Advise me please . Kick up the arse or relax

[labougie]

My son is 14. He has massive separation anxiety until he is with his cousins and family members, meaning that he does not leave my side unless he is comfortable.

People are mean to him . He doesn't know how to respond despite years of therapy and management .
He hates school and has no friends .
He sits beside me all. Day and all night unless he is uncomfortable.
He will not
Implement any suggestions, tactics or skills that he is trained in.
He simply refuses to engage socially despite so much intervention.
Simply he won't .. whether he is not ready or is comfortable in our home sitting around all day watching tv unless he is with me.
I find this incredibly frustrating .
I've put all interventions in but he just will not try to socialise.
He plays victim
At every level .
In his eyes , everyone is against him z, when
They are not . When they try to have fun , he feels attacked .
When people make an effort , he refuses to engage .
I
Am utterly exhausted . He feels bullied by me. He feels unloved and uncared for . He hates when I spend time with my other children and reacts very aggressively.
I am A single and lone parent.
Am I too tough?do I let this go now ?
I live him but don't
Like him at times . I
Am
Utterly trapped. Please help
Me

Anyone please ?

Sounds like you’re both having a tough time. Much sympathy to you.

Is there a reason for all this? Is he autistic, or depressed, or traumatised, or something else? Usually knowing the reason helps to determine what course of action to take.

He's traumatised and depressed and anxious. It's so complex . Thanks
For replying

OMG! This must be incredibly difficult to deal with OP, can YOU speak to his therapist and get some advice on how to handle this, or are they only available to him?

How often does he see his cousins and other family members, and can you say why you think he's more comfortable with them, than with others. Presumably something happened when he was younger, which has scared him, and has made him unable to deal with normal social situations, if this is the case, can you give us any clues, so that we might be able to suggest some ways of helping?

Poor kid. No wonder he’s so focused on you.

I don’t think there’s a quick fix for this kind of thing, especially if he’s traumatised. Is there anyone he’s comfortable spending time with who could stay with him while you get a bit of a break? Ideally on a regular basis? It’s incredibly stressful looking after an unhappy teenager, and you need to consider your own emotional needs too, otherwise it’s harder to offer him the support he needs.