To finish the chat with man on line

[gemmasgreysweater]

We've been
Chatting for weeks. I went on holiday and then he did. He's back a week. We text most days .
He had suggested a coffee in the first week. I accepted. He hasn't mentioned it since.
Last night I text him To say that as we had been chatting for the week since he came home and as we were both free this weekend and as he didn't invite me for that coffee, we may as well just leave things as I didn't want a pen pal but wished him well.
Was I being unreasonable?
He hasnt even responded.

Could you have invited him for a coffee?

Perfectly reasonable. If you've not met within a week I can't see the point in a penpal either,

No I think it's fine to have done what you did.

My initial thought was I'd have just stopped responding rather than send that awkward message. But actually it's good that you did. We should feel free to express ourselves. I think he was stringing you along but if he wasn't, then he's learnt that his inactivity lost him a date with a lovely lady. And he knows for the next time. Good for you.

I chat for a few days (less than a week). Either they ask me for a coffee or I ask them. If neither of us are in the position to say yes due to holiday, work etc then stop chatting until you are in a place to meet. That’s it. Anything else is people just enjoying chatting. Which is fine, but be upfront about it.

And ‘coffee’ = daytime, can get away with half an hour unless it’s good in which case you can extend or plan another meet. I wouldn’t agree to a meal with a complete stranger. I know plenty of women say it has to be a ‘date’ but to me a first meet is just that, a first meet.

Maybe I'm missing something. Wouldn't it have been simpler and more egalitarian to just suggest a coffee?

He invited me for coffee before his holidays. He didn't bring his phone... or at least his phone that has tinder on it ... text when he got home and never followed through on his invite after a week.
I had accepted his invite so didnt feel the need or want to ask him.
If he had wanted to, he would have ..
That's what I thought anyway..

How can you be being reasonable or unreasonable in this situation?
Just do what you like.

I guess I'm asking if I was too hasty or were my hard fought for boundaries in good working order, in
your
Opinions?

I can assure you, he isn't giving this any of the thought you are. Or any whatsoever.

@arethereanyleftatall and that's absolutely ok ... I'm not worrying about his opinions on the matter at all BUT is there a need to be so bitchy?

I hadn't meant it to be bitchy whatsoever. For me, it helps me to not give head space to people who won't be giving any to me.

Fine line between cutting your nose off to spite your face. If I was invited somewhere I have no issue asking about the plans if they are not forthcoming.

YANBU.