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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not expect backlash when I go via CSA rather than private arrangement?

27 replies

Peedoffmama · 19/07/2024 10:40

Have had a private arrangement a few years now, I know that ex’s salary has gone up twice in the past year and only now have a mentioned this. He plucked an amount out of the air so I’ve gone down the CSA route so that I don’t have to have this conversation each year. He’s kicked, started bringing other stuff up and inferring he “knows stuff” .
Why? It’s like he think I’m out pissing up his CSA, not that in goes towards everything that keeps my child houses and fed.

Now I’m doubting that I should have brought it up whilst also worrying how he’s now guna be an absolute d*ck every time I see him! it’s like he can still control me now, through fear!

OP posts:
TiptoeThroughTheToadstools · 19/07/2024 18:55

My exH has paid the same amount of maintenence as he did when we first split 7 years ago. For the last 4 years he's halved the time spent with the kids and had 2 promotions and several wage rises. I know if I were to speak to him about it or go through CSA he would kick off so I've never pursued it.

LittleGreenDragons · 19/07/2024 19:03

Peedoffmama · 19/07/2024 18:06

it’s more the future texts that he will no doubt send me that I’m thinking about, definitely going to grey rock!

Get the parenting app and only communicate through that. There's one that's recommended by family court as the texts cannot be deleted. All his threats will be there in all their glory. Get it and block him on everything else.

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