to buying them. When I was a teen I always got condoms for free, there were loads of places that gave them out. But the fact he cheated before...yeah, it doesn't look great.

They have been purchased by someone using your Nectar.

I’m a Sainsburys shopper and every item I’ve ever bought in a Sainsburys store or online has a red heart in my Favourites list.

Sorry OP (unless it’s one of your teens and in that case, be glad you’ve got sensible kids).

It is. If I buy stuff for my parents in the store near them, on to my Nectar faves they go. Ditto if they use my card.

Well it’s either teens or DH, who you say has form.

What happened before?

What's he doing abroad ?

Bit iffy before he went away....

Could well be a glitch. I noticed my “favorites” on Ocado this week included smoked salmon and cat food. I’m the only person who uses my account, I despise smoked salmon and have never bought it and I don’t have a cat!

Could he have bought them for your teenagers? Or lent them the nectar card to get the cheap offer. Are they older teens?

Some men would be Definitely stupid enough to not realise that they would show up online
sorry op it does sound likely he’s bought them unless you think you dc could have and used your nectar cards?

Thanks all for your comments and feedback.. I did consider my older teens and this wouldn’t be a problem, but I’ve confirmed they haven’t used the nectar card and so am pretty sure it’s not them…

DH is abroad visiting family and returning this evening… His prior five years ago means this is a huge red flag for me. But I wanted to understand the possibility of it being linked to algorithms before I push back hard on his denial.. It’s been very hard not to be suspicious of every little thing but this is really concerning. He regularly does shopping in store and he wouldn’t guess to think the history would link to my grocery account as he never does the online orders.

Not conclusive but from a blog about Sainsbury's online shopping:

And do you know what a favourite definitely isn’t? Something that Sainsbury’s has been paid to add to your list. Sadly, they do this and you’ll find your otherwise helpful list of favourites peppered with products that you didn’t add.

As condoms are currently on offer this could be feasible, but best to ask Sainsbury's directly before doubting your marriage.

Thank you so much. There are multiple additions that are sponsored and not really aligned to what I’ve bought in the past. The products with a ❤️ are definitely ones we’ve had before and this is the only item that is suspicious I’m afraid. And the particular condoms listed are not on offer so not sure this would be the reason. Really appreciate the perspective though so thank you x

I reckon he's bought them.

I don't use Sainsburys but Tesco are the same when you use the clubcard. Things come up as they been previously purchased.

But you played your cards too early here. So he will be extra careful now.

You should be able to request a copy of all transactional data on your nectar account from Sainsburys. It should show where and when they were bought if they were, and poss even payment card if linked I think.

www.nectar.com/about/privacy-and-legal/privacy-policy#PerData

Ok thank you. He set up the nectar account so will need to see if I can access when he’s back

They've been bought in store using your Nectar card or your husbands 😬

It's not an algorithm, it just records what has been bought online and in store.

He’s bought them in store not realising it will connect to the online account

Yes, he's bought them not realising it would then link to the nectar
card. This happened to me - not with condoms but with Haribos which I can't resist, purchased in store when on a diet and DH spotted them and teased me.

I shop at Sainsbury's multiple times a week and have done for years (online and in store).
Everything in mine is stuff I've purchased before. Sorry

There are 2 lists on the Sainsburys app: Favourites (red heart / it’s been purchased) and then the sponsored ‘would you like to buy’ list (no red heart / it’s not been bought).

If the condoms are in your Favourites, accompanied by a red heart, they have been purchased.

Sainsbury's recently emailed me calling me Raymond and discussing my online shopping.. I can assure you I am not Raymond and have never online shopped with Sainsbury's.. I do have and use a Nectar card in store only..

..or in that case use his nectar card when he's buying condoms 😄