To not visit MIL?

[FlyingSoap]

We’ll be passing by MIL’s (40 miles away from home) later on today. DH thinks we should call in as we haven’t seen her in a couple of weeks. I’m on day 3 of a rubbishy cold. I think it’s just a common cold (COVID test negative) but a couple of my colleagues at work have had COVID so it could be that too and yet to show up on a test.

I am reluctant to visit MIL today because she is undergoing chemotherapy. DH has reasoned she’s very lax about keeping herself safe and will go to the supermarket, events and restaurants like she did before. I think it’s totally different running the risk of coming into contact with something vs knowingly going when you are not feeling well and having symptoms of a virus no matter how mild. I don’t want to take that into her home, so we won’t be going. It got me thinking though, am I being OTT thinking like this?

I wouldn't. I totally agree with you.

Nope you are not being ott

You are being very sensible.
Would you want to be blamed if she gets poorly, even with a cold, which can be very debilitating.
Phone her. Explain. It’s up to her then but at least you’ve given her a choice.
(Could you wear a mask?)

Explain to her and give her the option then if she says yes wear a mask and keep your distance and try not to touch loads of surfaces.

Please don't visit. If your MIL got ill after you'd been, you'd never forgive yourself. I had to visit my mum in a care home on Friday, I have a nasty little cold (not Covid) so I wore a mask. I dropped off the stuff I'd taken and the staff bustled me out in eight minutes. They didn't say, but obviously I was a danger to the residents.

I agree it’s totally different running hypotheticals of maybe being in proximity of strangers who MIGHT be ill vs being in close contact with someone who IS actually ill. You wouldn’t forgive yourself, he undoubtedly wouldn’t forgive you if she got really poorly.

I also wouldn’t be impressed if someone came to my home with a cold, never mind Covid. I’m a reasonably fit and in early 30s but I often care for an older, vulnerable relative. People can never assume that others “will be fine” catching something.