To be annoyed with friend cancelling last minute ?

[wardrobescmose]

My good friend introduced me to her friend around 10 years ago.
We are friends but not as close as she is to good friend.
This girl is getting married on Wednesday and my good friend (we will call her Kelly ) is invited to the wedding and night do.
The wedding is only for a small number of people so totally understand why I was only invited to night do.
It's a hour away from me and I don't have a car,so was getting public transport (bus ) and then a taxi.
I said to my good friend a month ago it's quite far for me to get too and she made a song and dance "oh you have to come,it's her wedding ,we will be together ,I know you don't know anyone but it will be great ,why don't you stay at mine on the night "

So anyway booked the day off work
Bought my outfit
She text saying "sorry I've decided I'm not going to bother with the night do ,only the wedding "

That's it ...so I've taken a day off work
The bride thinks I'm going
I've bought a outfit
I know nobody else and she's turned around and said that
Aibu to be annoyed here ?

I’m sorry this has happened, and YANBU at all. I’d be annoyed if I was you. Has your friend said why she’s not going to the evening bit and just the wedding?

I know this is a tough one, and I also appreciate it’s you that’s going, not me. If I was you though, I think in this situation I might go anyway, to make the most of it - although I do realise it’s very daunting when you don’t really know anyone there. If you decide to go, I hope you have a lovely time.

@ComingUpTrumps she said she's at the cinema the next day and doesn't want a late night

That seems unfair, as it’s quite a flimsy reason, especially considering it sounds like you’ve really put yourself out to attend the wedding and it was at her request in the first place.

I’m sorry for sounding judgemental - I’m just trying to imagine how I’d feel in this situation. I wouldn’t be happy. Have you thought about telling your friend how much you’ve gone out of your way to attend the wedding? Not to be passive aggressive or anything, but more so she realises how much of a challenge it’s been for you to be in a position to go to it.

Also, could it be that actually your friend doesn’t really want to go to the wedding? Perhaps that’s why she wanted you to go with her so much - except, now, she’s actually decided she really doesn’t want to go at all? I’m just wondering.

I’d be saying “no no you have to be there! You persuaded me to go … and tell her all your prep”

I'm really fuming tbh
I know I should just be like whatever but it's a bit blah I think

The reception doesn’t have to be a late night. You could both leave at 10 go to bed as soon as you got to her place and then she’d be well rested for the cinema.

There is a whiff of bullshit about her reason for cancelling. If she sticks to it just explain that to the bride and say you regretfully won’t be attending as friend has changed arrangements.

Don’t be surprised if that is all news to the bride.

I completely get that and you have every right to be!

I’d be furious. Take the outfit back and go to work.

Not unreasonable to be disappointed in your friends behaviour here. Is this typical of her behaviour?

Opinions may vary here but I don't think that the evening do of a wedding is a huge deal, surely it's just a buffet and a disco. For a day invitation I'd keep my commitment as that's catered and more expensive but I wouldn't feel bad about bailing on an evening do.

Do you think she's still going but tricking you into pulling out?

@MrTiddlesTheCat she's still going to the wedding but then going home after the meal
I wasn't invited till 7pm on the night
She won't be there for that

If I was the bride (her good mate!) then I’d be fuming at a day guest who can’t be arsed to stay for the evening as she’s going to the cinema the next day!!!! She really ought to go and stay and you should go too, even if you both leave fairly early evening

Has she been trying for a baby by any chance? Could she be pregnant?

I’m normally pretty laid back about people flaking on plans but this would annoy me

The cinema? That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard.

@Psychoticbreak no she's single and deffo not pregnant

She's just text saying
Awww sorry but I just want to be fresh the following day
It's gonna be too long of a day if I stay all day

Text her back and say "but I'm only going because you talked me into going!“

I’m sorry, OP. This is a tricky situation for you to deal with and it’s obviously not fun for you. How would you feel about being open with you about how she’s made you feel? I think you’re well within your rights to tell her how you’re feeling because of her no longer going to the wedding.

I'd reply,

"Well, I'm sorry, but you said we'd be there together and I could stay at your house. You're really letting me down last minute. I appreciate you've decided you don't want to go but more notice would have been nice, it's put me in a difficult situation now".

YANBU at all, I can't believe she'd;

1. let you down like this
2. let the bride down so last minute, over what, a cinema trip? How f-ing rude. You don't just skip a wedding reception last minute for other plans. She clearly puts her own wants above everything else.

I'd ditch her. Block her and move on.

You sure she's not planning on taking someone else from the wedding home?...

Just explain to the bride that your plans depended on x and now that she has decided she needs to be 'fresh' for the cinema you won't be able to make it. Return the outfit (unless you love it!) and job done.

If that leaves you with an expensive journey home I'd say so seeing as she's left it very last minute for you to politely cancel at a small wedding. Can you get a bus home at a reasonable time or still stay with her? I wouldn't cut someone off for this but it is a dick move .

@Catlord no I don't think so
It would be a case of getting a taxi to the bus station then 2 busses
It's probably gonna take nearly 2 hours

YANBU, especially as she’s bailing on the evening do because she’s going to the cinema the next day?! It’s a film, not a hike up Ben Nevis. How ‘fresh’ does anyone need to be to sit in a comfy chair and inhale popcorn for two hours?

She sounds like a selfish dick.