To think I’ve missed out on an exciting life by never living in London?

[uuuuup]

Just that really. I can’t get it out of my head. I’ve lived in a large city and loved it and it makes me wonder how much I would have loved London. I’m all settled now with a child elsewhere. I feel I’ve missed out on so much?

Tbh you are correct in that sense. I was born in London. It is brilliant when you're young and, yes, carefree. I moved out in my 40's with kids because it's expensive and busy and bits of it are pretty dangerous. You end up doing the same things you do anywhere else except in a more expensive and crowded area, trying to drag kids around on the tube sardine crushed with other people and queuing to get into places. I plan to go back when I retire, and wouldn't mind my kids going back when they are young adults.

My Mother was from London and there was about two years in my twenties where I spent almost every other weekend in London with friends. I did also live there briefly. Wasn’t for me overall but was a fun time. I remember slamming tequilas at parties, going to Notting Hill carnival, being kissed in Hyde Park on a date, singing Christmas carols on Clapham Common very drunk and wandering around museums and galleries alone. None of it would have been possible with a child in tow in the same way. Where my Mum lived when young is an absolute shithole now.

I'd be interested to know the areas that people think have got worse in the last 15-20 years. And how they'd quantify worse

@OneTC I've been in London for almost 18 years and over the years I've seen certain areas become more run down as retailers go bust and close down and a shopping area becomes a waste land of boarded up shops or shops becoming vape shops/American candy shops etc (that's Oxford Street I'm referring too).
There's areas with homeless people living in tents next to historical monuments (Hyde Park/Marble Arch area).
That's just a couple of examples.

Agreed.

OP, yes, obviously in a way. I lived in London for ten years and loved it. DH and I lived in a series of scuzzy flat shares, then bought a tiny one-bed we were virtually never in. You can actually have a great time pretty cheaply. I love art, opera, classical music, theatre, cinema, and were so many ways of doing these things cheaply or for free. I left in 2012, after I had DS and moved jobs, and no longer live in the UK, but I go back for a weekend when I can, and am always delighted I had the privilege to live and work there.

We can all find something that we wished we had done

London is still here it’s not going anywhere can always visit and often visitors make the most of London rather than those that have lived here

I agree it’s the best city in the world and I have been lucky to be born and loved here all my life apart from periods living abroad but I can still lost things I wished I had done

Born and bred in London, partner the same. We both left several years ago for a beautiful life in the country and it is so much better. We visit sometimes, but that is enough. Cannot wait to leave after - and we are literally from there.

Also, my partner who is from East London was ultimately put off by the gentrification of the area. It's all so transient now, trendy students move there then eventually having to move on as it's so expensive, formerly thriving communities dismantled due to house prices, rich young couples (often not even from London) moving into these houses that were once working class. It's pretty soulless now, lots of trendy psuedo-culture. It's a shame.

I live in London and love it - but to think it's the only place/city to have a great life is probably unfounded.
The other thing to remember is that a lot of people actually live a fair distance from the centre - so a lot of travelling in and out.
I initially lived in zone 5 - end of a tube line, fortune to get a cab home at night. When I first moved to zone 1, I spent six months going to clubs with the joy that I could walk home or get a cab for £5 (it was a while ago) - eventually realised I didn't enjoy clubs that much anymore :)

I lived there for a few years in my 20's for work and couldn't wait to leave. It's so grey, built up, the people are so unfriendly, no one speaks to you in the street, i never knew any of my neighbours, there was so much litter, so many people begging and so much homelessness, and even back then it cost an arm and a leg. I found it utterly depressing but I guess it's good for a night out. But why not just visit for a weekend every now and then, that's what we do.

I dare say you could have an exciting life just about anywhere, but I do think London is really special.

I was born there. I grew up there. I raised my DC there mostly. I have lived and worked in other cities in the UK and abroad, but, to me, nothing compares to London. I've been poor there, to the point of hitch-hiking around, surprisingly successfully. Admittedly I lived in some unappealling places. I've also been more comfortably off there, which is more fun, as I imagine would be the case anywhere. I do think it's a comparatively good place to be poor as public transport is so good and less expensive than many cities, and there are so many things to do that are free. If you live there you get to find how to do more expensive things on the cheap.

I think it's a city that works for any age. There is loads to do for families, indoors and out. Obviously there is a huge variety of work. And, with excellent transport (free buses with an ordinary Bus Pass and free everything with a London Freedom Pass) and lots of places where it's quite acceptable to sit and relax, it's great for older people. I've never felt unsafe there, even though I managed to pass through Brixton when people were gathering for the Riots - nobody showed any interest in me.

