I’ll try and keep this brief. Me and husband (refer to as H) are separated. He had an affair. We have a 9 month old together. I’m living in the family home and he lives with his parents (5 bed house so plenty of space). We officially split when baby was 6 months old. I have done 90% of looking after our child since he was born.
I'm still on maternity leave but about to start KIT days with work. I have proposed that we have a schedule in place moving forwards for him seeing our child as that makes life easier and more convenient for us all. Before he would just message the week before when he wanted him (well I would have to message him and constantly chase). He is a shift worker and works 4 on 4 off. I have suggested he has him 2 days/ 1 night around my KIT day (so he picks him up morning before kit day and then back with me evening of kit day). I chose all my kit days in the 4 days I know he’s off work. That way he gets 2 free days where he is work/ child free. And I get 1 day where I’m work/ child free.
He is saying that arrangement is not fair and doesn’t work for him. He wants to have him from the evening before my kit day until the evening of my kit day. He says he woudn’t feel confident having him for 2 days. If I thought that was a genuine reason then fair enough. But he’s never expressed not being confident with him before. He’s had him for 2 days/ 1 night on multiple occasions. He even asked to have him for 3 days and 2 nights a couple of weeks ago. He also lives with his mum and dad who can help out. The arrangement he wants means my only child free time would be the day I’m at work.
AIBU with my proposed schedule? He’s saying it needs to be a joint decision but I’m not happy with his counter proposal. I feel like my offer was more than fair for the both of us.