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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bikini- topless in France?

50 replies

Userengage · 19/07/2024 10:10

Taking my teenagers to south of France. We usually holiday in places where going topless is banned/frowned upon however, I’m hearing that it is boobs ahoy when it comes to the beach in France.

If you usually wear a bikini on holiday, do you go topless in front of your teens? I am speaking specifically to bikini wearers as if you only wear a swimsuit, you’re possibly more modest so less likely to have your boobs out anyway. My swimsuit only comes out for actual swimming, otherwise I wear a bikini.

I am making the assumption that French teens are less uptight because their mums have been beach-topless forever.

My AIBU is: topless is absolutely fine in front of one’s teens.

OP posts:
OnlyYellowRoses · 19/07/2024 10:11

No. There is zero need.

KrisAkabusi · 19/07/2024 10:20

France isnt the topless free for all that it used to be. Look around and see what others are doing. But if you feel happy, go for it.

Userengage · 21/07/2024 15:28

OnlyYellowRoses · 19/07/2024 10:11

No. There is zero need.

There’s “no need” for many things we do but I hear you.

OP posts:
Marblessolveeverything · 21/07/2024 15:31

No because it isn't my nor my teens culture. They give none of FS what other people do elsewhere.

WrylyAmused · 21/07/2024 15:38

Incidental nakedness in an appropriate setting (which a beach where it's acceptable is), is fine.

You'll get tons of people saying it's unnecessary and traumatic for the teen, but IMO it's far less damaging to model body confidence and the fact that bodies come in all shapes and sizes, rather than teaching them to be ashamed of their bodies, or that bodies are inherently something shameful, and for the only bodies they ever see (media, ads, social media) to be filtered and airbrushed to supposed "perfection".

They're boobs. It's really not a big deal. And sure, they may feel a bit embarrassed about it. As a teen, most things your parents do are embarrassing.
I was embarrassed about my mum doing it at that age. As an adult, I'm glad she was comfortable with who she was, and that's an attitude I've taken forwards in my own life.

Additionally, (and something that is often cited here, but never in this context), it's valuable to teach children, daughters in particular, that just because something non-harmful may make someone else slightly uncomfortable, or they'd prefer you didn't do it, it's not a valid reason for constantly suppressing your own perfectly reasonably desires to do the thing.

If it's something you want to do, go ahead.

ATenShun · 21/07/2024 15:38

Long time since I was in coastal France, but there is definately a more relaxed attitude to topless or nudist sunbathing depending on the beach. As for whether you should, if you want to and there are others around you doing the same then crack on. I'm assuming your children know you have a pair.

Shaketherombooga · 21/07/2024 15:42

Just been to south of France, lots of very brown topless women. All I could think of was - skin cancer.
Even our kids asked about why they weren’t worried about being out in the sun so much.
Also, smoking. Which I realised was something our kids don’t see much of! I think they were genuinely more shocked at seeing people
smoke than being almost nude!

StormingNorman · 21/07/2024 15:46

Your kids are going to see a lot of boobs on the beach. Just go with the flow.

PonyPatter44 · 21/07/2024 15:53

If you want to go topless on the beach where plenty of other women are doing the same, by all means go for it (remember suncream on your nipples, though!). If your teens cringe, they'll just have to get over themselves.

Beth216 · 21/07/2024 16:11

Your own mum being topless in public is very different to seeing other random women topless. I would just ask them if they're ok with you doing it - why would you want to have them 'cringing' the whole holiday? If you've never gone topless before then it can't be that important to you so why do it if it's going to make them uncomfortable? On the other hand they might not care at all and then you can do what you like.

Personally I don't believe in sun bathing topless or otherwise, with all we know about skin cancer it doesn't seem like the right thing to be modelling to kids IMO.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 21/07/2024 16:12

I’m hearing that it is boobs ahoy 🤮

Why have you typed all that but not whether the teenagers are male or female?

Was it deliberate?

WonderingWanda · 21/07/2024 16:18

God I cannot think of anything worse than going topless these days....my breasts absolutely need the scaffolding these days.

eurochick · 21/07/2024 16:21

I've been to cap d'Agde most years for the past decade and there seemed to be more boobs this year than usual. I was with my fil though so definitely not baring them!

cupcaske123 · 21/07/2024 16:21

Depends surely on nudity in your family and how comfortable they are with nudity. My dad's only concession to the beach was rolling up his trousers legs.

ChesterFoxE · 21/07/2024 16:21

I've always sunbathed top less around my kids who are now 15 & 24.

I dont flaunt it or walk around topless but I will lay on a sunbed out of main view of others.

ATenShun · 21/07/2024 16:21

TwattyMcFuckFace · 21/07/2024 16:12

I’m hearing that it is boobs ahoy 🤮

Why have you typed all that but not whether the teenagers are male or female?

Was it deliberate?

Does it matter if they are male or female. Either one will know Mum has breasts. As a PP said it will also teach them that men and women come in all sorts of strange shapes and sizes and nudity isn't always sexual.

ATenShun · 21/07/2024 16:22

cupcaske123 · 21/07/2024 16:21

Depends surely on nudity in your family and how comfortable they are with nudity. My dad's only concession to the beach was rolling up his trousers legs.

I trust he also had a knotted handkerchief on his head. ;)

itsgettingweird · 21/07/2024 16:30

We holidayed in S of F as teens with my parents.

Topless was the norm and my mum always went topless.

I went topless when I lived in Tenerife for years as again - that was the norm.

But you'll get people suggesting having boobs out in front of any child over the age of 2 is akin to life scarring child abuse.

So just do what you're comfortable with - and for your own safety just don't ask or tell 😉😂

LlynTegid · 21/07/2024 16:53

My experience of France is that once phone cameras came in, topless sunbathing reduced a great deal. You can choose if you wish, though you could be in a minority.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 21/07/2024 16:56

If going topless is not something you usually do, I don't see why you would want to do it just because you're on holiday in a country where more people do it.

DysonSphere · 21/07/2024 16:59

WonderingWanda · 21/07/2024 16:18

God I cannot think of anything worse than going topless these days....my breasts absolutely need the scaffolding these days.

Same! Mine need an entire hoist!

Ginmonkeyagain · 21/07/2024 17:03

We've just been in to Southern France and I found the beaches there more relaxed generally. Some boobs out, men of all shapes in budgie smugglers and a lot of older and larger women not giving a fuck in their bikinis. It was great to see people happy in their bodies.

I don't think any one would mind if yoi did go topless, equally it is not expected (unless you go to the nudist/sex people resorts in Agde)

anyonesellinganark · 21/07/2024 17:03

I wouldn't because I am too self conscious to even wear a bikini. My mums used to though. It didn't bother me but then we holidayed in the south of France a lot so she always did it.

Scorchio84 · 21/07/2024 17:03

DysonSphere · 21/07/2024 16:59

Same! Mine need an entire hoist!

😆😆

No to answer the question, like all parents I've bathed & been naked in front of my baby, toddler but he's 7 now & while it's not a huge deal I think by his teens he doesn't need to see me naked... I am not Liz Hurley

mrssquidink · 21/07/2024 17:13

I’ve holidayed in the south of France (Languedoc region) the last few years and topless sunbathing is now very rare - last year I only saw one woman doing so. This was the normal, ie not naturist, beaches. So very definitely not (female) boobs ahoy! (Now manboobs on the other hand…)