I also think it has improved massively since I was little. The public transport is so much better. The air quality, although still not ideal, is much better. It's years since I've had the black snot that I used to get there. The choice of restaurants and cuisines is much better - a big uplift on just Lyons Corner House, hotels or the Cafe Royal! Swathes of dreadful housing (I've lived in some of it) have been demolished and improved, although there's always room for improvement.

I also find people there are very friendly and helpful, but you have to make the approach - they leave you alone if you don't, so you can live anonymously if you prefer. Every single time I've asked for help I've found many willing offers. It can be a bit overwhelming if several people have different ideas on, eg, the best way to get from A to B.

I did my masters over two years in London and while it was a good experience in many ways even at that point, about 10 years ago London was really expensive, I lived in Lewisham which was pretty far from the action and there is no tube out there which is one of the reasons it was cheaper. It meant a long slog into town or to where my university was and while I would budget to see some exhibitions and other cultural activities I was really priced out of a lot of what London has to offer. Also in London it feels like everyone you know lives at the furthest possible point away as we all had to just get the cheapest place to stay.

I think overall I had a better experience in my smaller, but still cosmopolitan university town where I did my undergrad as everything was more accessible to me and my friends and fellow students all lived close by which was lovely.

One thing about London is that London life is hard work and when I moved back to my home city everything felt easy by comparison and I think that gave me an edge in some respects, London did toughen me up.

I dare say you could have an exciting life just about anywhere, but I do think London is really special
I agree. I'm a real city person and have visited lots of cities all over the world. I woukd still say London is the best of them. It does make you go to other places and think ' not as good as the Natural History Museum/National Gallery etc' ( obviously there is nothing comparable to the ancient Roman architecture in actual Rome) but the museums and parks are second to none. But I go into Central London and see those things far more often now that I've moved out of London. Also, DS went into London with his friends this week. The train ticket with a young person's railcard from London to our city was £6, the one day travelcard I got him from.his grandma's house in zone 4 to Central London was £15!!!

London's fantastic, so much free stuff to do

I've also lived in about 36 places all over the UK, London is by far the best place I've ever lived

‘Lawless’ is often said by types that call it ‘Londonstan’…

I felt like you OP and when the chance came for me to move there (I was childfree and had great career opportunities in the city) I took it. I spent a long time there and experienced some wonderful things. However I never settled fully (I've lived in other cities around the uk and North America where I felt I fitted in better and would have settled, but for circumstances not being right.)
While I don't regret my time in London, and made friends for life, it wasn't the utopia I'd expected and ultimately I was glad to leave.
Don't beat yourself up over an imagined dream of what might be.

That’s true about oxford st. Exorbitant rents and online shopping have killed it. I feel sad when I think about my great shopping experiences from the 90s.

I'm actually reading a book about the "London life" at the moment it is called "An Experiment in Leisure" I pounced on it in the library!

It was a bit better when I last saw it. My impression is that big names feel that they should have a physical presence there.

I do wish they would ban those sweet shops though. They are just so depressing.

I thought this was interesting on them, because I’ve also been mystified by their rise.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jul/04/us-sweet-shops-rip-off-customers-business-rates-owners

Nope, I don't feel that way at all. I love fresh air and wide open spaces.

I feel I have dodged a bullet by not living there, tbh...

There seem to be loads of cheap nasty looking shops selling garish rubbish everywhere now and they never seem to have much custom I was sure it was a racket of some kind. I will have a read at that later thanks!

I will have a read thanks . One was raided and closed by police last year I think. Then it reopened the next day!

I'm not sure you'd call it London but I've lived in leafy zone 5 for over 20 years and would never live anywhere else. I've never lived or even worked in central London, so I suppose I've avoided the grind/commute to an extent. Instead I have green space and good state schools on my doorstep but in less than an hour I'm in the West End when I want to be. I never get tired of the buzz and the fact that I'll never run out of places to discover. I don't ever plan to move, even though I see people around me make plans to move further out when their kids leave home. I love not needing a car, and having so much culture and diversity here. In my street - distinctly suburban in many ways - there must be 30+ nationalities and I feel like I fit in just fine as I'm not from around here either. I moved here in my 30s and I have some regret I didn't spend my 20s here, but my life's not over yet :)
FYI I've lived in other capital cities and I prefer London by far.

Zone 5 is a big ring. Any way to tempt you into declaring which quadrant of it is so lovely? I like London and would return for my retirement years, but my DH wouldn't. I'd have a small dog and enjoy being close enough in (probably NW6) to see and do London life again. But DH is all about big space, large dogs and wild country. Heaven knows how we have been happily married for 30+ years.