To find it peculiar when people tell others that they are “jealous”

[CruCru]

I’ve noticed (mainly on here) that people are telling others (usually the OP but not always) that they are “just jealous”. Usually of something that isn’t that big a deal.

I find this a bit weird. It seems to be a way to shut women up (pretty much no one accuses men of being jealous) in the same way that calling them a “Karen” used to. Jealousy and envy are actually rather rare emotions - reading that a random on the internet has a handsome boyfriend is unlikely to provoke envy.

Who is jealous? Bit confused by your post.

There’s someone who has said that others are “just jealous” of her fur coat, there’s been a thread in relationships where an OP told everyone that they were “jealous” because her boyfriend was good looking, there’s a thread on VAT on private schools where someone has said that someone else is “just jealous”. It’s weird.

It's just as often that people reassure the Op that others are "just jealous".
Often with no evidence other than the fact someone doesn't like the OP.

I was very badly bullied at school, at hobbies, a church youth group FFS!!!

EVERY female adult I told said "they are just jealous!"

This followed me into a good chunk of my 20s. Lots of "bitchiness" from other young women, me catching sly looks, eye rolls, open mocking etc. If I had a quid for every "you're sooooo weird".

I'd ask sometimes, why I got picked, direct from the horse's mouth.

"It's cos you're so weird. It's EVERYTHING about you. The way you speak. The way you move. The things you say. You're just really really weird."

But the non-bullies... "they're just jealous".

Then...in my late 30s I had an assessment that changed my life.

I've several ND diagnoses.

And it really angers me that when people kept saying I was being bullied because people were jealous and I was begging to know the real reason, this "jealous" nonsense meant I continued not to realise that I wasn't neurotypical.

The funniest one I've heard recently is 'you're just jealous' in response to not loving/worshipping/being obsessed by Taylor Swift.
The fur coat one is quite funny too.

Yeah I know what you mean OP, to me it's very infantile /immature justification for anything in life.

There can be envy, there can be resentment and regret, but for anyone to label it as "just jealous" seems too simple for the complexities and idiosyncrasies of other humans. Who knows why anyone says/does any of their weird shit.

YANBU

It's a lazy thing people slap out on their keyboard when they can't be bothered to think of a more likely reason.

Just like when they say to an OP, "I bet you look gorgeous".

Isn't it just? I couldn't name a Taylor Swift song at gunpoint. And anyone can snap up an old fur coat in still-good condition from vintage sellers. Not that I understand why they'd want to. They feel repulsive and smell like a dog in the rain!

I think they think they're being nice.

Oh no you're not whatever, they're just jealous.

It's not you it's them.

I think people say it when they want the person they're saying it to to feel better.

I agree, OP. I think people just say it to deflect criticism or disapproval of their choices.