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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sad teacher … at a crossroads

11 replies

LanaL · 20/07/2024 10:29

I am a teacher , i had my first job in a school and i loved the children but the job was demanding and soul destroying. I left as it was negatively affecting my mental health. I left at Easter 2 years ago and worked supply since . The money is fine on supply until the holidays - when I still work , 2 days per week , but it’s a financial struggle. I decided I wanted out of teaching - I couldn’t do supply forever ( I have only done one term ECT so I can only do 5 years of supply until I have to do the rest of my ECT) . Commitments at home are a factor . My eldest is disabled and attends college but I’m awaiting a decision on transport for September and if it’s not awarded I have no idea how they’re going to get there as it’s the other side of the city and can’t travel independently, only option is paying £100 a week in taxis or me driving - which obviously doesn’t fit around teaching .

I applied for and got a civil service role - still going through checks no confirmed start date etc . This role is 3 days office , 2 days home - flexible - ish ( but haven’t had the chat I just know shifts are between 7am and 8pm ) .. but I may be able to request 60% home instead of 40% due to caring responsibilities but this is all up in the air. It’s £200 a month less than what I would get full time teaching , but as I’m supply I am up and down so it’s more stable and it’s every month .

Im undecided about the CS role - although I’ve accepted - but I have heard there’s quick progressing so I’m hoping I can move up quick and maybe get a more flexible role there but that’s not guaranteed .

Now another spanner - I have just left a long term supply. I was offered a job there and declined as I didnt feel I could mentally do a whole year. The school was lovely but the workload as supply was high , along with a very challenging class - and I thought if it’s like this as supply ( no planning , no observations ) then I would struggle as permanent . But , after leaving yesterday I feel so sad . I had so many gifts , so many lovely handwritten cards from parents telling me how I have helped their child , the children were all crying , I had the staff and head telling me how amazing I had done …. And this is calling to that part of me that went in to teaching to help children , it’s like it’s calling to that part of me that dreamt of being a teacher and worked so hard to get there … before that part was destroyed by that same career .

I feel really unsure now of what to do and I don’t know if it’s just end of year , emotional and I’m looking back through rose tinted glasses !

OP posts:
Illbethereforyouuu · 20/07/2024 10:35

Think about yourself and what works for you, in the long run you'll be much happier.

Latenightanxiety · 20/07/2024 10:52

I think unfortunately the job you want to do doesn’t exist. I’m a TA with a degree who got my job as I wanted to be a teacher but then seeing it just as a TA I realised it wasn’t what I thought and that it really would take up more time and mental energy than I was willing to give especially once we started having children.

HerculesShipwright · 20/07/2024 11:16

Cards are lovely but they don't pay the bills or fix mental health problems. Grab the CS roll it sounds great. If you want to work with children you could find a local brownies or guides group and volunteer.

Bluevelvetsofa · 20/07/2024 11:30

I think you need some certainty and routine. Supply will never be that and if the thought of full time teaching is daunting ( and I agree with you in your situation) the CS job will be better.

You might be bored. On the other hand, you might progress quickly and a regular income and pension is not to be sniffed at.

Meadowwild · 20/07/2024 11:33

The CS job would not be such a heavy workload. No marking and planning at night. You could supplement the shortfall of income by doing 2 or 3 tutoring sessions a week one evening or weekend morning each week. Or by doing exam marking (not sure the pay is good on that.)

I'd go for CS job, steady, less stress, some WFH to help with caring issues. Life can work out cheaper when you are less stressed anyway - time to clean your own house, prep fresh, cheap food etc.

Flivequacle · 20/07/2024 11:41

It's such a shame, isn't it? All these teachers like you, who really want to help children progress and succeed and are willing to work hard for that. But teaching in many schools now that give no thought to reasonable workload, with no support staff and erratic APP - every day is a marathon in which the finish line is unattainable. Then you do it again the next day.

Until you leave.

Take the CS job.

BCBird · 20/07/2024 11:45

Teacher here of nearly 30 years. The cards snd kind words whilst being lovely, do not make up for excessive workload and difficult class. Take the CS job and see how u get on. I am leavin nxt yr- 5 yrs early. Good luck OP

MumofSpud · 20/07/2024 11:52

I left my school yesterday - yes all the kind words / cards etc were fab and for a teeny nano second I thought what have I done e but then I remembered why I am leaving!

Kentuckycriedfrickin · 20/07/2024 12:02

MumofSpud · 20/07/2024 11:52

I left my school yesterday - yes all the kind words / cards etc were fab and for a teeny nano second I thought what have I done e but then I remembered why I am leaving!

Same, I had a wobble about it then SLT came along to spread some last day of term fuckery and I was reminded of exactly why I am leaving.

Take the CS job. It's less pay now but it's steady, they're pretty good on flexible working, you'll have full sick pay, paid care leave (e.g., child is sick at school and you need to leave) as well as a dependable income. There's progression in the CS too as they still tend to recruit from within, they also have graduate fast track promotion programmes that you might be able to access as you have a degree.

NewYearNewJob2024 · 20/07/2024 12:07

Take the CS job!!!

Good luck OP!

Se12345 · 09/10/2024 21:37

I want to leave as well, so I’m holding back from applying to another permanent teaching role hoping I can find something somewhere else.

What is the CS role you accepted if you don’t mind ?

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