Have name-changed for this, and am going to try to be vague with the details as I really don't want this to be identifiable!
I'm a woman in my late-20s, no DC, with two younger siblings. Our parents split up whilst I was at university, which was absolutely the correct decision, although my mum very quickly (one could say concurrently) met somebody else and moved him in very quickly. He is now my stepdad and I have a good relationship with him (which is mildly ironic).
We had quite a tough time growing up, and we have never been a particularly harmonious family. My dad was very self-absorbed with over-working and drinking, and my mum has never been particularly empathetic, but she tried so, so, so hard (until the divorce) to give us a good childhood on a very low income, and for that I am immensely grateful.
Just in the interest of not drip-feeding, one of my siblings became very difficult to manage in their teenage years, and my mum and stepdad eventually tried to get them placed in care. Instead they went to live with my dad in less than ideal circumstances, and went pretty much fully off the rails. Doing OK now, but still.
To come to the present day, I am living reasonably far away (same country), and my other siblings are a bit closer. Since university, I have not had any regular phone contact with either parent. My mum used to visit me once a year, but she's since stopped doing that, and if I ever bring up that I'd like more contact, she claims she "keeps up on social media". I've tried phoning her more etc in the past, but she's not that interested in just having a chat. The situation is pretty much the same with my siblings, one of whom is much more hurt by this than I am, as I have sort of come to accept that this is the sort of relationship she wants us to have. Our contact is now limited to her liking my social media posts, and a few operational exchanges on WhatsApp each year. My sibling has tried MUCH harder to establish more regular contact and is rebuffed.
My mum has, however, since the divorce, visited me, sent me birthday cards and presents etc, and we are invited for a family Christmas meal each year.
My dad is a different story altogether. Since the divorce, I have not once had a birthday or Christmas card from him, nor a present (although I am genuinely not that fussed present-wise). He doesn't really know where I live or what my job is, even though I have told him regularly, and has never been to visit me. We have a couple of phone calls and texts a year, and I make the effort to see him whenever I am in the area he lives. My other siblings see more of him through proximity, but the card etc situation is the same.
Both parents live in one bedroom places, my dad out of necessity, my mum and stepdad mostly, as far as I can tell, so none of us can threaten to move back. Neither parent is particularly interested in our lives, in fact my mum says she takes great care not to be "nosy", and that we can tell her if we want her to know things. We have very, very different political views, but I just choose to not engage with controversial topics.
To maybe complicate things further, I looked up a grandparent's probate out of interest a little while ago and discovered my mum had inherited a reasonably life-changing amount of money. She has not told us this, although did send us a very small (I mean, half my month's wage small) amount as "our inheritance". I don't feel we have any right to this money at all, it is hers. However, my siblings have had major money troubles, and she has helped really minimally. Some years back one ended up with no money at all in a situation that was not their fault, and she sent them a £50 loan.
I appreciate that I am a big girl and independent etc, but is it unreasonable of me to want to have more contact and more... care from my parents? I would just like them to phone us now and again, and to take some interest in our lives. I appreciate I am never going to be close with my parents, but it does feel very unfair when I see other parents with their adult DC who are close and loving, and it sort of feels like our parents are done with us.