Fire safety when visiting

[TortoiseT]

So we are staying with MIL ahead of a family get together in a holiday park later this week. Only a couple of nights because MiL has various eccentricities and staying with little kids can be quite stressful because of them. Her house is very cluttered with her inability to ever throw anything out. Yesterday evening we had an argument with my husband because I asked him to turn off the WiFi router overnight. It was warm to touch and connected to power through an old extension lead, which had lots of other things plugged into it as well. The problem is, apparently, that if you turn off the WiFi, a landline phone next to her bed in her bedroom upstairs, would start beeping. My husband had turned it off on our first night here, and apparently she had told him off yesterday morning because of the beeping. I told him to turn it off again last night, as I am very big on fire safety and one of my three kids was sleeping in the top bunk so I wasn’t going to take any risks. He told me he would rather not, because of the beeping. He agreed to plugging it straight into mains, instead of the extension lead. I then checked for fire alarms, and realised one of them (upstairs), was pulled out of the ceiling and the downstairs one had no batteries. Both look like they are from the 1980s. I put my foot down and told him to either creep in and take landline away from mum’s bedside (she has a mobile so she would have access to a phone overnight), or to turn WiFi off. I’d turned everything else off eg TV and tried to do washing machine but it didn’t have a safety switch and the didn’t manage to get into cupboard due to clutter. I am super safety aware because it just takes that one night when something sets on fire, and with the amount of clutter in her house, it would have awful consequences. I would have no qualms about going into my parents’ room to get a landline away and having to explain if they woke up, but my husband’s family don’t even wear pyjamas in front of each other, so entering his mum’s bedroom completely freaked him out. I told him I wouldn’t stay again until he would help her fix her fire alarms. Was I unreasonable?

That’s too much. Your DH is stuck between super anxious wife and cluttered mum. Make sure you know access out routes and that the door is easily openable (my mil locks up and puts the key elsewhere, I insist on leaving it in the door overnight.) Nothing else.
because anxiety sucks

I would get your DH to suggest to his mum that she gets a Safe and Well visit from the local fire service. They’re free and they will suggest ways to reduce fire risks and may also fit smoke alarms for your MIL.

For the sake of everyone's sanity, stay at the local Premier Inn next time.

Umm. The router is not going to combust over night.

Sorry but if visitors came to my house and started messing about with my router and other electricals, and disabled my phone line (much more of a hazard!) they’d have been staying the very last time.

YABU and overly anxious about the router / TV / dishwasher. Insisting everything is turned off at the mains is extreme.

YANBU about the fire alarms, but that is an easy fix with a quick trip to the shops.

My in-laws house is full of clutter but it has never crossed my mind to unplug all their appliances - they haven’t burst into flames thus far.

It would be ridiculous to unplug the router and then creep into his mother’s room to unplug the phone. Imagine if this was posted from the MILs perspective.

Oh wow you're super anxious!

Next time just bring 2 fire alarms (upstairs and down) and a carbon monoxide detector and crack on. Not sure what the top bunk has to do with anything. You also need to see your GP about your anxiety. Or stay elsewhere.

Also just to add in the UK the plugs etc are fused. We also have fuse boards which switch off when needed/if there's a fault. The chance of a fire is slim and these days is usually caused by external forces such as smoking, cooking or dodgy £1 chargers off ebay.

The smoke alarms not working properly are the main danger.

It’s very weird to turn off the WiFi router in your own home overnight never mind someone else’s!

You turn your washing machine and router off every night? I've never heard of anyone going to such lengths each day.

My SIL did this when she visited. She doesn't stay overnight with us anymore. Better for all concerned.

You sound like hard work. None working smoke alarms is no good I agree, and the clutter meh, but the obsessiveness about electrical items randomly bursting into flames is a bit much.

You obviously have an extreme anxiety. I would focus more on getting help for this rather than blaming other people who are hosting you.

This. Much less stressful all round.

YABU. I would also suggest your anxiety levels need attention more than your MIL's household electrics.

If you put the phone on the charger before you turn off the WiFi then it just beeps once or twice and then shuts up.

You are right to be fire conscious - I am too ,as we had reason to be very thankful indeed for a smoke alarm on one occasion.

However - I do not switch off router, or washing machine or dishwasher or TV at the wall etc. But I did have a free fire safety visit, as I have impaired mobility and have a stair lift. He was very helpful - sorted smoke alarms and escape routes - and said nothing about switching things off as you feel the need to do.

Ridiculous. If you stay with family you take them as you find them. If you can't do that, stay in a hotel. And routers are designed to be switched on 24/7!

I don’t mean this to sound as arsey as it’s going to but surely if you were that bothered you’d have headed straight out to buy two fire alarms? I got a twin pack at my local Range store for about £23 and get a brand new extension lead while you’re at it. Yes, you shouldn’t have to but if the router/extension lead were to cause a fire you’d presumably have all died from smoke inhalation before you were even aware of any fire with not one single working smoke alarm in the house 🙈

I wouldn’t be happy to stay somewhere without a smoke alarm either but my first thought would be to get one pronto rather than unplug anything trying to prevent a fire I wouldn’t even be alerted to!

YABU. You need to get some help for your anxiety, it sounds very unhealthy and I worry for your kids. Did you drive to your MILs? As that is probably more statistically hazardous than a potential house fire.

You wanted to turn off the router???

That is some serious levels of anxiety..

See a therapist and stay at a travelodge from now on.

Ifs it's very elderly electrics overloaded yanbu. It takes minutes for a fire to start and seconds to rip through a building. I wouldn't stay there in those circumstances

Routers require very small amounts of electricity.

This is a good idea - if she’ll let them in!

I’m a H&S professional with qualifications in fire safety. I do think you’re being too anxious about switching everything off at night - the risk of fire from correctly used, undamaged appliances is low. BUT there are several worrying things about your MIL’s house, so I can understand why you’re more keen to switch things off in these circumstances.

One is the use of old extension leads with loads of things plugged into them. Another is the lack of smoke alarms. The clutter isn’t great as it adds to the fire loading of the house - lots of combustible stuff which will make a small fire turn into a big one much faster - but the more urgent things here are prevention (plug things in directly where possible, don’t use old leads) and detection (working smoke alarms). I doubt whether you’ll get far with the clutter situation.

Someone mentioned that all appliances are on fused plugs. This doesn’t stop fires, at all. Overheating isn’t always caused by overcurrent. We have small fires and “smoulder” incidents where I work and in all workplaces, and a good few involve electrical appliances- and I have pictures of plugs that have burnt! The difference is that at work, the smoke alarm goes off and everyone gets out of the building via fire protected corridors and clear staircases. It’s much more dangerous in someone’s home, when people are sleeping, especially in the condition of MIL’s house.

In any case the clutter and “eccentricities” would be enough to put me off staying there at all.