Anyone else find their 20s really tough and like mine?

[malificent7]

In context I was recovering from a cobtrolling relationship, earing disorder and toxic childhood. Don't I sound fun?!
I had to drop out of ubi aged 21 due to all of above but managed to get well, get back to uni and gain a degree, pgce and travel. I also managed to have " fun" which in my case meant drinking to excess and lots of sex.
Mostly I found the hardest bit other women who I often compared myself to and there was lits of competition over men and beauty standards. I felt us women were always sizing each other up especially if there were attractive men around. There was lots of bitchynesd. I suppose this was natural as we were all looking for mates.
Is this a common experience among women in their 20s? I am much happier now in my 40s as it feels like there is more camerarderie amongst women.
I am getting assessed for asd which may of heightened things.

Sorry for typos!
Uni*

I recall a little competitiveness but nothing as bitchy as you describe? Although thinking about it, I now remember that I found out (years after the event) that my “friend” told a very nice guy that I was deaf, but a very good lip reader (I have perfectly good hearing) presumably to deter him from asking me out!

God my 20s were a mess. We were all taking loads of drugs, off our heads all weekend then coming down all week, rinse and repeat. Being shit at jobs, getting sacked, getting in to debt for holidays and new clothes. Friendships were transient, housing was precarious. It was a crazy time, and maybe I should have done things differently, but ultimately I had a load of fun, no harm was done, I knuckled down in my later 20s, worked hard in my 30s, and I'm now in the same position as most people,many of who swatted their way through their 20s.

I had a lot of fun too ...it was a mess though! I just remember wanting to look for love and often I liked the same guy as a prettier girl but hey...I ended up with a good one aged 35.
I guess maybe me being me read a lot into other people's intentions.

My twenties were awesome.

40s are hardest so far, aging parents, still helping kids - its the middle generation and trying to help the youngers and olders , its hardddddddddddddddd and menopause to boot, fuck me id give anything to be 27 again

In my 20s I got married and worked two jobs to pay for a mortgage that was 2/3 of my salary. I remember hunting down the back of the sofa and in jars to afford the bus fare for work, and being left standing in the dark by a horrible bus driver because I was 10p short of the fare. I had horrible neighbours who screamed and shouted at all hours, and once pushed mouldy bread through my door which my cat ate and made him sick. I never had a holiday, and never ate in a restaurant until in my 30s. I sewed and knitted my own clothes, and had my hair unfashionably long because I couldn’t afford a hairdresser. We had no tv, microwave or washing machine. But most of my friends were the same.

I broke up with my childhood sweetheart from sixth form which was sad. I had worked in the NHS from 18 in a clinical role. So upped sticks and went to University as a mature student moving a few hundred miles away. I didn’t seek the approval of men and didn’t experience the bitchiness that you write about. So mid twenties onwards was spent studying, working and going down to London every other week to party with my school friends who had relocated there when we were 18. I did live in pretty grim housing in Birmingham as it was very cheap but it was a fantastic time for me. I did date after a break of about 18 months a well off guy, he used to really spoil me. Parents disapproved of match on both sides as different religions so broke up after a year, ended up with DH aged 31, met at work and together almost 28 years.

I guess each of us experience was different. I regret seeking the approval of men but I guess I realky wanted to settle down.

There's a bit of a fallacy on MN that your 20s are for uni, travelling, partying, and still getting to CEO by 29 (I exaggerate of course) but you're not allowed to marry or have kids because that would be Hicksville, you can meet your partner but travel and LIVE extensively. That's the only way your 20s can be enjoyable and that's the only way we'd want our kids to live. In real life, amongst the people I know, that wasn't real life for most of us. It puts a lot of pressure on young people and frankly a lot of people can't afford that lifestyle today. I'm happy with how I spent my 20s, I didn't do it all, but I never felt the pressure to do it all in my 20s and I don't feel like my life ended when I had kids so I'm still just ticking along living how I want to live.

So don't obsess over your 20s, it is one decade in many, no one wants to peak at 25, you have many more fun years ahead of you I'm sure!

My 20s were a hot mess I was 2 steps away from “Britney and her umbrella” at points.

started getting it together in 30s

40s I have high hopes for….

I absolutely loved my 20s, I'm in my 40s now and look back at my 20s with such fondness.

I'd recovered from awful anxiety that had ruined my teen years, I went to uni and qualified as a nurse, I had lots of great friends, I travelled to America for two consecutive summers, I had freedom and felt comfortable in my own skin.

I ended up pregnant towards the end of my 20s which bought me down to earth with a bang though 🙈

I think if you were recovering from an ED you would definitely be more sensitive to other people's appearance and feel insecure about yourself. I'm glad you're happier now op.